Michelle Malkin Tries Her Hand At Singing & Political Satire - And Fails
By Logan Murphy Tuesday Feb 19, 2008 2:02pmThis is so unbelievably terrible that words escape me -- so I'll let our friend TRex break it down for you;
It’s intended, I guess, as a response to the Will.I.Am/Obama video and its target is Hillary and it’s supposed to be funny, I guess. No, no, funny-ha-ha. At least, I think it is. I have posted the YouTube above even though I couldn’t get through the whole thing without starting to retch uncontrollably. They should market Michelle’s musical stylings as an alternative to Ipecac syrup, seriously.
Listen, Michelle, you sad, pathetic shrew, leave comedy and music to professionals like me and other creative people on the Left. We own you guys on this stuff. Conservatives are just not creative people. You people spend your lives like baby birds; heads back, mouths gaping, passively awaiting the next set of talking points and marching orders from your corporate and political masters. This is not how art is made, even satirical art. To create something moving, or funny, or even engagingly nasty (a specialty of my own) requires a certain amount of soul, of individuality, of spark. Read on...
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typical repug effort: a total failure.
The real story apparently is not that "other side's" lack of credibility, but the progressives' ability to cannabalize their own.
Obama and his supporters are tearing down the only successful Democratic President in modern times, and they gleefully pile on.
Ideology? Not Present.
*make that cannibalization
Thanks guys,
I just threw up on my keyboard
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! make it stop! make it stop!
someone! please! hand me an ice pick so i can jam it in my ears!
Michelle Malkin has a nice voice.
Josh @ 2:
Hillary? Is that you?
Josh @ 2:
Hey, I love Bill Clinton, but the guy is doing it to himself
Well the first minute was kinda funny. Michelle sucky long time though.
I always doubt myself when performing in public. MM makes me feel a lot better. I can die knowing I'm not the worst musician alive.
Bad Anchor Baby! No supper for you!
Malkin ain't no Alan Holdsworth thats a given.
A pathetic vocal performance, that's for sure. Lots of that to be found on YouTube.
Sorry. Good post but I just couldn't stand to watch it.
There should be a prize if you can watch the entire thing.
ashton @ 15:
My ears are bleeding. Is that a prize?
Pass the ear bleach please.
Wow, just wow.
Total Fraud, that Malkin. Ebree one nose dat all Pinays ken sing di songs di best!! She's the first woman I've heard, of Filipino heritage, that can't sing well. She's bad for America, and she's a disgrace to all with ties to the Philippines!
What a cow. She has a hideous voice--I'm sorry for her that her world is so small and twisted.
What a skank.
Bob Hope was a Republican.
Makes me nostalgiac for the Twelve Days of Xmas GOP Chorus
abob @ 6:
Yes but zero talent.
she is really, really nuts.
I guess if you have no talent and nobody likes you and you hate minorities(self-hate included) you join the Republican party.
Wow. Besides being a pitiful attempt at humor, this was like two chalkboards mating. I never thought I'd live to hear someone actually make Yoko Ono sound good..........
Hey Logan; you forgot Ron Silver and Chuck Norris and those great actors from the right field (where the lefties bat)
sorry, you said "talent" forgot these guys don't qualify.
WTF....
We need a howling dog.
I actually enjoyed her performance - about 18 seconds into it I got to relive Jamie Farr slamming a big gong for just a moment. Good times... good times...
rusty b. shakleford @ 23:
Life on the fringe has not been kind to crazy old michelle.
ysbaddaden @ 20:
And yet, he believed in the Rule of Law and the US Constitution.
Our top government politicians aren't Democrats or Republicans, so much as members of organized crime.
How about calling them Criminilacans?
I swear, I will never complain about my husband's singing. Ever again.
Tuneless? Didn't know the real meaning until now.
bookworm @ 31:
Honey, is that you?
I never thought she could be more pathetic than when she did her cheerleader routine in her backyard. Congrats, MM, on sinking to new lows.
great - now how am I supposed to get these icepicks out of me ears?
Cons thrive on controversy. And the more you feed them the worse they get.
republicans trying to be funny... never a pretty sight.
You can't do it, you just can't do it. You can tell yourself you have the willpower to make it all the way through, but then only a few seconds into the Michelle vocals your primitive brains fight or flight reflex takes hold and makes you run retching from the deepest recesses of your soul.
This is a powerful weapon in the ongoing war against reality; we may be doomed like the Martians in "Mars Attacks" when confronted with yodeling.
given the choice between listening to that again or experiencing pain similar to but not exceeding the pain of organ failure, i'll take the organ failure
Malkin is not only terrible, but she is a typical ugly and self hating Reslug. whore.
Michelle Malkin is a complete waste of space!
Thanks
My Budgie dropped dead.
not really
nightjar @ 40:
Just nail it to the perch. It's probably just pining for the fjords.
Wow, I was just about to post on this one. It's scary.
GonzoD @ 39:
The Internet is the only social life, contact with the outside world, and means of expression for many people.
So it works out for her and Jesse.
You need a soul in order to be creative? That's a new one on me, and I've published three novels and contribute regularly to a fiction website. I've looked all through "Gray's Anatomy" and can't find which body part the soul might be hiding behind.
::shuts off the Sarcasm-o-tron::
I especially like the highlighted "HUSSEIN" stuff. This tactic would only work on the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet, and seeing as this shit was meant for other Republicans, I need not say any more.
Now there's a kind of enhanced interrogation method that I could support. Make them watch and listen to that disaster. Only a quarter way through it I was giving my social security out loud without even thinking. Anything to make it stop.
18 seconds in...... major head ache.......Please take that down before more humans are injured.
Everytime a conservative Republican tries to be funny it always end up being . . . Mean-Spirited.
If a republican had a good sense of humor, they would become a democrat.
There's a new Sheriff in Town take care of her butt.
http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Art/POLITICS/070224/070224...
I hate to use this word but I will.
Michele Malkin is a [Deleted. Follow our instincts next time. Clipped spelling noted. ; ) Site Monitor]
Malkin-Singing-Satire... that is such an offensive image I can't read further.
Who's strangling the cat?
ysbaddaden @ 20:
equating Bob Hope with Michele Malkin is like equating Barack Hussein with Saddam Hussein. You can do it, but boy does it make you look stupid!
They are still waving "Hussein" around? Like, grow up, fursure Michele that's sooo lame...
It is unfortunate that as most of us are finally lining up behind Obama, a candidate opposed to the "politics-as-usual attacks", this is exactly the kind of language some bloggers on the left continue to use.
I thought the video was amusing -- there are plenty worse mash-ups on YouTube.
pigs fart better melodies than malkin sings.
nacho_candidate @ 55:
Line up behind?
How bout with?
Josh @ 2:
josh i would eat you, but then green meat is not very tasty, is it?
Sorry- This thing was so pathetic and boring that I couldn't get far enough into it to develop a good case of nausea. And I'm home from work today with the flu, so I was primed.
The whole thing is typical republican: unfunny attacks on both democratic candidates. One could have dismissed it easy enough, but why would she try to sing, that was just awful! beyond awful! painful!!
Kahn @ 59:
Maybe she's looking for a record contract. If she is, good luck with that. Not gonna happen.
Well, what do you expect from someone who even got kicked off FucksNews for being such a shrew!
I'm sending her a bill for my plants and my fish. I started to play this and they all dropped dead.
Reich-wingers, you have sunk to a new low.....if that's possible.
That was, um, awful. I mean, I'm searching for a way to be nice about it and give props for the effort, but seriously, that was bad. I felt like I was at one of those karaoke bars where the people insist on singing "I Want to Know What Love is" by Foriegner. I couldn't even get past the first two lines.
Just toss every word meaning "bad" right here for my response to this.
Bob was a republican when republicans were members of the human race. Somewhere, they became taken over by aliens.
ysbaddaden @ 20:
I have a broken watch that is correct twice a day.
Hey, I just thought that maybe that was her goal. All of us progressives would listen to this and drop dead. Repugs win by default.
nacho_candidate @ 54:
I am sorry if the political language used hurts you sensitive soul but we are in the very brink of Fascism in this county, it is no time to be a kinder gentler left wing. In the words of the Dixie Chicks "I ain't ready to make nice"
Ex-Canuck @ 61:
Now THAT is an accomplishment.
Here is some liberal satire for Malkin to digest. She didn't hit a note, btw.
Bankrupt America
Craig Is Back, Alright!
Myanmar
Time To Privatize Breast Milk
As a comedy musician myself. I am offended by this. Even more be execution than by content.
ysbaddaden @ 20:
Bob Hope wasn't funny.
ysbaddaden @ 20:
Bob is also turning in his grave.
nacho_candidate @ 54:
What "language" are you referring to you? You mean the language of facts and reality?
bob @ 71:
Well said and only reinforces TRex's point.
ashton @ 15:
I couldn't do it either. It's like going to kareoke night and staying sober.Don't these people know they don't have any talent.
Satire done better...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbHfNlpmbjY
Geez. Now my neighborhood dogs are pissed.
Weaseldog @ 76:
Oh! you are so right, Roy is awesome! (i love his ID song..)
Do MalKKKin's "fans" actually find this entertaining? Seriously?
That was the absolute most pointless thing I have ever witnessed in my life.
Id love to bone Malkin :)
Michelle Malkin failing at what she fails at best, entertainment.
However I sincerely take issue with you comparing her to baby birds. While initially baby birds are helpless (not hapless like Michelle), they are very intelligent, vying for the 1st dibs on the food and are very proactive in feeding themselves after infancy. It is an insult to birds everywhere, who have a very complex social structure and strong survival instincts, to be compared to an unattractive dimwit. I have raised parrots & believe me, while they will "parrot", they know exactly what they are parroting and generally know the response. Parrots love reactions, especially laughter, which make them innately better comedians than conservatives. The shock value of a parrot singing or cursing is usually funny. They love attention and drama. The shock value of Malkin singing or trying parody is to tune her out.
Hahahahahahahahahahahha! This will totally backfire on M&M. I think there are more people that think Hillary's tears were genuine and think the idiots that are calling her tears fake are the real monsters. I am convinced that M&M is really a reptilian just like Cheney, Rove and Coulter. Hahahahahahahahaha....
OH my lord it's stuck in my head... :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ1vvzVxzJE Philip Seymour Hoffman at the 2000 RNC. at 2:35 we get to see a younger Michele!
Holy intonation, Batman! Somebody get Michelle some breath support.
jimmiraybob @ 77:
Lampposts are roaming and marking your neighborhood?
Wow. I never in my wildest dreams thought that by watching that video on the actual YouTube page, I would find one of the remaining 19% or so who still support George Bush. People like commentor liberalsR2dumb...
Congratulations, Michelle. You've succeeded in carrying with you the most historically ignorant people the world has ever seen.
jeffenator98 @ 75:
Kinda like watching Korean Elvis impersonators?
I didn't think it was possible, but I just vomited from my ears.
andy @ 81:
Just got out of prison, eh? That evil creepy little bitch would make my stuff shrink. You can have her, I'd rather make her wash my car.
If they want funny right wing parody then they should let Paul Shanklin do them. He's the guy that did all those parody songs and commercials I heard on Rush Limbaugh back in the 90's. Or they should hire the guys who do South Park. But they make fun of everybody and are particularly good at skewering the left and the right.
Michelle, oh Michelle, that sucked.
Hmmmm.....'not easy to bee heee me'..... I guess not honey... OMFG....Musically??? That grrrl couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with help..... what a freakin waste of time...Doesn't even qualify as far as I'm concerned as 'bad satire' or 'humor' at all....
I dunno, maybe she might do better at porn or lapdancing... If a guy could get past her politics, (good luck with that one) and her personality which is somewhere between a cardboard box and pissed off scorpian....Geebus Shelle, I'd tell you to stay out of showbiz and just keep yer dayjob....But you suck at that too...JD
bob @ 71:
Bob could sing and dance though.
andy @ 84:
How? It didn't even have a real melody line.
Weaseldog @ 95:
Or real barbs...
Horrible singing. Just horrible.
Hey Michelle. Just put the cheerleader uniform back on- so I can turn off the sound. That's the only way I can stand to watch.
gumby @ 94:
I liked Bob Hope.
I almost ran him over once while sneaking into Pebble Beach to go surfing. I was driving my little Honda car down a horse trail early in one morning,and low and behold theres Bob with his little dog.
Let's just say he wasn't too happy with me blazing by.
abob @ 6:
Yeah, if you take away the inability to sing on key or hit notes, and the incredible amount of trouble she has with phrasing, not to mention the shrillness, she does indeed have a nice voice.
Phillybits @ 90:
At least he got the date right.
Dr. Matt @ 102:
Wow..............the ignorance and stupidity never ceases to amaze me.
But the hate................................................wow.......that guy needs a shrink.
The key to Republican "humor" - if you don't have a brain, a spleen is an acceptable substitute.
OK, I got through two minutes of that drek, and as Popeye the Sailor Man once put it,
"I can't stands no more!"
I've stepped on a cat's tail and heard better sounds. Malkin, you're a loser. You're well past your 15 minutes of fame, crawl back under your rock.
It's still better than the 12 days of Christmas by the Young Republicans. But not much.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/12/13/when-web-videos-go-very-very-wr...
I couldn't do it.
I just couldn't listen to it.Call me what you will.I'll pass.But thank You anyway.
am I the only one having difficulty posting on older threads?
[mudshark, please contact the site team so we can take a look at the threads with which you're having problems. You're comments aren't in the spam filter, that's for sure. Site Monitor]
abob @ 6:
Are you serious? She can't even carry a tune.
I just wasted three minutes and 57 seconds of my life.
Forget water-boarding - this is torture! Jack Bauer is weeping somewhere right now, he never could have thought of anything this persuasive. Have a suspected terrorist listen to this and after a minute they'd turn in their own mother.
I really think we should be leaving baby birds out of this. Baby birds do not grow up to be Malkins...but could you imagine if they did?
It would be like those flying monkey things in the Wizard of Oz.
Now that's a photoshop contest!
I actually found the video to be somewhat funny. Sure, her singing is horrible..but that just adds to the humour.
Wow. William Hung of American Idol "fame" gots nuthin on this display. I think that little stint might have been a little funny, if the person doing it had talent. Jeebus Michelle. You've been fired for crying out loud. Slink back to your little "blog" where you belong. Enjoy the BillyBob adulation and get a life. Nobody is buying your schtick anymore. You gotta screw loose. You even make Rightwingers nervous, cuz, hey, YER NUTS!!! Go stalk yerself up some handy dandy evil Dems somewhere for dinner.
Why would Michelle Malkin make a sound effects record?
Further, why would she make one in which you can't identify the noise or animal cry she is supposed to be mimicking?
Maybe she would do better just making videos of her having sex with animals rather than making recordings imitating their mating calls.
this blog post reminds me of why i hate democrats sooo much. Trust me i hate GWB more but I ended up reading this site during his time in office as alternative and sometimes sane viewpoint on the topic du jour. now, your team is going to inherit the power and you all sit around slamming malkin b/c she made fun of hillary. Malkin is pathetic..so is bush... but, NEWSFLASH...so is hillary!
you D's need to wake up and realize that we are going to get the same amount of shit with your team in office than we did with GWB. It will just smell different but it will still be shit.
Why is it their (Republicans) goal in life to make fun of and mock something that was done with compassion? They never seem to have an original thought of their own, but survive off of the goodness of others. They wouldn't have anything to do if it wasn't for their hatefulness.
Like the saying goes,
So that's was surgery feels like when the anesthetic fails.
My ears, they won't stop bleeding!
One Word.....
AutoTune.
hank rearden @ 118:
LOL, whatever - I can't stand Hillary, think she would make a terrible president, but if you honestly think she could possibly approach the disaster that is Bush the lesser, you have more than one screw loose.
And besides, any opportunity to mock Malkin is a good thing: shrill, racist, factually challenged ideologues like Michelle should be mocked to the point where they are afraid to leave their McMansions.
If you can't get with that, tighten your screws, 'cause it's going to be a bumpy ride for you the next few years.
Have a seat Hank. You'll like it here.
Don't be such a hater, Hank.
ysbaddaden @ 20:
Mr. Hope was one of the richest guys in show biz way back when - he owned tens of thousands of acres in the SF Valley.
I imagine his wealth had something to do with his political choice.
In the meantime, here's a great zinger from the old codger (back when he was funny):
the rethug[deleted] strikes again...
whew, what an ugly piece of trash.
and the song sucks too.
coloboyz @ 25:
snort - that's one of the funniest things I've read in a while
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit......
You shouldn't have posted this. All you're doing is giving her more views to the video. And it's painful on top of that.
I see Yoko has a new gig.
Pete @ 123:
no worries. My screws are tight enough to know that it's the system that is corrupt and it is not going to mean a spit of difference b/t hillary, mccain, or obama. Obama sure makes me feel good, but drill down into his rhetoric and he is a socialist through and through. Hillary could in fact be worse than bush if she had her way. She likes war too my friend. She has the same masters. By the way, i would not put the challenge to hilllary to be more of a disaster than Bush. I bet you she could. I hated Clinton I and Bush made me long for Bill. Will Hill make me long for Bush II? Think about it.
Good heavens that was awful.
So, I assume that was her singing. Why doesn't she team up with Ted Nugent, and record a duet? He'd probably shoot her with his crossbow.
That was REAL clever Malkin splashing Hussein all over the screen , another juvenile right wing attempt to make obama look like what , a terrorist or dictator . Leave comedy to liberals and music as well , because you couldn't even make it on the Casino circuit with Nugent .
You really should read some of the comments on the actual YouTube video. Priceless. I don't know if some of her supporters are being ironic or not, but the comments are astounding. Here's an example from ConcernedMother72:
"Islam is a dangerous country and must be destroyed
thank you michelle"
I wonder if Islam is anywhere near Dumbfuckistan?
Okay, okay, okay... Full disclosure: I'm totally addicted to her blog. It's positively ridiculous and some of the funniest shit out there. She has like fifty half-retarded republicans that sit at home and post the most heinous, egregious comments that make Britney Spears look informed.
I can just picture all these fat, slobs sitting in trailers one hand wrapped around a budweiser and the other massaging some two-inch wonder perving over her website bio. Yikes, these people are truly scary. Sorry for the mental image I just painted.
wow sorta sounds like that time I backed over a cat.
Kidney stone for the ears?
whew! and we thought her cheerleading could kill a viagra buzz.
She started her web video career as "tubgirl", and its gone downhill ever since.
Man, I couldn't do it! 10 seconds in, I had to shut it off! I just can't fucking listen to that shit! She makes Yoko Ono's singing voice sound like Pavarotti in comparison-UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! Want to know what my idea of hell is - it's a place where it's always Karaoke Night, and there's only one contestant - Michelle Malkin. Jesus, that goes so many levels beyond bad!! - Can Five For Fighting sue her for (ab)using their song????? Memo to Malkin: You're video making priveledges have now been permanently revoked!
Even performance art has to be good on some level, but this?? I don't even have a word to fully describe this level of bad.
Serious mister admin, I don't want to question your judgement, but why are you giving this whore more hits than she deserves?
Come on.
Is she even relevant to nutty right anymore?
This is one sad bitch. Sorry...but she is pathetic.
She can't sing, but I think that's the point. But still... never thought I'd hear myself saying this: Malkin is on the mark here. Clinton's campaign has been disgusting from her racialization to her fake tears, fake everything - to her attempts to move the goalposts on the Wi and Fl delegates. I hope Obama beats her and her fellow conservative, McCain to a pulp. Clinton is a big polarizing, false mess. The Republicans are praying the Dems will fall on their faces as usual and nominate her, handing the election to the Republicans.
Shades of Tokyo Rose and Seoul City Sue?
Her voice actually crashed my computer-and that is hard to do on OSX. She gave my iMac the dreaded "wheel of death".
you mean barak's middle name is HUSSEIN? who knew?
For the record:Hillary didn't CRY. Her voice cracked a little bit with emotion, she may have even got misty eyed for a second, but NO TEARS. For pete's sake they all act like she was sobbing. They call her a robot for not showing emotion, then at the first sign of emotion she is either an unfit sissy or worse a phony manipulative bitch. Tuker Carlson can kiss my taint. On second thought, no he can't.
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