Stephen Colbert joined the cable networks in their coverage of the swine-flu outbreak with his own special report titled: "Enemy Swine: A PigCalypse Now, The Coming Oink-Mageddon"
Unfortunately, Colbert's guest from the WHO is sick and can't make it. So he winds up answering questions from viewers and offering his usual, ah, sage advice.
The final question: "How do I get rid of this swine flu hysteria once and for all?"
Remember: swine flu feeds on our fear. All we have to do is stop being scared and follow the rational advice of experts. We've got to start thinking calmly so the panic will starve itself out. Because if we don't, we're all doomed. DOOOOOMED!!!