Terrible Life Lessons From Your Favorite Christmas Movies
Help me. I'm overdosing on Christmas shows and Christmas music.
It occurred to my snarky self while watching our annual edition of "It's A Wonderful Life" that not all of the stimuli that my children are eagerly taking in gives them the best ideas about the "reason for the season." I mean, George Bailey's financial situation is making him consider suicide--leaving a widow and young children with the same bills and no real opportunity for income (how many women in those days worked?). Why did I just let my kids watch the wild imaginings of a suicidal man? That's some serious Christmas cheer.
Then I happened upon this site, and they articulated so well exactly what I was thinking:
Movie: The Polar Express (2004)
Bad Lesson: If You’re a Minor and a Stranger Offers You a Ride, You Should Probably Say “Yes”
Movie: The Santa Clause (1994)
Bad Lesson: If You Kill Santa Claus, You Will Become Santa Claus
Movie: A Christmas Carol (1951)
Bad Lesson: People Will Like You Instantly If You Give Them Money
Movie: Home Alone (1990)
Bad Lesson: People in the Chicago Suburbs Never Call the Police for Any Reason Whatsoever
Movie: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Bad Lesson: Sometimes Chevy Chase Makes Good Movies
Movie: Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Bad Lesson: If People Were Mean to You as a Kid, That Excuses ANY Malicious Criminal Behavior You Might Commit When You’re an Adult
Movie: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Bad Lesson: If You’re in Need of a Moment of Clarity – Why Not Give Suicide a Try?
Movie: Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Bad Lesson: If Enough People Say Something Is True, Eventually, It Becomes True
Movie: A Christmas Story (1983)
Bad Lesson: Toy Safety Warnings are Pointless and Should Be Disregarded Immediately
Can you think of any other bad lessons from the Christmas staples?
dosing again
When I get that crazy feeling, I know
I'm in trouble again
to find out what movie Chevy Chase made that didn't suck.
Fletch
NOBODY 2012
I liked "Foul Play".
Help me I think I'm over
___________________________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJY7doE3IX8
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Movie: Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Bad Lesson: If Enough People Say Something Is True, Eventually, It Becomes True
Hahah!
Does that mean Santa-God will become true too?
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
Movie: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Bad Lesson: If You’re in Need of a Moment of Clarity – Why Not Give Suicide a Try?
__________________________________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZhpDfdhlJQ
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Oh the humanity! Try some nice hot cocoa and a marshmellow.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
Hey, Jazz and nightclubs! I guess us jitterbug dancers are evil.
oh and god forbid a single woman becomes...
a...
LIBRARIAN!
my great aunt and uncle wrote this script in about two weeks; capra, who was ill-educated and rather coarse (despite his undisputed genius at directing schmaltzy flicks) said "now lady" to my aunt (a vassar grad) NOBODY "now ladied" my aunt. they (the hacketts) did not see the movie for a decade after it was released. they also had a string of money-making hits that followed; IAWL was capra's last credible work. in any event, anyone interested in "the rest of the story" (as well of tons of fascinating inside material of hollywood's golden age - the hacketts wrote the thin man movies, diary of anne frank, seven brides, garland and astaire vehicles, etc.) is well-advised to read my cousin david goodrich's "the real nick and nora" you will not be disappointed. by the way, little compton RI, where she (frances) summered as a child, has prominent families named bailey and wainwright, and the local downscale neighborhood is called pottersville, intriguing coincidences.
Linus' explanation of Christmas says it all in this
Alternate Ending.
Transcript follows:
"Once upon a time, when we were babies, our parents made a conscious decision to deceive us. They created a bunch of fairy tales, like Santa Claus and Baby Jesus, to give us kids false hope and to comfort themselves as they approached death. But Santa isn't real. Jesus isn't real. Heaven doesn't exist. It's all a bunch of bullsh*t. When we die, our bodies lie rotting in the earth and worms and bugs eat at our remains and sh*t us out into little bits of nothing. That's all we are, little bits of nothing. Christmas isn't about giving love, or the birth of a savior. It's about moving merchandise, and false sentiment. It's about dumbass c*********s like Charlie Brown, running around all night trying to buy a goddamn tree that was cut down before it even had a chance to grow. And what do you have to show for it Charlie Brown? You bought a dead tree. You bought a dead f*cking tree Charlie Brown. You are unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. You embody all that is wrong with the Christmas holiday. In fact, you deserve to die Charlie Brown. God is dead, hail Satan! Charlie Brown must die."
...he's a HUMAN BEAN! hes ...actually kind of ...two dimensional ...with a really huge head ... and bad hair ... but um ... nevermind ...
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
"a really huge head and bad hair..."
Did Charlie Brown grow up and change his name to Chris Matthews?
* There are two types of Republicans: millionaires and suckers.
"Mugsy's Rap Sheet": Recording history for those who seek to rewrite it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8430118.stm
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
is the true sprit of Xmas!
I can't wait till i tell my religious relatives at dinner how the Pope got slapped around by some lady. I just want to see any reaction they might have...
I'm sure he was quite a gentleman and she was not provoked.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
"Kids, the moral of Rudolph is that if the man doesn't give you the nod you'll be subject to a life of ridicule. Like Golem,or Joe Lieberman."
http://twitter.com/garymcm/status/6694318980
If you have a deformity, people will only like you if they can exploit your deformity for their own gain...
otherwise,
you are a cast out with ridicule.
You know, I always felt way bitter about that song when I was a kid! My daughter felt the same way about it....song seems to teach that "friendship" is a superficial and shallow concept; you will be ridiculed for being different unless you can somehow parlay that difference into something "cool" or profitable...then all the people who pooped on you when you were a nobody, show up again to try and suck your a**. I thought Rudolph should have told all of the other reindeer to go jump in the lake.
Thanks Nicole, just the twist I needed on this Christmas.
Frosty the Snowman: being out in the cold is good for you.
Corruption favors the wealthy.
... (1947)
Bad Lesson: If Enough People Say Something Is True, Eventually, It Becomes True
That's the Palin strategy to a T.
I thought that the moral of Its a Wonderful Life was, "if the bank that handles your mortgage foolishly loses a ton of money, everyone in the town should dig deep into their own pockets to bail out the bank."
And, apparently, its a lesson the US has learned quite well.
:)
Corruption favors the wealthy.
Movie: Jingle All The Way
Bad Lesson: Never let Arnold Schwarzenegger direct anything.
Movie: Jingle All the Way
Bad Lesson: Acquisitiveness is a good thing! Christmas is all about the expensive swag!
:)
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
I prefer the positive message from "Trading Places," the only way to hurt a rich man is to make him poor.
Sage words...
dont put smoked salmon in the pocket of your Santa Suit.
Boy did I learn that one the hard way ...
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
It's perfectly acceptable to impregnate a young virgin who is betrothed to a another and provide no assistance whatsoever even if she has to give birth in a barn.
Corruption favors the wealthy.
... were some astronomers/religious types from what was then Persia ... but is now called IRAN.
Thanks for that.
Corruption favors the wealthy.
Movies are a reflection of American life and (popular) values.
"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements." Norman Douglas, British author, 1868~1952 ...(and I agree)
far left loon >.<
Try a male/female role reveral in an advertizement and most often out pops a stereotype that wasn't obvious before.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
seen a commercial that wasn't Hetero-centric in some way. Like how they always throw in a woman in a male commercial, just so you don't get the idea the man in the commercial is queer. Doesn't matter if the product is completely unrelated to sexuality, dating, etc. I mean, it could be about pancakes. It's ALWAYS gotta be a man with a woman or women popping up..
who is the first person to buy the farm in a movie when you need a bit of pique to emotionally charge the plot? Mom, the wife, or the fiance. Strong women in stories seem to only be there to die when tragedy is needed to shuffle the plot along.
Notice how Disney tends to kill off ALL non-nubile females? Every young heroine has a dead mother.
Oh that reminds me of the most HORRIBLE commercial I heard on the radio this month in Houston. It's some jewelry store and it start out with them saying how because of the diffucult economy, buying diamonds would just be over the top this year. Which is EXACTLY why you should do it! I'm not kidding, they actually say this. Why am I surprised? There are no ethics or morals in corporate America.
There's a guy on TV in Toronto (he's Jewish, keep reading) that has really tacky ads. He'll buy any gold, from anyone, even gold teeth.
Here's the guy. I can't find the gold teeth one: my sister told me in an email from Toronto. I think the Toronto community was outraged, so he stopped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPGKE6jUL7E&fe...
far left loon >.<
z
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi3gjL-Slbo
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBRZ6GEFjG4
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Frosty the Snowman: There's no magic that can't be utterly spoiled and perverted in the name of greed.
A Charlie Brown Christmas: It's abundantly clear that our schools must indoctrinate children in Christian tradition.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: If you're a minority, maybe your parents should try and hide that fact so you can fit in with the other kids. And when that doesn't work, run away to some remote place and hang out with all the other freaks instead of expecting a handout.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas: Ignore the corporations and the politicians who are busy fucking you over this holiday season. Even when your homes are empty and your tables bare, just get together with your neighbors and sing! (Of course, we know that if Dick Cheney's heart were to increase in size 1,000 fold, it'd still be smaller than the Grinch's.)
There is no time of the year when Garfield is even slightly amusing. No. You cannot have that time back.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
If you are in any way defective, no one will love you and you will be banished. If you are very lucky someone will take pity on you.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Try seeing the glares you get when you start singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Sausage.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
The bad lessons are fun, but I have been wondering this season why the right-wing hasn't been attacking nearly all of the Christmas stories. Isn't the unreconstructed Scrooge the model hero of Norquist or Rand? Couldn't you just hear the GOP rally in favor of workhouses as a solution to poverty. And what's with Tiny Tim making us feel guilty about his lack of health care? Humbug, fer sure.
Wouldn't O'Reilly and Beck warm to Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life"? He's got the entrepreneurial spirit. Bailey sounds like someone from Acorn or the community development act, helping people into the middle class.
Isn't just about every Christmas story, including the first one, an attack on the powerful and a celebration of caring for our fellows. Socialists.
it was actually Robin Hood she railed against. Implicitly, theft was okay as long as you were already rich.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltps17if3t8
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cMq2fKqT4M
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
It's easier to fight an imaginary war against x-mas than face the reality that their worldview is along the lines of the Grinch and Scrooge.
The republican't war on reality marches on.
When angry, count four, when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain-
Republicans
...as their heads fill with fuzzy webs of deception, to the exclusion of everything else [Beck, take your lithium] their grip on reality diminishes.
They seem determined not to make reparations for their behavior, so they may be on a one way trip into fuzzy land, and out of reality.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
As a matter of fact, no lie! Several years ago I received an email from some guy with a blog, I think it was breadandroses or something like that, but anyhow it contained an actual memo from J Edgar Hoover released through the Freedom of Information Act, in which--I kid you not---Hoover slammed IAWL as "Communist propaganda." The memo is a classic; I will try to find it in my archives and post it here. You wonder at the mentality of someone who could find creeping pinkoism in a story where the hero is a BANKER...!
This has the FBI memo in it:
http://www.wisebread.com/fbi-considered-its-a...
All the lessons you need to know, you can get.....from South Park;
Enjoy.
When angry, count four, when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCNGjKnTzaQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQLPZlKIHLE&fe...
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
In a meta kind of way.
Go to:
www.garfieldminusgarfield.com
Though once you've seen the site, it's probably fair to say it actually goes towards proving your point.
I still want to see a Rankin/Bass style Christmas special, Rudolph the Shiny Gun Cowboy, and starring as Rudolph and the narrator: Willie Nelson.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
In a meta kind of way.
Go to:
www.garfieldminusgarfield.net
Though once you've seen the site, it's probably fair to say it actually goes towards proving your point.
By Charles Dickens 1930.br />
Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.
Part Five.
Part Six
Part Seven.
Part Eight.
Merry Christmas to all, And To All, A Very Merry Christmas.
What is your conceptual, continuity?
I'm sure there's one in there for all of us.
I usually try to catch this flick every year. Some years, I avoid it like the plaque. Then some years, I kinda need it.
Like I said, There are tons of messages in this flick.
I think I got mine for this year.
Watch what you eat. It may give you nightmares.:)
What is your conceptual, continuity?
How about this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq9IKsH9BXg&fe...
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
:)
What is your conceptual, continuity?
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER: It's OK to torment and shun someone for being different, that is, until you discover he has an ability you can exploit to get yourself out of trouble.
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS: Perhaps because of a lack of adult supervision bordering on neglect, a depressed child may turn to religion as an escape from the cruelty of frenemies.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL: A bad dream may be all it takes to make a man realize the obvious, that one day he is going to die. Once he realizes he's doomed, others benefit as a man bargains for redemption.
Life would be so great...without you.
NOBODY 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfqZPoqv1NU
COME ON!
NOBODY 2012
Funny how these two go hand in hand.
This time of year can make people either super happy,or, very depressed.
I think it's due largely to the commercialism of Christmas.
We all wish we had enough money to give all of our loved ones anything and everything.
This year was/is brutal.
One thing that keeps popping up in my mind is, someone else has got it worse than I do.
The suicide tag is disturbing. Very disturbing.
Soon we'll all have a new year. Lets hope it gets better.
Acts of kindness can go a long way. For both the person you're trying to help. And for you.
Lets all hope for a better new year. Cause it can't get much worse than the last one.
ok,ok,ok..............lets not go there please.
What is your conceptual, continuity?
type crap too. By that, I mean the ideal of the big, happy family all together for Christmas where nothing goes wrong, etc. If you have a very dysfunctional family, or are estranged from them, or they've all passed away, it can be hard to get saturated with all the propaganda. I know Christmas used to be very rough on my PTSD. Let's just say that I've had my share of lousy Christmases. I love Christmas now, but not everyone is able to feel the same.
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I look forward to the day when Christmas makes me feel good again.
It'll happen someday. I know it will.
But like I said. I know someone out there has got it worse than I do.
That gives me an idea. Got a plan for tomorrow now.:)
What is your conceptual, continuity?
person will appreciate whatever you do for them tomorrow! :)
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
Find a homeless person, and give them some of our old warm cloths. Or a blanket. Random acts of kindness Annaleigh can go a long way.
What is your conceptual, continuity?
And save him from the Yule Cat.
http://www.simnet.is/gardarj/yule11.htm
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
random children's charity since I wasn't leaving the house today. :)
And yeah, I certainly agree. I think they even make the world go round! :)
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
(Unfortunately this links to Fox News, but) an anonymous woman rented hotel rooms for fifteen homeless people.
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
I really do.
What is your conceptual, continuity?
your area, I'm sure they'll appreciate it, and remember it.
"The greatest tyranny is censoring information in order to be better able to control people." - Cristina Saralegui
homeless shelter, now and during the year. But unfortunately I can't this year.
You really aren't.
I know what your feeling right now.
It'll get better. But in the meantime, if you can, do a random act of kindness.
You know what I mean. It doesn't take much.
Merry Christmas Rich.
What is your conceptual, continuity?
Lesson: Everything's better with syrup.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Life lesson: It's okay to murder misfits.
Video
* There are two types of Republicans: millionaires and suckers.
"Mugsy's Rap Sheet": Recording history for those who seek to rewrite it.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!!!" -- Arthur Carlson, WKRP in Cincinnati
Enjoy my dramatic re-enactment of the story of the little drummer boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csH-JqI0JTE
My version of the Chipmunk's Christmas song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hotZi2XPNBo
You left out the last one. They had White Christmas as no. 10: Bad Lesson: Irving Berlin's "White Christmas" is One of the Most Innocent and Uplifting Christmas Carols of All Time.
Probably not a good idea to hook up with Mrs. Santa's sister.
So little time.
Rudolph is chock full of SO many bad lessons, it probably shouldn't be on.
Santa is a Jerk
* There are two types of Republicans: millionaires and suckers.
"Mugsy's Rap Sheet": Recording history for those who seek to rewrite it.
After all, we're talking about one of the holiest seasons of a religion that teaches that it's appropriate to have someone else sacrifice and die so that you don't have to be responsible for your own transgressions. No wonder so many Republicans are big fans of Jesus.
Turn off you TV.
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