SNL: John McCain Appeals To Voters

Republican presidential candidate explains some considerations that voters might want to consider in selecting their next president:

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Good evening, my fellow Americans. I ask you, what should we be looking for in our next president? Certainly, somebody who is very, very, very old.

But just as important, we will need a leader of courage and principle. Someone who is willing to do what is best for this country. Even when doing so is unpopular. Such as putting an end to runaway government spending and especially, congressional earmarks, those wasteful pork barrel projects sneaked anonymously into bills by members of Congress as a favor to campaign contributors or powerful local interests.

Most of these projects are at best unnecessary, such as $15 million to the US Postal Service for a commemorative stamp honoring Tom Delay’s appellate lawyers. Whose idea was that? Or this bit of pork: $160 million to the Department of Defense for developing a device that can jam gaydar. Now I don’t know if this is anti-gay or pro-gay or if such a device would even work. But I do know this: jamming gaydar is not a federal responsibility. That’s something best left to state and local governments.

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