Stand Back! Tom Delay's Fixing To Be Struck By Lightning!
June 27, 2016

Y’all, Tom DeLay. I know, I know, he’s supposed to be gone but, y’all, he’s my damn neighbor. He lives just outside spitting distance from my house that is certainly lucky for him.

So, unknown to everyone including me, he’s written a new book. Well, that’s not quite true. Someone else wrote a book and offered to give Tom money to hawk it. Don’t buy it because if it sells as well as his first book, it’ll be $ .02 by next Thursday.

As his life has shown, Tom will pretty much do anything for money and/or attention. He’s in Washington, DeeCee, this week selling “his” book, looking for someone to buy his lunch, and chasing skirts. He was able to lasso a reporter.

He was powerfully upset by the Democrats having a sit-in.

If the Sugar Land Republican were still running the show at the U.S. Capitol, he said, he would’ve had no mercy for the Democrats participating.

“I’m heartbroken. The destruction of dignity, decorum of the people’s House,” he said. “That House doesn’t belong to those members. It belongs to the people of the United States, and for them to desecrate it like they just did is beyond me.”

Pot, meet kettle. Goodness sake, desecrate is a mighty big word for one of the biggest crooks ever in the House. Just because all his crookerly was behind closed doors doesn’t make it a sacrament.

Need I remind you that the only character witness he could come up with for his trial was Dennis Hastert. He has said before that we need to pray for Hastert, but now we should file ethics charges against John Lewis.

“You cannot allow things like this to happen without some consequences,” he said. “I think what I’d do is file ethics charges against every member that did this.”

Yeah, and that’s why American got rid of his sorry butt.

You’ll be amused to know that Tom hasn’t made a decision on Donald Trump yet. Obviously, this is because Trump hasn’t given him any money yet. But, Tom sure has his hand out …

“I’m not there yet. [I] may wait until voting day before I decide whether I am going to vote or not,” he said. “There’s plenty of time between now and then for him to convince me he’s a conservative, a constitutional conservative.” [Translation: give me some money, Pal.]

Then he added: “I think the good thing about Trump is he tells it like it is, and he tells the truth, sometimes.”

Sometimes. As opposed to Tom, as in never.

Crossposted at

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