Welcome To Breitbartistan, New Sovereign Country Of The Internets

Welcome To Breitbartistan, New Sovereign Country Of The Internets

And lo! It came to pass that the Breitbartians decreed that a new day has dawned, and with it, a Second Declaration of Independence.

Because I cannot possibly mock this as well as TBogg did, I'll just offer a small quote and invite you to read the rest at Raw Story.

David Shapiro, angling for a spot to become the most mocked Shapiro (and good luck withthat, Sparky) at at Ghost Breitbart’s House of Cash Your Paycheck Quickly is not going to take your shit anymore, you guys.

Or should I say, you “minions” and “acolytes.”

Here is how his Second Declaration of Independence opens — prepare to feel your nipples harden with excitement and anticipation:

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to assume that their president, hostile to the principles that formed the nation and determined to act with malice toward its inhabitants by suppressing their rights and enabling its enemies to prosper in their attempts to destroy it, must be confronted, a rational response for the nation is to encumber itself no more with such a president and reject his authority and the acolytes who carry out his wishes.

Slow down there, little secessionist buddy, let’s not shoot our wad in the first sentence, ‘kay?

Two countries in one! Perhaps we could send the Ferguson and Saint Louis County Police there to keep things under a lid.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service (revised 3/17/2016) for information on our posting policy.