Satire: Michele Bachmann's 'Nothing To Lose'
Crafting political ads is a delicate task.
Candidates such as Michele Bachmann must carefully walk the line between aggressive and shameless, between earnest and desperate. It's hard to be effective coming from behind. Candidates must avoid the perception they are simply experimenting with provocative messages to break through media fog--flailing or despair will be read as weakness.
It's tough to put aside your ideological preferences and coldly analyze a candidate's efficacy, but it's of inestimable use to a modern campaign. So let's play Frank Luntz! Get out your imaginary focus group dials, let us coldly break down Bachmann's new spot. How's her body language? Her messaging? Do her plunging, nay, disintegrating poll numbers seem to inform her choices? In the battle for primary voters, every variable must be carefully weighed.
See how you think she did and share your thoughts in the comments.
Maybr she should change up her game i.e. support social security, tell Marcus it's ok to be gay. Oh wait never mind...
A small mind is easier to lose...
Did her poll numbers begin to drop before or after the media stopped paying attention to Bachmann?
Would a person genuinely attracted to her brand of theocratic lunacy really vote for a woman for president?
If they might, would they still vote for her if there were a male alternative, one who happened to be a Yosemite Sam Governor of Texas?
After it was clear to likes of Karl Rove that Palin was a liability for the GOP, did Bachmann serve a purpose by keeping the theocratic base active and excited with just enough time to allow Perry to officially enter the race?
Everyone is equally entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Wasn't that once self evident?
I think KKKarl Rove hates Perry too.Maybe it is more of a Tea Party strategy rather than a Rovian strategy.
But in any case that made me truly LOL for the first time today, thanks.
You were always my favorite Beastie Boy.
your cash and your jewelry is what I expect
I hope you no longer get nauseous when flying round the world, we were all worried.
is for money, and the D is for diamonds!
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
..give it a shot:
(This video shows Michelle Bachmann serenely walking about a field of flowers as she says the ensuing):
"Hi, I'm Michelle Bachmann.
"Rick Perry is an ignorant thug.
"Mitch Romney waffles so much, I've been tempted to pour syrup on him. Plus he's a Mormon. Which means he belongs to a cult. Good luck with that one, cult boy.
"Ron Paul is insane, Rick Santorum is a joke and Newt Gingrich is, well, Newt Gingrich.
"John Huntsman? Another cult boy.
"The black guy? He's supposed to be some right wing ying to Obama's left wing yang. It took you all of two seconds to figure that one out, didn't it?
"So that just leaves me, Michelle Bachmann.
"I unapologetically traffic in eliminationist rhetoric, constantly lie through my teeth without exhibiting an ounce of shame & my husband is as queer as a three dollar bill."
"So if this hot honey from Minnesota does give you teabaggers a lift in the trousers, then you can all do Cheney yourselves."
(Paid for by the Committee to Elect Michelle Bachmann President).
When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in excess body fat & carrying a misspelled sign.
That rocked! Thanks!
Everyone is equally entitled to the pursuit of happiness. Wasn't that once self evident?
.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Noice.
But Santorum is a close runner up.
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob"
-= Franklin Delano Roosevelt =-
"eliminationist" too many syllables
By the Transitive Property Of Too Many Wives To Ever Be President.
I wonder if Newt will back stab these other jokers when he finally bows out. They certainly don't even acknowledge him.
It wasn't necessary to watch before submitting this evaluation (which is based on previous performances):
I wouldn't piss down her throat if her lungs were on fire.
.
Speaking of fire...has the free market put out the fires in Tejas yet?
Curious minds want to know...
paid for by the tirebiter for political solutions committee, sector 'r'!
when it comes to their healthcare might be the new angle Bachmann can shoot for. Women should have the right to make private decisions regarding their healthcare. It is a bit premature to go pro-choice in the primary however.
"When you're president -- as opposed the head of a private equity firm -- your job is not simply to maximize profits. Your job is to figure out how everybody in the country has a fair shot." - President Barack Obama
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