Bill Kristol Gets A War Boner

One of the many depressing aspects of Obama's horrific decision to start a third simultaneous war with a Muslim-majority nation is that it's providing endless pangs of pleasure to Bill Kristol. After all, America's Chickenhawk-in-Chief hasn't been

palpatine_kristol.jpg
One of the many depressing aspects of Obama's horrific decision to start a third simultaneous war with a Muslim-majority nation is that it's providing endless pangs of pleasure to Bill Kristol. After all, America's Chickenhawk-in-Chief hasn't been able to watch other people risk their asses invading a sovereign country since 2003 and he's just as thrilled and excited about this latest adventure as you'd expect him to be:

And so, despite his doubts and dithering, President Obama is taking us to war in another Muslim country. Good for him.

No, seriously. That's how Kristol actually starts out his column. Read it again:

And so, despite his doubts and dithering, President Obama is taking us to war in another Muslim country. Good for him.

It's hard for most of us to comprehend the sort of vile vampiric scumbag who relishes the thought of having his country go to war in three different countries at the same time, but that's pretty much how Bill Kristol rolls. I wonder what would happen if America successfully invaded the entire world -- whatever would Kristol do to pleasure himself? Perhaps he'd recommend sending our entire army into the depths of the Pacific Ocean to launch a long-overdue war against the lost city of Atlantis. Those shifty Mermen have had it coming for a long time, after all.

More:

The president didn’t want this. He’s been so unhappy about such a possibility—so fearful of such an eventuality—that first he tied himself in knots trying to do nothing. Then he decided that, if he had to act, it would be good to boast that he was merely following the Arab League and subordinating American action to the U.N. Security Council. After all, nothing—nothing!—could be worse than the perception that the United States was “invading” another Muslim country.

Yeah, where the hell did we get this stigma about "invading" Muslim countries from? It's not like anyone's ever died from such "invasions" before. Why, you'd think it was as bad as trying to give people health insurance!

In all seriousness, Kristol is just happy to be starting another war, since apparently the Afghanistan conflict has gotten so BOE-RING! The one downer for him is that Obama bothered to get the UN's permission to attack Libya rather than going all in and giving other countries the finger like Bush did. Kristol is at his absolute happiest when our country is both at war and defying the will of the international community. But he'll happily take the war all the same.

Rubbish. Our “invasions” have in fact been liberations.

They have liberated many people from their lives, yes.

We have shed blood and expended treasure in Kuwait in 1991, in the Balkans later in the 1990s, and in Afghanistan and Iraq—in our own national interest, of course, but also to protect Muslim peoples and help them free themselves. Libya will be America’s fifth war of Muslim liberation.

It's amazing that after five glorious wars, the Middle East isn't yet a mecca of sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and everything that's wonderful that I feel when we're together. But of course, there's always the option of starting a sixth war, which I'm sure will make everything better.

[T]he Reagan tradition—indeed, the Reagan-Bush-Dole-Bush-McCain tradition—in foreign policy isn’t a burden to be borne. It’s a tradition to be proud of. It’s rare that a political party gets to stand for more than a partial interest, for more than a limited point of view. It’s rare that a political party gets to stand for the national interest, for national greatness, for the exceptional American role in the liberation of peoples around the globe.

I'm amazed that Kristol can't type this crap without God coming down from the heavens, striking Kristol down with all manner of lightning and saying, "I didst err when I made thee, vile spawn of darkness!" In case Bill hasn't noticed, we're facing massive cuts to public education, to social safety net programs and even to services as basic as public street lights. And yet Kristol thinks we should sacrifice all of these things on his bloody altar of permanent warfare.

Thanks for aiding his agenda, Obama!

About Brad Reed

Comments

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.