The Obammunist Conspiracy To Sap And Impurify All Our Precious Manly Video Games

As video game nerds well know, this week marked the release of the eagerly anticipated Madden NFL 2011 for all major gaming consoles. The game has lo

obama_madden_a0405.jpgAs video game nerds well know, this week marked the release of the eagerly anticipated Madden NFL 2011 for all major gaming consoles. The game has long served as a sort of male-bonding ritual for American men, as those of us who aren't talented enough to play football in real life can live vicariously through a bunch of pixels on a screen

But uh-oh! It looks as though all is not well in Madden Land! For some dastardly programmer has inserted our Communist Muslim President into the post-Super Bowl victory celebration! Thankfully, Big Hollywood is on the case:

Madden NFL 11: Indoctrination, Obama Style

Many members of the radical left in this nation have spent every decade since the 1960s seeking positions of power and influence by which they might remake America in their own image. Such people are normally found in judicial positions, college professorships, cabinet posts or a director’s chair.

Well, shoot, then what the hell am I doing wrong with my life? The best I've got is an unpaid gig making fun of paranoid jackasses on a left-wing blog. Where's the commie gravy train for ol' Brad?

Occasionally, however, there arises a radical who is all these different things rolled into one: a progressive with a persona that enables him to influence adults and hold sway over the minds of children. A good example of this type of leftist is President Obama, who not only convinced a majority of adults to vote for him over Senator John McCain in 2008, but also used that same campaign season to appeal to children and younger voters by having his name advertised in video games. Since then, he has crafted presidential speeches aimed at America’s youngest generations (as when he gave a special speech to elementary school students which was broadcast throughout the public school system in the fall of 2009), and will be appearing in the soon-to-be-released Madden NFL 11.

Oh woe is us, for now we have seen the very depths of Obama's depravity: He wants to be liked by children! What sort of monster does such a thing?

That’s right: Obama’s image will be tucked into the scenes of one of the most popular video games available.

These attempts to make Obama’s face and message ubiquitous perfectly exemplify what the left always denies: that they are willing to use education and entertainment mediums to indoctrinate instead of educate. And as with all the other things Obama does, he is not placing his image everywhere by accident. Rather, he is doing so in order to saturate the minds of young Americans with a Hollywood-crafted caricature of “the messiah” who promises hope and change (but mainly change).

You know what's even worse? BARRACK HUSSEIN OBAMA EVEN MEETS WITH THE SUPER-BOWL WINNING TEAM AT THE WHITE HOUSE IN REAL LIFE!!!! Not only is he trying to virtually indoctrinate our youth through the all-mighty power of a ten-second video game cameo, but he's undermining America's manliness in the real world by shaking hands with our manly heroes! Look at poor Saints linebacker Scot Fujita -- he turned into a gay marriage supporter months before he even came into contact with Obama. What will become of poor Drew Brees -- will he convert to Islam???!!!

I believe Obama and his surrogates know that the generation that grows up under constant exposure to his image will more readily accept the kinds of policies Obama promotes. And while this is really just a new dance to the same old song, it fits perfectly into the schema that the left has been constructing for decades.

We worked for decades to get a pixelated Obama into a video game? Shoot, if only we'd spent more energy trying to give people health care instead.

Just as the generation that came of age during the 1980s did so under the tutelage of MTV, and the generation of the 1990s under that of late night television’s presentation of Bill Clinton as a hip saxophone player, so too the generation coming of age in the early 21st century does so with the constant presence of Obama. If they go to school, he is there in a speech. If they watch television, he is there striking an austere pose. And if they play a video game, his brand awaits them, and his face is there too (minus the cigarettes of course).

George Orwell couldn’t have planned it better.

There are times when I wish that Obama really was the insidious leftist mastermind that some on the right imagine him to be. Because if he were, then he'd probably figure out a way to lower the 9.5% unemployment rate or to boost his crappy polling numbers or to make sure the GOP doesn't retake Congress this fall. Or at least do something more significant than getting his face placed inside a damn video game.

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