Poor Ann Coulter: Where will all that venom go now?
By David Neiwert Wednesday Nov 26, 2008 1:30pm
Dear Ann Coulter:
No matter how tempting it might be, we're not going to be mean-spirited and all schadenfreude over your recent jaw wiring, like some people who are celebrating the fact that it apparently will shut you up for awhile.
For one thing, we've had friends who've had their jaws wired shut and it's a singularly unpleasant experience we wouldn't wish on anyone, not even miserable excuses for humanity for whom it might be a small piece of karmic justice. Getting your meals through a straw for months on end really, um, sucks.
And besides, we're not so foolish as to suppose that this will actually silence you. After all, you're at least as well known for the hateful, crazy crap you write as for the hateful, crazy things you say.
My guess, in fact, is that being denied a verbal outlet for your venom, you'll just pack that much more crazy into your writing. We can hardly wait.
In the meantime, we do hope that all that money you're making from in far-right investment scams is helping to pay for all this ...
Love, your friends at C&L
Login or Register to post comments.
Why is her jaw wired shut. Was it ordered by some far right judge or did someone jack her in the jaw and break it? Inquiring minds want to know.
I suspect she will claim that she was mugged near an ATM by an Obama supporter only to confess later that it was self inflicted to attract attention.
Who cares? All I know is, not having to listen to her for at least a couple of months is like Christmas coming early.
Perhaps her eating disorder got the better of her. She thinks she's too fat, but couldn't find a surgeon willing to do a stomach bypass.
She had a run-in with Sarah Palin, who told Ann she's much more popular than Ann. Of course that's like saying measles is more popular than chicken pox.
We don't know, do we, whether somebody deliberately socked her in the jaw?
Now who's gonna sing bass in the All Wingnut Glee Club?
When I heard this the 1st thing that popped into my mind was the scene from "The World According to Garp" with his wife giving the student a blowjob, except that instead of student, it was a donkey.
Her breasts?
God knows they need pumping up.
But I'm not volunteering to do so manually.
[Deleted. We are serious about not invoking the transgender thing, L&L. It wasn't just a one day restriction. It's bigotry, and I think you know how bad it feels to be on the receiving end of bigotry. Let's not do that to a whole community of people who have a row that's tough enough to hoe. Thank You-Sitemonitor]
if my attempt at humor hurt anyone...I only meant that situation at that evil woman Coulter.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
She'll just use sign language.
She's already learned to use the middle finger of both hands simultaneously.
Is that a Dream Catcher for sleep talkers?
Getting your meals through a straw for months on end really, um, sucks.
You can smoke a Newport through a straw?
I had my jaw wired shut in college, one of the best things that ever happened to me. I lost 10 pounds AND quit smoking at the same time. Probably added years to my life! You can suck the smoke in but it's not very fun blowing it out. Having your jaw wired shut really isn't that bad (unless you've had a terrible painful break, I guess). It's only for 10 weeks or so. I became a connoisseur of all things blended.
I sure am curious how Coultergeist broke her jaw. I fell off my bike.
You are far too kind!
Aw. Real shame, that.
Let's see:
9/11 widows are harpies? Check.
John Edwards is a faggot? Check.
Only complaint about the OK bombing was that Timothy McVeigh didn't blow up the NYT. Check check.
You're right, David. I send my best to Ms. Coulter...for a nice case of gangrene and permanent lock-jaw from tetanus due to, whoops, wiring that totally unsanitary mouth of hers.
p.s. GREAT pic you selected there!
You forgot the one about never seeing (9/11) widows enjoying their husband's deaths so much.
she deserves to burn in hell...a slow, lingering burn. That was one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard come out of any of these conservative asshole's mouths.
Ann "Ragheads" Coulter
about jews being the wrong religion or some such? Converted something or other. Damn...I can't recall. Anyone remember?
Well personally, I am going to indulge in a true schadenfreude fest. Maybe we will get lucky and all the hate and bile will build up inside until it reaches critical mass and she will self-destruct.
Maybe that's what's behind this.
Like the man said, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but if I HAD to pick someone to have their mouth wired shut, she's gotta be top 5.
After much consideration, I have decided that Ann Coultier wins my personal pick of most desirable person to have their mouth wired shut. If she really loves America, then her suffering is a small sacrifice for the good that it brings to the nation to not have to listen to her. It was a close race though. My personal top 10.
1. Ann Coultier
2. Rush Limbaugh
3. Sean Hannity
4. Bill O'Reilly
5. Michael Savage
6. Glenn Beck
7. Bill Kristol
8. Jonah Goldberg
9. Neal Boortz
10. Brit Hume
I know I am forgetting some worthy candidates. How about we wire them all, and use 1 wire? Would that be torture?
If they had any brains they would be human....
1. Ann Coultier
1. Rush Limbaugh
1. Sean Hannity
1. Bill O'Reilly
1. Michael Savage
1. Glenn Beck
1. Bill Kristol
1. Jonah Goldberg
1. Neal Boortz
1. Brit Hume
I was going to suggest that Limbaugh should go first. But then I realized that all you have to do to occupy his mouth is to dangle a bottle of hillbilly heroin in front of it. (*Swaggers head* "And THAT'S as far as I'm going to go with THAT train of thought.)
One wire ineffective, two wires (and an ignition coil) good...
But this would be lowering ourselves to their gutter level, so wrong.
She never talked out of her face anyway ;)
"her" jaw gets broken and its not on tape?
booo!
ann is just going to have to moan out her lies for a little while.
well, here's to hoping that when medved gets his ass kicked someone films it.
[that picture was too funny. although, the model is attractive, unlike ann]
[Edited-Sitemonitor]
I think that's wishful thinking. She can still TYPE, you know. :)
And if she keeps at it long enough, maybe she'll figure out how to write.
If you mean "write her OWN material," I'm not sure I agree.:)
oh, ooops. Sorry Ann 'forgot. You CAN'T TALK!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA
BWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I didn't know she had a "bone structure" like the typical carbon-based life forms on this side of the hellmouth.
Hopefully she'll be able to blend up the fecal matter and fetal puppies that make up her diet.
She just got tired of looking like a horse.
Hah!
I know that Ann is going through some tough times but I actually think she's looking better than normal - more human and lifelike somehow.
Too bad it wasn't her neck, then Christopher Reeve might have a nice laugh up in heaven. Just desserts, sweetie.
Perhaps it tried to swallow a rat that was too large for its jaws. And that's pretty difficult considering how they're able to disjoint them while feeding and all....
or thinking about it, was Anne Coulter trying out for the lead role !?
I don't WANT her to shut up! She's the perfect face for the conservative movement. Sure, I wish people would stop paying her seven figures a year to go on these speaking engagements just so college students can throw pies at her. But I'd love for her to get her own TV show where she can spew reactionary venom, and make all the other conservatives look like shrill, bigotted creeps.
No sympathy from me whatsoever, couldn't happen to a more appropriate person...
I did that for hours a day before the election. Now that we won, I don't give a rat's ass what those morons say. Remember: THEY LOST.
Don't waste your time unless it's your blog :)
That was supposed to be a reply to the gentleman below who requested assistance dealing with wingnuts elsewhere.
I lost about 30 lbs, when I had my jaws wired. Thinking "what if that were to happen to Ann?" Hawking's theory on black body radiation emitted by black holes popped into my head. Despite the fact that black holes suck up everything useful and good in the universe including light while wreaking havoc in their celestial communities they will theoretically evaporate from black body radiation if they have no source mass upon which to feed on (which is called a dormant black hole).
Since Ann has been mostly dormant lately, and this latest event will deprive her of even organic sustenance, beyond the absence of the vitriol which was her primary energy source, there is the hope, how ever slight, that the Coulter singularity could radiate into non-existence. The length of time for a black hole with the mass of 5 suns to evaporate is 40 billion years, but we can hope that since the Coulter body has significantly less mass that it will take far less time.
finally insult the wrong person?
Although I detest violence, some people might evoke that kinda karma.
Too bad it is not on video.
Annie broke her jaw? Maybe she slipped in someone's blood.
Hey, I think we all fee the same about Ann Coulter. But "miserable excuse for humanity" and half of the comments here -- could we please set the bar above dehumanization?
Hate to rain on the parade, and I know we all endure a lot of this woman's words and spirit, but it's just beneath this forum.
...she'll CHOKE on that venom.
Someone would take away her keyboard, then we would be spared her venom and bile.
Cant Understand Normal Thinking
Ann Coulter: Suck shit through a straw and die.
...how's she gonna feed on the blood of the living with her jaw wired shut? Through a straw, maybe?
Obama wins the election, and the country shifts left again.
Ann Coulter's big mouth is shut, wired shut.
No, I am not going to be big about it. I am glad her jaw is broken, she is going through pain and I hope it's a long time in healing. Maybe then she remember what she said about the 911 widows. Yes, I am bitter and proud of it.
Government has not governed, it has ruled and plundered.
There won't be a lot of pity for them, except from the PissStreamMedia.
There will be no silence until they wire shut her ass. She speaks mostly out of it.
If there is any justice, it will keep building and building and eventually that pretty(?!!) little blond head will explode!! Poof, no more Ann Coulter!
Ann Coulter describes herself as a "provocateur." People (and this site) will eventually learn that if you don't pay attention to her, she'll go away.
Ok Poor Ann. I don't make this stuff up I only read it.
I did not slam the lid down while she was drinking water!
Having a jaw wired shut isn't funny, guys! If Ann doesn't keep spewing the venom out, it just might dissolve her tongue!
Too bad she'll have to drink her turkey and dressing tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
God having a larf.
Should the illustration not carry the caption, "Ann Coulter (not exactly as illustrated.)?
a bit of real karma for that hateful, spiteful anorexic blowhard.
(Oops, a bit too strong? I think not.)
Frankly, her misfortune may be the thinking public's gain.
I'm sorry but I can't help enjoying the delicious irony of this. It really could not have happened to a more worthy candidate. I realise it is in very bad taste, but how fucking funny is this? I'd be glad to padlock that maw myself. Anyone of any political stripe as unfunny and unfair as this woman should have thier mouths wired shut, I could name some pundits on the left but I won't.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm sorry, was that in poor taste - Hows it feel Ann?
Whoever she pissed off didn't finish the job. Should've broken her fingers so she can't type. Talk about doing things halfway. Sheesh!!
Now make Rush explode by taking his oxycotin and viagra and we might actually have peace on earth for the holiday season.
once she's unwired, she'll forever screech in long island lockjaw. we'll be sorry then.
hi y'all, & happy T-day!
I'm commemorating an anniversary, and i think that this would be as good a place as any to write about it.
Thirty years ago today, at age 13,
I broke my upper jaw & nose doing a faceplant off the front of a dirtbike.
Hit so hard that my upper jaw was pushed in about a quarter inch,
and it was 5/6 of the way detached from the rest of my skull.
Spent six weeks with my jaw wired shut.
(got so desperate for normal food that I had my folks put a pizza in a foodprocessor for me to drink).
Changed my life in some significant ways.
Re: Coultergeist, I'm having difficulty mustering schadenfreude at the moment.
I would much rather see her metaphorically getting her jaw broken in some sort of televised "At long last, have you no decency?!?" moment.
In my world, *that* would be a pleasant outcome :-)
Centaur,
I can see where you are coming from with your sympathy. However, Coulter had numerous "Have you no decency?" moments on TV. They were metaphors of a broken jaw. You can find some of them on YouTube. Consequently, she suffered by networks refusing to include her in some programs, reduced book sales, fewer speaking engagements, and declining popularity. She is clever enough to reinvent herself. The opposition party out of power has the luxury of being sideline hecklers even though they should roll up their sleeves and work cooperatively with the party in power.
Remember, she may not be able to speak for a while but she can still type.
Remember this too. The story about her jaw being wired hasn't been confirmed. It might be a publicity stunt.
TypicalProgressive,
It's not that I feel sympathy for her,
only that I take no joy in knowing that she suffers
(if indeed it is the case she has broken her jaw).
"Coulter had numerous "Have you no decency?" moments on TV."
now that i can dig on :-)
Here's whut Chesbomb said 10-11-07 over at Digg:
"if i was ever within 100 feet of this woman, i would have an extremely hard time not running up and punching her directly in the face."
Friends, I believe we have our HERO!
Login or Register to post comments.