The Kindness of Strangers
The next day I received an email from a reader with a donation. The day after that, four vintage Coke glasses arrived on my doorstep from a long-time blog friend and reader.
My then-14 year old daughter decorated the living room while I was out trying to scrounge up some money and left me a note telling me to get over it and get some spirit, since it wasn't the money that mattered.
Those gestures really turned around my whole outlook. How could they not? The kindness of strangers and family alike pulled me out of my funk and pridefest into a realization that money mattered less than the relationships I was (and am) fortunate enough to have. So with that, I share this story with you.
Last week, Jenny "The Bloggess" offered $30 gift cards to people who needed them. From there, her effort snowballed into something bigger than all of us.
In the past few days that post has gotten over 500 comments and so many heart-breaking requests were from people who need a small hand-up to buy food for Christmas dinner or from people who are planning on telling their children that there is no Santa because otherwise they wouldn’t understand why he didn’t come. You can’t read the comments and not ache a little because so many of us have either been there or see how easy it would be to be in their position one day. But here’s the amazing thing…every time someone would leave a comment asking for help someone else would leave a comment asking to help. And that’s why as of Friday morning, every single person who asked for help here is matched up with at least one person who will be sending them a gift card. In fact, so many people offered to help that we were able to give out multiple gift cards to people who had a greater need. And when things seemed dicey and I was about to call for an end to comments a wonderful man emailed me and told me that he’s so enjoyed the community on this blog that he wanted to donate $1000, no questions asked.
That was only the beginning. From her Sunday update:
I still have another hundred emails to mail out before I can go to sleep but it looks like well over 800 gift cards will be sent out if everything goes through as planned.
People have contributed in (and have been helped in) America, Canada, England, Germany, Australia, Asia…and they continue to help. Every time we get down to our last donor someone else steps forward. I wish I could share all the emails from people who felt that this gave them the hope to get through the next year and the strength to keep looking for a job or a place to work because they now had faith that people cared. There were even some who admitted later that they were considering suicide until this gave them hope. Some of those people considering suicide? Were the donors.
This phenomenon will not be something that's repeated. It springs from people needing to give and others needing to receive. It is the spontaneity of the thing that makes it so special. Not a program, not a charity, just people reaching out to others.
As you will see from her post and the comments, it doesn't touch even the edge of the needs out there, but it at least gives people an opportunity to cross a bridge and help those who need help most. It is hope that encourages me most: hope even for a small gesture.
I hope your holidays are warm, bright, and offer a similar opportunity to reach or be reached.
Update: Here is her final update on the post. $39,000 $40,000 donated to 450 people. Wow.
Final tallies: Over 900 gift cards were sent out by 683 people who were so thrilled to help. 435 people who needed small Christmas miracles received small donations for medicine, food and presents under the tree for their children. No large corporations got involved. No one only offered to donate if they got something out of it themselves. With no sponsorships, no ulterior motives and with only a simple need to reach out and help a perfect stranger 683 everyday, normal people (Jewish, Christians, Atheists, Muslims and more) sent out over $39,000 worth of donations to make sure Christmas came.
At this time of year, who can fail to understand the wish to forget all the woes and fiascos of our time, and to retreat into the cozy firelit nooks of Christmas, where a pint or so of grog, or egg-nog, or even seven fingers of Williams 'Lectric Shave in an empty jam jar might avail to wash away the frightening specters of debts, and banks, and, trade imbalances, and countries with economies composed mostly of losses?
What a nice boost to get through the rest of this week!
Put a smile on my face.
And evidently she's up to $39,000 in donations. Amazing outpouring. Love it.
Makes you wonder about all the millions of acts of kindness lost to history, in times of need, between the most humble of people.
Kind of makes my anger towards the people deliberately immiserating us grow even stronger.
Thanks for this post. Last year, my holiday sucked, too, but one day, I received an email from the blog I write for, telling me there was a Paypal donation in my account. It certainly made Christmas a little more merry.
This year, I'm doing temp work for an agency that provides counseling to youth and their families. For the past two weeks, I've been coordinating with agencies donating food, and Christmas presents to families who would not otherwise be able to provide their children with Santa visits, and it's so heart-warming to be a part of it - I've planned to be working with the volunteer part next holiday season and the one after that...
Just when our Congress can demonstrate how to be Scrooge - the basic milk of human kindness flows within others, and that's what I have to remember. Merry Christmas!
What a great job to have during the holidays. Sad that we need to do this, but it makes me happy that we are.
My son and I are spending Christmas in the dark and cold here in Tennessee. We can't even afford to pay a $168 electric bill and the utility company has no compassion. My son is autistic and does not understand, but i told him we will have it back on by the 31st. And maybe next year will be better. To top it off...I found out my mother has lung cancer...stage 4. They turn off the electric tomorrow morning...the van is out of gas and there are no presents, but my son and I are survivors. Merry Christmas to everyone!
I found this link to Tennessee charity assistance for utility bills...have you tried it? http://liheap.ncat.org/profiles/Tenn.htm#char...
Hi Karoli,
Yes, I have tried Project help..they say they are out of money to help people. Thanks for trying though.
...or I would try to find a way to help.
I hope a friend or neighbor can at least get your kid a little something so he can get a little joy.
Merry Xmas, and hope things are better for you soon.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
Thank you angel Karoli
And a very, very Merry Christmas to you.
Karoli is the true meaning of an angel. She not only saved our Christmas, but maybe even our lives...it's getting cold again. My son says it is the best present ever and all he really wanted. I have to agree. The Kindness of Strangers....it certainly is a true and heartfelt article. My son has already said when he gets money he is going to help someone else too, so Karoli inspired my son and myself. I do not believe I have ever gotten a present that had repercussions for happiness. Electric means heat, hot water and lights. And it also saved what little food we had for Christmas from going bad. And it calmed my son down almost immediately, which is a gift in itself.
I will never be able to express how grateful we are...for the Kindness of a Stranger. Thank you so much...and Merry Christmas!
...is the best gift ever. I suspect more magic will happen for him before the holidays are over.
How awesome Karoli---and too bad these wonderful gestures are mostly overlooked in our media's stampede to deliver endless stories of misery, trivialaties about shallow minded people, and exhortations to buy everything in sight.
"We will find fulfillment not in the goods that we have, but in the good we can do for each other."
Robert F. Kennedy
When it's too late for anyone to help anyone else. That's why I wanted to write on it now...because maybe there are others out there who can do something for people locally and might be inspired to try.
in all likelihood next year isn't going to be better. I'll bet 2011 will probably be The Year of the all out attack on middle class pensions and whatever else is left in the public piggy banks - trust funds, while continuing to pit workers against each other (cheap labor) as outsourcing and off shoring continues and is marketed as "Taking Personal Responsibility" after you've been looted of everything.
The Plutocracy loves an opposition that is weak and divided and fighting against each other. And doesn't even have a clue as to what is being done to them.
There is a man I work with who has never really had a nice thing to say to me. He is on extended sick leave this winter due to a heart attack. Personally I don't care for him either but I will not begrudge someone a decent meal at Christmas. If anyone knows the Christmas Carol Good King wenceslas it is my favourite. I have been the peasant and now fortunate to be the king(scrooge). So dickens like I made arangements to have a turkey delivered to him anonamously to him. May all who are down on their luck find some act of kindness this christmas season.
Merry Christmas to All
What a generous and kind thing to do.
Oops
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
you have dropped B of A!
Not that any of the others are much better.
my local bank is OK too. I can use an ATM anywhere and they will remove the fee. Also, free checking accounts. And I can walk to a branch and even though I had allot of problems when I first opened the account, the local manager was great about fixing everything and crediting back wrong charges, etc. But, coastal Maine very small city with two competitors within a block, so reputation matters.
I used to work for Bank of America.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQ-gsEZZ7c
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
As someone who's also found the last couple of holiday seasons difficult to bear -- even though there's some comfort to be had in the knowledge that I'm far from being the only one -- stories like this one and the one a week or so ago about the Second City That Never Sleeps offer a ray of hope and beauty in what should be a happy time yet which for many only serves as yet another painful reminder of what's happening in our homes, our country, and our world. It's stories like this which reflect what Christmas should be about rather than the orgy of overindulgence which it's been allowed to become.
Never trust anyone who insists that patriotism requires you to blindfold yourself with the flag.
I have come to understand that there will always be need, and always someone who can use a little help to reach the next step. But I cannot recall a time where so many need so much. It's nice to see such an outpouring for those in need.
Instead of the usual measured gift-giving (family, close friends got highest priority/most effort, less for acquaintences, etc), I would pick one person from "down the list" whom I might have just sent a card. Then I'd go over and above what they were expecting. They and their family all got things they would not have expected. I just included a note to the person not to reciprocate; it was just their "lucky day."
Wish I could afford to do things like that again...
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
And when they do, they'll be that much more cherished. 2 years ago I thought I'd never be able to do anything for anyone again. After all, I was always the giver. Always. It was what I did. Having it turned around me like that was incredibly depressing and sad, until I realized exactly how much joy it gave others to be the ones giving.
My name is Richard Cleary, known here as obiwan. I am a long time C&L subscriber.
My wife of 16 years, Jackie, died on Friday. Also, I recently had to kick out my brother. We had planned a big Christmas dinner.
I have a 9 pound spiral sliced ham and all the trimmings and I had planned to make a big holiday dinner.
Since I am all alone now and have all this food, those of you who need a good holiday dinner and are all alone are welcome to come over to my house because I am a real good cook.
I live in the Norwalk California area (a suburb of LA) and can accomodate up to 4 people. If you don't mind a real messy house we can have dinner on the back patio.
Please don't rip me off because I am really poor and there's nothing here to take anyway.
Here's my email: rcleary562[at]charter[dot]net. Email me and we can talk about it.
Merry Christmas!
[Richard, I disguised your email address so the bots don't pick it up and deluge you with spam. My condolences on your loss-Sitemonitor]
Many hugs and prayers to you. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas dinner with some people who read this comment, and out of that, find new friends, purpose and joy.
I'm really sorry for your loss. Makes me reevaluate how tough a road I thought I have.
I'm in Lakewood, right around the corner from you. I'm staying with friends there, so I really don't need food, but if you want someone to talk at, we can get together. I'll send you an email.
Ken.
"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."
---Southwest Airlines
It's a;ways hardest to lose a loved one around the holidays. Bless you for sharing with your neighbors. I hope your kindness and generosity returns to you a hundredfold.
.
but she's funny as all getout, too.
http://thebloggess.com/
Go and give her some love. But watch out for James Garfield.
I met her at BlogHer 08 at a party. She's the type of person who commands attention without even trying...somewhat larger than life with a heart of gold. I cried when she lost her pug earlier this year and laugh on a near-daily basis at her ability to make real life funny.
That's the face of a dog who's seen his owner undressing on too many occasions.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
That's what she looks like most of the time, but especially when I dare put a hat on her.
Been a hard day for me. The local non-profit I work at may be shutting it's doors. I spent the morning working with volunteers getting Toys for Tots gifts wrapped for our holiday party in a few days, the whole time knowing that this could all be going away. Things look bad and I thought about all the great relationships I have made while working here. I sat down to take a break and read C&L and I had to hide my tears from the people working around me as I read this post. The human heart knows no limits of capacity for kindness and love. I will be O.K. and the people I work with will be O.K.. We will endure! Happy Holidays to one and all.
and so sorry it's been a tough day. Seems so unfair that December is the month where decisions get made about next year's funding, etc. and the holidays. like being slammed all at once.
What a great warm fuzzy feeling I get from hearing about this generosity. People can be really awesome.
I had been following on Twitter, for election commentary, and had meant to stop, after the election, but I hadn't somehow. Then your world crashed, and I was shy and quiet, and didn't know what to say or if it was even appropriate to comment. But your pain made me cry, when I don't often cry like that. No, really. I don't. Your frustration was just so real.
Then those coke glasses appeared, and it made me cry more... It's odd that I remember it with all the tweets that have flown past since then, but I do.
This year, I've been following Jenny for just a few months or so. I'm less shy and quiet, but still, I wasn't quite sure what to think of her other than that I adored her sense of humor, especially that darn boar's head.
Then, this gift card thing came along. And dammit, she made me cry. She was supposed to make me laugh, and she made me cry.
Now you've made me cry all over again.
I hope I keep finding people like you, and Jenny, who unexpectedly make me cry, for all the right reasons.
Thank you. For everything.
I'm so glad you are still following, and remember that. Those were such dark days, but here I am on the other side, still hopeful and still seeing silver linings. I believe Jenny's work will help others not only on the short term, but also to restore their faith in others' generosity and humanity.
:D
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust.
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