August 26, 2016

This story takes place in Texas, of damn course.

There’s a semi-famous steakhouse in San Antonio known as the Little Red Barn Steakhouse. Their employees wear fake guns and holster because … I dunno, it seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.

During the lunch hour, a table of men got plenty riled up when the waiter screwed up their order. The rest of the event was handled in customary Texas fashion. There are just no words to tell this story properly, so I’ll steal some from the teevee station that covered it.

“The customers mentioned that he messed up their order, so when the waiter went to the side to step back, one of the customers got loose and started beating on the waiter,” the witness said.

She added that the waiter was able to get away and returned with a gun.

“All I saw was a black gun, cocked it back, went up in the air and shot,” the witness recalled.

The scene after that was described as “pandemonium,” instead of the more familiar Texas description of, “damn goat rodeo.” A witness speaks —

“There was old ladies on the floor, one in the back actually crying,” she noted. “It was scary.”

Yes, old ladies crying often scare me, too.

It just doesn’t get any worse than that, does it? Most Texans I know would just get under a table or behind the bar and take their steak with them.

The waiter and the customers left the scene immediately. I kinda suspect they went over to Clyde’s Ice House and Cantina to get some more beer.

But here’s the part that even you people from foreign states will love —

Police say that all of them could face charges, and the waiter could lose his job since the restaurant told KENS 5 that it’s against company policy for employees to carry guns.

The waiter “could” lose his job. He could. He won’t, ya know. This is Texas, Honey.

Crossposted at

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