Midterms are looming, polls are plummeting, war is raging, and the people inside Trump's State Department are at each other's throats.
According to new private messages obtained by POLITICO, Deputy Secretary of State Christopher Landau and State Department special envoy Paolo Zampolli have been in a pissing match, constantly trading jabs and insults, for going on a year now, with Landau repeatedly accusing Zampolli, who just so happens to claim to be the matchmaker between Donald and Melania Trump, of failing to "stay in his lane."
"I am hereby ordering you—once again—to immediately stop all work on ANY issues not directly tied to cultural diplomacy, including every one of the issues you mentioned in your recent emails," a November 2025 email from Landau to Zampolli read. "You have no authority to engage in ANY issues of foreign policy outside of cultural diplomacy, including all the issues you have named.”
By the next day, Landau was doubling down in the same email chain, copying another 15 administration colleagues into his new message, where he wrote that Zampolli had "no intention of staying in the cultural diplomacy lane that you were assigned and accepted, and that you fully intend to continue undertaking unauthorized and possibly unlawful ventures in commercial and economic matters."
Zampolli gave his response straight to POLITICO, saying, "Definitely, he has a problem with me," speaking of Landau. "It’s out of control what he’s doing, and I serve at the pleasure of the president of the United States of America. The only person that can give me this job and can terminate me is the president of America."
Zampolli currently serves as the U.S. special representative for global partnerships. His primary objective is to “represent the United States at global cultural events and to form global cultural partnerships.”
Landau is certainly correct in that Zampolli takes a particularly broad interpretation of his job duties, and just a quick glance at his Instagram page will prove as much.
Zampolli has fired back at his State Department mortal enemy, accusing Landau of leaking to the New York Times with a story that Zampolli claims "caused irreparable harm to the First Lady and to my family."
He is almost assuredly referring to the March Times report that claimed Zampolli had asked ICE to detain and deport his ex-girlfriend so he could win his custody battle over their son.
In response to that accusation, Landau wrote back, "Your threats and accusations are getting more and more bizarre, defamatory, and inappropriate for broad dissemination on email. I have no idea what you are talking about and categorically deny being the source of anything."
One official described the pair's ongoing catfight as "cartoonish and embarrassing," and, frankly, I couldn't agree more.
This is why Canada laughs at us.
