Fire!
By John Amato Tuesday Dec 18, 2007 7:45pm
Thankfully nobody was hurt. Yea, this has "satire" written all over it.
Firefighters quickly doused a two-alarm fire Wednesday in the historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building, which houses the vice president's ceremonial offices and the majority of the White House staff.
The fire started near the vice presidential offices, CNN's Kathleen Koch reported.
At its peak, heavy black smoke streamed from the building.
Watch smoke pouring from building »
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Paper shreaders must have broken down. These guys will spend the next year destroying the evidence.
was bush holding a torch to cheney's ass for somemore of his famous brain farts?
Seeking revenge for what Bush has done to his party the Ghost of Eisenhower returns from the grave and brings hell with him.
Damn you shared humanity, Frist! and the gist of my comment...
It was David Addington, with the crack pipe, in the men's room.
Even industrial sized shredders overheat...
Can't blame this one on the Pitchforks and Torches Society.
We don't need no water let the Mother Fucker Burn!.....Burn Mother Fucker! BURN!
Here's a fire of a different sort:
http://www.rawstory.com/news/mochila/Paul_keeps_white_supremacist_donati...
Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC = KKK, ha-ha, get it?), one of Bush's favorite groups, with prominent leader MS Governor Haley Barbour. Why not keep $500 from a worldclass racist? Millions brought in -- Ron Paul says he is having trouble spending it all -- HOW MUCH OF THAT IS JUST LIKE THIS $500?
probably happened when the VP tried to torch the White House visitor logs and copies of the CIA Torture tapes at the same time....
what a change. With the bush family, its usually all smoke and never fire. This time there was fire too.
The first thing I thought when I heard it on the radio:
"Shredding is too slow........"
My first thought on hearing the story this morning was that Cheney must have decided shredding everything was simply taking too long....
Just a couple of days after a court orders that visitor records must be made public.
How very convenient.
What's the betting they went up?
Clearly Medical Diagnosis by Video is operating on the same cynical wavelength! :)
I guess Cheney busted the paper shreader again, and had to fall back on bonfires to get rid of his numersous incriminating paper trails.
Started near Cheney's office, so the paper shredder overheating theory holds water.
If the writers weren't on strike, they would've been able to knock off early today.
Looks like their most recent offering to Bealzebub went wrong. YOu have to have the protection spell BEFORE summuning the devil. Sheeesh...morons cant even get their satan worship rites right...
Paul in LA @ 9:
The CCC is the clearest link between Conservatives and Racism.
after 7 years, arson was the only crime left that bush had not committed. until today.
Bill @ 14:
Don't worry. According to the new Homeland Security policy, the firefighters are allowed to snoop around in there while they're putting out the fire, and report any "un-American" documents and reading material. I'm sure they got an EYE FULL when they entered Cheney's dank lair.
Stewart and Colbert have got to be crying themselves to sleep every night. Such great free material and they just have to sit on the side lines and watch. So sad, oh well at least we have the new Mac vs PC ads to laugh at.
Oh my god, where's the Constitution !?
Does this remind anybody ELSE of that 'bustout' scene from GOODFELLAS, when they set fire to the restaurant to get rid of the evidence, and collect the insurance money, or is it just me?
The Imp, Cheney, got back from his "undisclosed location" and forgot to close his access door to hell.
Justice Dept Refuses To Attend Congressional Hearing On Halliburton Rape Cases
More women report sexual harassment or assaults while working for KBR/Halliburton in Iraq
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jSljVWkGbW8pTmFMhIdc0B6qCgagD8TKQ2Q00
tr @ 21:
hahaha. Cheney checks off the last crime in his memo pad. Mission accomplished.
Pericles @ 22:
Priceless pericles, absolutely priceless!!
Amato-
ROFLMAO!!!
That is the funniest thing I've ever seen ya write! :D
Shared Humanity @ 1:
that was the first thing I thought of! that, or the shreaders couldn't keep up with the backlog.
I thought no matter can escape the black hole of Cheney's gravitational pull, must be Hawking radiation.
This is the ulitmate of metaphors here and is too funny.
And they said Clinton trashed the White House!!! These nuts are going to burn it down!!!
PS Don't forget what Christopher Dodd did for America. He stood up for the people of this country and for the Constitution. He showed true leadership while others were triangulating and calculating. He stood up for us, let's stand up for him. We need this kind of leadership in Washington.
It's quite telling when we all hear of a fire in the EEOB and think 'They're burning documents'.
Is it going to take Cheney 17 hours to sober up before we hear anything from him?
One picture is worth a thousand redacted words.
Lying while sitting can be politically and physically hazardous.
Members of Al Qaeda breached the security at Eisenhower Executive Office Building and took Dick Cheney and unknown number of White House staffs as hostage with the demand for the release of prisoners at Quantanamo Bay and $100 million US dollars. The terrorists threaten to douse Dick Cheney and the White House staffs with gasoline and set them ablaze to burn alive if their demands are not met. Due to the Bush Administration's standing policy of no negotiation with known terrorists, several volunteers frantically gathered outside the compound began to solicit donations from drivers and passengers who were stunned by the sight of bellowing black smoke. So far, the volunteers appeared to be inspired and boasted to have successfully collected a total of 91.1 gallons.
This is what happens when ya let reenactors of the War of 1812 do their thing unsupervised.
I would advise anyone livin' in the vicinity of Fort McHenry to run fer cover.
EEOB History Fact of the Week
December
The Building Superintendent's quarterly report in December 1900, reported that crews spent thirteen days drilling holes in the granite walls to support the cable of the War Department's new telephone system, and they drilled and tapped holes in the iron work in the War Department Library for the new telephone system.
The birth of electronic eavesdropping?
Well, at least now we know what they have been smoking.
Guess cheney's shredder caught fire. Or maybe they aren't even trying to shred, but just burning the incriminating documents.
As someone who lived in DC more than eight years i will have to say i am happy the fire did not destroy the building (or injure anyone.) Even though this is not my favorite building in the city, Washington is beautiful and i would hate to lose any of it. If any shenanegans are at the root of this fire...
Funny how our first thought when we heard this story was document destruction. That is the kind of President we have in office. Shame on us.
( I know, I know, we don't want him but there he sits.)
Cheney stole the Giant Owl from Bohemian Grove and is having his own private Cremation of Care ritual.
subtitle/byline: are pelosi and reid fiddling too while Rome burns?
or was it Darth who was fiddling around in that room?
and what actually went up in smoke....i mean besides a bunch of videotapes and top top secret documents they wanted to destroy several years ago.....
I believe the Dick Cheney is the one who started the fire. I've heard Ed Schultz or earlier today imitate and Dick Cheney telling George Bush how got rid the of the evidence.
so when there's white smoke that means we have a new vice president right?
wait... maybe that's the pope...
Okay, here's some good satire here..
I love Andy Borowitz.
Did anyone notice the skull-like image in the smoke? It is looking off to the right, and its chin comes to a point almost right between the 2 columns.
Is that photo-shopped, a la the "demon" in the twin towers smoke?
meth lab.
I wonder if there were any video tapes or government correspondence burned "by mistake".
So sad.
And now all the servers gone.
Six years of carefully collected Emails.
What A shame.
Well, with all the hot air coming out of there for the last seven years, I'm not surprised.
Back to Yedi class for some light saber lessons..
My first thought was that after all the years of lying, Cheney's pants finally experienced spontaneous combustion...
I think it was overworked, oveheated paper shredders..
StirFry @ 24:
calm down, folks, it was only the Constitution that went up in flames in that room.
no great loss since no one in DC has used it in years anyways.....
Before.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/eeobtour/photos/present/index-js.html
After.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/white-house-fire-forces-mass-evacuation...
Gee I hope no important or otherwise *ahem* "incriminating" documents were destroyed.
Nah...
mam @ 13:
The Vice President happened to be in a meeting with the President this morning. Yeah, and I wonder if Miss "Impeachment is off the table" Pelosi and her pal "Stand and don't deliver" Reid were breathing a sigh of relief because now, they don't have to ruin their holiday breaks wondering if they still might have to hold someone in this administration accountable. Burned files = no proof...and thanks to the MSM this will disappear quicker than the bullet fragments Cheney blasted into his "friend."
"Waack. This damn shredder won't take these papers fast enough. Addington give me some damn matches, waaak!"
"But, Mr Vice President maybe we..."
"Go f%#k yourself. Give me those goddamn matches, waaack!"
"What's wrong with this stuff, the goddamn paper won't light."
"Sorry Mr Vice President, it's all this bullshit we store here for Dana, it's made the paper damp."
"Damnit Addington, go down to the kitchen and get a blow torch, waaack."
"Waaack, just a minute, rip the cord out of that lamp over there and make a spark with the bare wires. I saw it in the CIA's Best of 2004 DVD."
"But sir..."
"Don't 'but sir' me you goddamn clown. Take your coat off and use it as kindling, and hurry up, don't forget to burn that picture of me with Abramoff."
How long did that fire burn?
How come the building didn't collapse? Afterall, we've been told that when buildings are on fire for only a short time, they come crashing to the ground at free fall speed.
Go back to sleep now.
I heard that the Secret Service kept the fire inspectors out afterward. Any confirmation of this?
It is convenient that now they can say that the documents were lost in a fire. Losing documents in an "accidental" fire is not illegal and prove that it was set on purpose.
"Sorry fire marshal, you don't have security clearance to investigate this crim... I mean accident"
Truth B Told @ 61:
Oh, yes...I nearly forgot. Why, that building shouldn't have fallen, and then all of the others in the capitol should have collapsed at 5:30pm today..you know...due to debris from Cheney's offices flying through the air and hitting all of the other buildings, thus causing structural failure and then ultimate collapse. Call NIST right away...please!
Cheney's old buddy Beelzebub paid him an unexpected visit. No big deal.
The black smoke, or at least not white smoke, seems to indicate that we don't have a new president yet.
Krap.
The fireman would have gotten the fire out quicker, but Cheney's staff had to get the fireman's views on abortion, then have them sign a injury waver and a loyalty oath before going in the building.
Double krap. Someone did that joke before me.
"A top insider let that slip when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of FART jokes. He's also known to CUT A FEW for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides, but forget about getting people to GAS about that."
U.S.News & World Report, 8/20/06
I guess it was inevitable. Bush and Cheney, screwin' around and attempting to ignite George's farts, and the resulting fireball almost burns the place to the ground. By any chance was George seen later today with a hole burned through the seat of his trousers?
In a desperate attempt to raise his sagging support ratings, president [sic] bush ordered associates to set fire to the historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building, in the hope of rekindling memories of 9/11. Very few onlookers showed up to witness the fire. The bush administration is at a loss as to why the American people showed little to no interest in this event which, according to the administration, should have brought the nation together behind the president.
This makes me wonder how they've been able to keep their pants from bursting into flames all these years. Cheney must've been drunk and forgot to put on his flame retardant pants before he started talking.
Ha, I am LOVING these comments! Pure, unadulterated, comedic gold.
***** THE FIRE MYSTERY HAS BEEN SOLVED!!! *****
Just-released police surveillance photograph: The guy to the right in the photo below was seen running through the building just before the incident, yelling "Fire! Fire!!! Heh heh heh heh....Fire! FIRE!!! Heh heh heh..."
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushhead.htm
I MISS JON STEWART!!!
Shadowgm @ 34:
No problem, it was just just inadequate wiring. When the office was built, they never anticipated needing so much amperage for defibrillation equipment, pacemakers and artificial hearts.
How is it, in a building housing some of the nation's most important documents and business (well, a stretch here) there are apparently no adequate fire alarms or fire suppression systems?
The fire reportedly started in a telephone switching room. A room of electrical equipment without a heat/smoke detector and an automatic halon extinguisher? Fires like this start small and spread quickly, but can be detected and stopped with proper equipment.
This is either another example of the total incompetence of this maladministration or there's some skank afoot as usual. Or, both.
Too easy.
They'd better secure Cheney's oxygen tanks, or the whole place is gonna blow!
I was just going to say....it must've been in the file room....where all the important documents are.............accident????.....for some reason I have my doubts......what happened to the smoke detectors and fire sprinklers.....it is law to have both of those in a commercial building...
My last entry.
When it comes to Warming: Think Globally; Act Locally!
they were just having their annual book burning festival.......they just did it inside...to keep warm.
Cheney's staff has probably spent days shredding the WH Visitor Logs and who knows what else. I seem to recall a similar incident, but on a smaller scale, during the Fawn Hall/Ollie North days.
Maybe this was a deliberate attempt to burn evidence, and of course make it look like an accident. Am I the only one who's considered that possibility? I wouldn't put anything past Bush and Cheney.
Cheney must of forgotten to close the gates of Hell after he left the room last time he was in there. Memory loss, it's bound to happen at his age.
Dammit! Who left the popcorn in the microwave unattended????
I have this image of Cheney standing outside, staring at the burning building, humming a little old tune in his head.
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU FIRE!!!
This one is going out to all of the young folks.............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8&feature=related
Was any brimstone found? Maybe God is now disavowing any previous contact with either boob. Only 397 days left.
Just getting rid of a few more torture videos.
Paul in LA @ 9:
Ron Paul responds (the part about the donation starts at about 3:10)
JewishJesus @ 37:
sorry the storys wrong thoes volenteers soliciting from drivers were ron paul workers squeegieing car windshields for donations for ron paul, as was reported later thoes workers were being when last seen being run down pennslyvania ave by outraged motorists with base ball bats!
Cheney was tucked away in his man- size safe at the time.
The crude oil that Cheney was drinking out of the plaster cast of Keith Olbermann's skull must have ignited when he coughed.
Brimstone will do that.
jo @ 74:
I miss him too...
nwmuse @ 94:
Me too. I did a vid about missing colbert and stewart on youtube, over 20,000 people agree with me. I hope the strike ends soon!
anon @ 93:
LOL! And his cloven hooves couldn't stamp it out.
noitaluspacne @ 89:
The ONLY response that is acceptable is to refuse the money, and make a firm statement rejecting ALL money from white supremacist gangs.
But he won't...because he's a member.
First thing I told my wife when we talked about this over dinner was....he's covering his tracks and she said she thought the same thing. Scary, isn't it? That's how much we distrust this guy.
490 billion Iraq War
Shredders 3 million
Fire Priceless
Paul in LA @ 97:
Did you even bother to watch the video? He explains his position quite clearly.
[Knock it off. This IS NOT a Ron Paul thread. If you can't control yourself, I'll clean out all the references to him in this thread-Sitemonitor]
Randy in Madison @ 23:
Like Karl Rove and the Bush administration don't have their hands in the Writer's Guild Strike? How convenient now that they know we only get the news from the Comedy Shows.
Anyone smell sulfur coming out of cheney's office?
Are these the same firefighters that are now supposed to be looking around in the fire sites to see if there is any subversive or anti-American material ?
So what do you suppose they were looking for?
Tapes of some sort??
[Deleted. Off topic-Sitemonitor]
[Deleted. Off topic-Sitemonitor]
fires are treated like the super bowl by cable news
Mark Richards @ 76:
Yes a halon flooding system with automatic gas proof doors would be the best option.
noitaluspacne @ 100, response in the Open Thread above.
Hey Dick, call the CIA for more tapes...the fire's getting low. -- Gov. G.W. Bush
I can't help but get cynical......but I think.Somebody is up to no good and this fire is no accident.
There is a "cloud" over the Vice President...
Must have been destroying more evidence of torture.
It's not a flammable building - all stone/marble construction. So Cheney's shredder must have broken down. The fact that water was used to extinguish the fire indicates a paper, not electrical, fire.
Well this works out really well.
Now dick will be a little acclimated when he gets to hell.
One less thing for him to worry about.
woid @ 5:
smokin' in the boy's room with his friend, Tricky Dick Cheney... Aaah, yes... I don't know what happened to that incriminating evidence... there was a fire, yeah... that's it...
Wow! Did you all read this list of what was in that fire posted on the DailyKos?
This was funny.. And, maybe not so funny.. A little too close to the truth..
is it not strange that while the senate was debating the fisa bill 2 days ago...with the bill giving retroactive immunity to the telecoms...it was stated that a few senators had seen some classified documments that were the requests to the telecoms to hand over info and their rationale behind the requests, NO other senators could look at the documents due to national security of course...yet it was made known that these papers were kept at...guess where...yup...right inside this very building...this one that was on fire today...and it just so happens that one of the senators who had seen the documents and that spoke on the floor had made a statement that EVERY senator
should get a chance to see these documents before voting on any new fisa bill....imagine that...wonder if those papers are still inside that building..bet they felt some pressure coming for those documents as the billed was pulled from the floor to be brought back sometime in Jan. it never stops with these guys...
Rusty @ 117:
Rusty, that was my Senator (Wyden from Oregon). I was really proud of him, listening to him speak on the Senate floor. How do you now those documents that he spoke about were stored in those offices? Did you read it somewhere? Do you have a source?
They had to get rid of those pesky visitor records some way. They're running out of stooges or they wouldn't have had to do it so close to home plate.
Rusty @ 117:
Good point, also wasn't there a court order recently that they had to hand over their vistor logs...
A fire near Cheney's office. An explosion at Faux News.
Both "accidents," of course.
But I know better.
GOD HAS SPOKEN!!!!
These weren't "accidents." These were Acts of God. Warnings that the culture of corruption and deceit Republicans had better mend their ways, start acting like Christians with a heart, stop acting like soulless, warmongering, fear-promoting, greedy, egomaniacal fools.
The Republicans and their lying mouthpieces are an abomination in the eyes of God. They're doomed, doomed, doomed. Their utter contempt for our democracy and our democratic institutions has sealed the fate of their souls.
Hee, hee, hee.
...Vice President Sauron's attempt to summon the demon-god Morgoth from the abyssal void of the beyond goes terribly, terribly awry... Enraged shouts could be heard afterwards, "(unitelligible, but sounded like profanity) Somebody get me some REAL elf blood! This Keebler crap is useless!"
Pericles @ 22:
HA!
Brilliant!
From the photographs it seems that a flying 767 (757?) crept through the double doors. How tell? No sign of a 767.
Max
Just another excuse for Bush and Cheney to destroy evidence and blame the fire.
how in the world does a building important as that one actually have a fire break out? Most up to date corporate buildings in the U.S. have very small chances of any real fire breaking out because of the fire systems in place. You might get a trash bin fire, but then the whole floor gets doused.
I'm willing to bet that the White House visitor logs were in there.
Pass the dutchie pon de left hand side
Burning evidence and it got out of jand?
Cheney must have the largest bong in DC.
Are they really that evil ? or guilty....WOW
damn, just lost all those secret documents.
Taking bets that the firemen who responded so quickly get the Gitmo treatment.
Tucker..IS A MAN/CHILD. What more needs to be said..?...
Two Mafia hoods were overheard discussing the fire at Cheney's office.
VINNIE THE SNAKE: "Reminds me of a fire at my restaurant. I lost everything."
ROCCO THE REPTILE: "I never had a fire. But I did lose everything in a flood at my store."
VINNIE: "Yeah? How do you start a flood?"
"I kept throwing classified documents at the fire but the fire did not seem satisfied. I cried out what do you want from me! More!,More! exclaimed the fire, so I threw more classified documents at the fire but it only wanted More!,More!".........said the President of Vice Richard Cheney as he was led away by the Fire Marshalls.
Yeah, didn't you hear the NEW NEWS; the fire started because DICK and BUSH thought they saw something that resembled the BILL OF RIGHTS!.........BA-ZING!
Was Cheney using his death-ray vision on some poor staffer who wanted to do something like tell the truth?
"Oh Golly! All those court protected documents that have the written evidence of guilt got all burned up. Isn’t that a shame!"
Cheney
If anyone can't see this as a clear example of obstruction of justice, destroying evidence, and other, more lawyery type terms, perpetrated by the administration...then you're a fucking asshole. When are these criminals going to be prosecuted?! What more does the Senate and Congress need to LET HAPPEN before they take action?
Sometimes if you use a can of compressed air to clean out the paper dust in the tines of a paper shreader it can cause a fire if the tines are hot or if they are running and you spray compressed air into them.
Bob in PA @ 75:
Shouldn't that be a blood pump ,Cheney long ago proved he has no heart !
And the remaining 1,246 CIA tapes of enhanced interrogations are disappeared...
I don't listen to or watch mainstream media news but I'm curious to know if any of those corporate whores have bothered to investigate how many staff members and employers happend to be "out of the office" just before the fire started--like perhaps at some "training exercise" somewhere else so that nobody was available to get a hold of a couple fire extinguishers to put out the fire (which, by the way, doesn't black smoke mean an accelerant was used???) before it got out of hand and destroyed what the white house of hell will eventually claim was an unfortunate loss despite all their good intentions to comply with court orders and investigations. Surely, the white house of hell will claim the documents were never digitized and copied/stored electronically for fear they would be accidentally deleted like all those emails and so they kept everything in paper document form, which, unfortunately, is not fire-resistant to within an inch of its life.
Will Bill O'Really claim that liberals started the conflagration? Shades of 1933's Berlin Reichstag Fire!
The Oracle @ 121:
If "GOD" was going to do anything he would have started a long time ago with Nixon.
And the building didn't collapse into rubble? What? I thought fire brings down buildings?
A mighty fine evidence fire you got there boys...
dadams @ 2:
Yup! Of course you know that used to be Karl Roves Brain Farts when he was still there
This always happens when Satan stops by for tea.
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