Natural Love And New York

Let's avoid one thing henceforth and forever: When discussing gay marriage, let us never let anyone get away with suggesting a lifelong bond between a man and woman is particularly "natural." It's true. Bonobos share 98 percent of our DNA,

Let's avoid one thing henceforth and forever: When discussing gay marriage, let us never let anyone get away with suggesting a lifelong bond between a man and woman is particularly "natural."

It's true. Bonobos share 98 percent of our DNA, and they f like bunnies wish they could f when they're having f-ing contests.

Our closest living relatives are to f-ing what beavers are to building dams--specialists with a passion that looks a lot like pleasure. So, you rarely see our closest genetic relatives in zoos, their cages quickly deteriorate into a non-stop scat-enthusiast free-free-for-all f-fest that traumatizes children and seniors. That's God's Perfect Creature for you, untouched by culture.

These so-called "hippie chimps" reap all sorts of benefits from the practice of nonstop chimp f-ery in lieu of marriage. They don't have wars, they have strong familial bonds, and everybody gets laid.

So from now on, before you point a steely finger of judgment at another person's "naturalness," smell those fingers. Do they smell like the inside of another person? If not, you need to be more natural.

About Andy Cobb

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