Urgent Message For Hosni Mubarak

President Mubarak, you misunderstand America. Sure, we are historically willing to accommodate dictators, we have endorsed and supported your corrupt regime to serve perceived strategic interests. But even at our most cynical, we have our limits.

You, sir, have crossed a line our country will not abide. It's hard to deny the awe-inspiring power of a unified democratic uprising, and Egypt deserves real elections. And you need to get out of the way before some really spectacular cheekbones are endangered.

And there are economic consequences for Americans. If something happens to the Silver Fox, what else have those poor folks at CNN got? Parker/Spitzer? PARKER F-ING SPITZER? Those people need to eat, they have families.

Everybody cool out.

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