And you thought 'The Christmas Sweater' referred to some article of clothing. Oh no.
Glenn Beck's been promoting the crap out of his crappy Christmas book "so popular we decided to make it into an unwatchable two-hour ego trip stage show", The Christmas Sweater. We even have some samples of the stage show, as well as his trailer for the movie, in which, as always, the eyes of Glenn Beck are upon. If that doesn't curdle yer eggnog, nothing will.
Anyway, it seems Glenn's show is quite the flop, at least in the cities. Now, I bet it would do gangbusters in places like Orem, Utah. So mebbe he should take it there.
But I think there's a misunderstanding as to why Beck calls it The Christmas Sweater. A lot of people think it's referring to some item of clothing frequently discussed in Beck's incredibly banal story. It's not.
Joseph Childers at TrueSlant went to one of these events, and reported back with a handy guide to it all. He discusses an aspect of the performance I've been hearing about from others who've seen it:
2. How Can One Man Expel That Much Liquid From His Body?
If Barney Frank and Michael Moore ran a marathon train session on Rush Limbaugh, I doubt it would produce the amount of sweat Glenn Beck expels in five minutes. Not even counting the words coming out of his mouth, I’m amazed at the amount of disgusting stuff that exits this guy’s body on stage. Spittle, sweat, and tears ooze of out of him constantly; I think I counted four shirt changes in an hour and a half. Nipples, shoulders, neck, stomach: every part of Beck’s body is a soldier in his sweat army. I was in constant awe at Beck’s inability to stay even moderately dry for more than two minutes, and my perpetual scanning for new leaks to spring probably meant I missed some gems of wisdom to share with you, and for that, reader, I apologize.
See, you thought "the Christmas sweater" referred to a crappy gift Beck got once. Nuh-uh. The Christmas sweater is the guy up on stage.




The worst part about getting hand made crap like "the christmas sweater" is that you can't return it for something that fits.
Maybe I should write one called The Christmas Condom.
I wonder how many people will want to see a movie version of that?
At last Ed Woods Jr. is vindicated as no longer being the worst director.
But then I never thought he was.
(I wrote some stuff and nonsense on the otherwise dead minaret thread I'd like y'all to see...We'll keep the lights on for ya.)
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Of course that would have to be my sequel to Brotherhood of the Traveling Condom.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
I added a few comments to that otherwise dead thread too.
"If the US government enforced its banking laws like it did its park regulations, we wouldn't be
in this damn park in the first place." OCCUPY.!!
At least Ed Wood had a sense of humor and joy. Beck is just a miserable, vile human being.
How can this guy make a living?
I find it just dumbfounding.
"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that! " ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )
so little... ahh... beer. Cranksters sweat like pigs.
Crankster!
I hadn't thought about that - you're right - they drip sweat non-stop are too energetic, talk nonsense, etc. sounds exactly like Beck!
Seriously.
"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that! " ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )
cash. he plays (lies) the part of being humble and "recently" destitute. Yeah, right. The really sad thing is that Glenn Beck has so much money that he can do whatever he wants to get even more money, including selling crap like this shit, capitalizing on Christmas, like so many other commercial whores.
They just lie, lie & lie. The gullible believe. Pretty simple, isn't it?
thanks but I'll pass
While scanning him for other leakage did you happen to spot any santorum discharge from his overly ample backside?
leakage*
Perfect! Where do I get tickets?
"If the US government enforced its banking laws like it did its park regulations, we wouldn't be
in this damn park in the first place." OCCUPY.!!
Stage and movie lights can be extraordinarily hot, I have direct experience with the former. Usually with movies that's a sign of cheaper versions.
I've read that Frankenstein was filmed in the August of 1931, and Karloff was in a 40-60 pound costume that consisted of at least a couple of sweaters to give the skinny guy bulk, so the suffering in his eyes were real. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was filmed in Texas during the summer, with the hot cheap lights, and no air conditioning, to much the same effect. Often when you see the cast getting hysterical they often were.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
I get it, Beck is a scumbag. Thanx for all the info.
Temporary withdrawal (of the usual toxins) does the same thing.
"If the US government enforced its banking laws like it did its park regulations, we wouldn't be
in this damn park in the first place." OCCUPY.!!
One of my all time favs.
Amazing film made for next to nuthin.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
What other than a wingnut christofascist Moonie would pay to watch this escapee from the Coo Coo's Nest sweat for 2 hours?
Beck is the son of Satan.
Just when you thought Beck couldn't get any creepier...there is no bottom to his pit of lunacy.
Democratic Party progressive, Vietnam veteran and proud Union member for 41 years
It's Christmastime again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXcb7VPw59s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk_HqWAqwXY
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
lots of people wearing magic underpants there too....
Dear C&L.... dont you give Beck more power, by constantly posting what he is up to day in and day out?
just wondering.
To a larger degree, I agree with you. But it's not just Beck, it's all of them. All the loudmouth, crackpot extemists that manage to get air and print space. It is no longer anything but an annoying novelty tweak. We already know what they're gonna say or do, at least the gist of it. Like a bad car wreck, you can only stop and stare so long. Their diatribe is not something many of us look forward to immersing our curiosities in, day after day. Even the twisted entertainment value has become tedious. No, sick.
C&L is as guilty as most of the other progressive blogs of too much "Headline Coverage" of the Becks and O'Reillys. They frankly are not worthy of the space, there is plenty going on that would be more worthwhile information. I personnally have never found them all that interesting. Provocative? Yes, but who really needs more of that?
for good reason:
http://www.cjr.org/
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
I don't understand how anyone can watch this guy's show, let alone a full length movie. I can't get though a 5 minute clip. The repulsion blows my hair back...
I usually don't watch any Fox clips, but curiosity got me this time.
"If the US government enforced its banking laws like it did its park regulations, we wouldn't be
in this damn park in the first place." OCCUPY.!!
... Glenn Beck couldn't get any more disgusting.
Corruption favors the wealthy.
He'll take that as a challenge
Maybe dress up like sarah palin.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Got any good links? I'll check the minaret thread.
Corruption favors the wealthy.
Not really, other than to Google The Mabinogion, or buy a copy, and read the same editorial notes I did about Beowulf in the book of the same title,
The stuff about Alans and Rus come from a book I've read about 15 years ago about Roman occupied Britain,
The stuff about the Easter Annals from a book called In Search of King Arthur,
Artur of the Tuatha de Danaan from Celtic Myths and Legends from Charles Squire, as well as the more more mythical Arthur exploits, and Robin,
Le Morte D'Arthur by Sir Thomas Mallory,
Riothamus from the books of Geoffrey Ashe,
The myths of Ascanius, Aeneas and Anchises from Robert Graves Greek Myths, and Man, Myth and Magic edited by Richard Cavendish (an encyclopedia series), also used for Gnosticism,
The Albigensian heresy from a Roman Catholic website New Advent
And from Barbara G Gordon An Encyclopedia of Woman's Encylcopedia of Myth and Secrets.
The Vikings came from memory, I can't find the book right off hand. But then most of this stuff I've filed away in my memory anywho, and drew some of my own connections like the Lily Maid and Dido.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwsR71YZPac
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO3TK_z2Jqw&fe...
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeVfSr7qLt8
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
Beck's Grand Stage Hustle.
.
Glen Beck IS a staged show...
.
Starve the WAR Beast...
... Feed Americans.
I wonder how many of the 17 people who saw it in New York and Boston were just there to laugh at him...
speaking of redemption, Beck:
Glenn, on his old radio program, lead the cheer of "Jump, jump, jump" directed at some distraught woman on I-5, tying up traffic.
What a peach, and an example to christians everywhere.
"What a peach, and an example to
christiansMormons everywhere."(or so I heard)
"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that! " ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73ax6ZrcUx4
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Mormons are Christians.
...it's a matter of discussion to X-ists....
"Ronald Reagan is DEAD! His policies live on but we're doing something about THAT!"
Actually, that was a shock jock named Rob Tepper.
you're right.
However, not that this matters, but they are both equally horrifying.
Glenn Becks's movie went out to theaters nationally.
Sales in New York and Boston numbered 17 tickets per state.
Washington , DC saw ticket sales of 30.
enter Nelson Muntz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo
Starve the WAR Beast...
... Feed Americans.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX3UqY8KZpU
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Beck is the king of Sweat Hogs.
Sweathogs forever!
What an unbelievably self absorbed phony.
I'm really tired of having to gaze into Beck's "soulful" blue eyes as he once again calls up the memory of things that never happened so he can wring yet more globs of disgusting body fluid out of himself.
I'm tired of him and others like him defining what Christmas is supposed to be about while exploiting the whole thing for money.
Him blathering about "redemption".Rrrright.
You will never,ever redeem yourself Beck because you are one fucked up evil son of a bitch.You should get on your hands and knees right now and beg America for forgiveness for your reckless hateful despicable antics.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
What goes in this man's head? Someone actually quit heroin after viewing/reading The Christmas Sweater? I find that sooooooo hard to believe....
Did he say people from around the world view this crap?
I need a drink!
Has turned at least 27 people into stone cold junkies-in misguided attempts to erase the awful memory of Beck's red faced snot-flecked bloated blubbery from their minds.
"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "
-Jack Handy
Didn't Beck also play the Dude's landlord in "The Big Lebowski"? The one with the dance recital?
Separated at birth?
Ludeowski
I came up with almost the same idea at almost the same time as yours!
Tho I was thinking about the general concept of Christmas Sweat, which is a great description of the desperation of retailers and the mood they seem to want us to be in.
I mean, "Black Friday" used to be a term for disasters, no?
* Radio Free Entropy: http://just-john.com/jjMusic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4UjGfWkuJM&fe...
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Glenn Beck has joined Bill O'Reilly in the exclusive world of right-wing blowhards who have also written novels. I don't know what Glennie decided to name his characters. I'm hoping that none of them are named Shannon Michaels or Tommy O'Malley.
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/ar...
"Glenn Beck has joined Bill O'Reilly in the exclusive world of right-wing blowhards who have also written novels."
So has Michael Savage, though his was semi-autobiographical and dealt (in part) with his repressed homosexual tendencies.
Beck's Christmas Ego trip.
from Roch Carrier, National Librarian Of Canada:
http://nfb.ca/film/sweater/
Merry Christmas everyone!
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACApP94ei14
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
All I want from Santa is plenty of ho, ho, ho's.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
jumped the
shark.. polar bear with that album ...I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
I prefer old fashioned love songs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BiODjvVEOw
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
- zing...
NIN meets Lost Wages ... nice.
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
I did not know they even made sweaters out of the same material as Depends. I'm sure it saved money having the upholstery cleaned after her sons visits.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
I'm watching this clip ...but is this F-Turd really ... rolling around....onstage ...??
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
watch the clip. i dare you not to ROTFLMAO when they do the closeup of his eyes...hooowheee!
The best part is when he mentions (twice), that the Christmas sweater is his only book of fiction....heeheee!
'We, the People'............rimshot................hahahahahaha!
if you promise to watch the NFB clip i posted above:
http://nfb.ca/film/sweater/
its actually very sweet ... its 10 minutes but c'mon its culture ..!
... but I NEVER want to see a closeup of Beckey's eyes EVER again ...
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
As soon as they opened the box I knew it would be a Maple Leafs Sweater....LOL!
BTW I bookmarked the NFB website.
'We, the People'............rimshot................hahahahahaha!
... why do we hate you so...? :)
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
Norman McLaren's 1952 Cold War masterpiece "Neighbours"
all of the sounds were hand written on the film stock ...a technique he created ( I think) ....predating synthesizers ....
http://www.nfb.ca/film/neighbours_voisins/
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
Okay, I got as far as the word "mother" and clicked off. There was a little quiver in his voice and I figured he was about to cry again. Am I right? He cried, didn't he?
What a pussy!
Waddya bet besides facing the cost of productions, becky's now gonna have to face the cost and possibly pecuniary loss of lawsuits, counter-suits, cross-suits, and class-action suits of disappointed partners?
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Glenn is wasting his Precious Bodily Fluids.
Wait for it......@ 1:29.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1KvgtEnABY&fe...
'We, the People'............rimshot................hahahahahaha!
"The Wanderer" ... Hayden's autobiography ... the guy was truly amazing!
One of a kind!
not to promote Amazon but:
http://www.amazon.com/Wanderer-Sterling-Hayde...
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
He's a lunatic and a snake oil salesman.
Wikipedia states that Hayden died of prostate cancer.
has a very good takedown of "The Christmas Sweater"
He "would rather have his balls waxed by a beautician with hooks for hands than have to sit through Glenn Beck's performance of The Christmas Sweater again."
And that's just the beginning.
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
(sorry, no permalink)
[There is; you just need to know where to look :) Glenn Beck's Christmas Sweater Live Broadcast: A Rude Review (Updated Again)-Sitemonitor]
..
I'm Boycotting NewsCorp! Heres what not to buy: http://www.cjr.org/resources/index.php?c=news...
Think Progress has posted about this clown show and how it has tanked in all of the major cities (17 tickets sold) except in rural areas where he's done much better.
When angry, count four, when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain-
Dammit, I'm a heavy perspirer as well! I feel belittled!
Leave Glenn Beck Alooooooone!
Or, you know, Degree for Men as a stocking stuffer? Please, please?
I think Beck should occasionally use a Christmas Muffler, like this one.
Or, more appropriately, like this one.
I'm sorry, what this man is trying to do is really scary. I think he may be smarter than you guys realize, or just a really, really cunning narcissist. Listening to this man, I'm just imaging all the out-of-work old white guys, who don't even understand the internet and can't use a keyboard if their life depended on it (hear's a hint: it does), going absolutely bonkers. They don't understand the new world. They tuned it out and put in there 40 hours of manual labor somewhere, week after week, buying what they could afford and reveling in the good ol days when those gentlemen with their friendly southern drawls were President. Now they see this educated black man who actually did come from a rather common family to be president of the USA, and it pisses them off. How can they feel good about not knowing anything about the world anymore? They can't understand how far it's actually changed without them. What are these old fucking idiots even fighting? They're going to collect on the Social Security I'll be paying into, and the tax increase our new medicare system is going to cost, because we couldn't adopt a purely socialist plan that may displace insurance company employees temporarily, oh nooooo... we have to pass some sort of unpaid-for Frankenstein bill that makes sure insurance companies can continue to be the biggest parasitic middlemen in our society today.
Back to my point, Beck revels in the anger and frustration these people feel, and I worry how many disillusioned in my generation he might be able to actually convince as well. I fear this country may be heading off a real cliff in 2012. It wont be the end of the world, but it will be something insane hear in America. I had some hope after Obama got elected, and I really do think he's trying his best trying to steer an unwilling country into the next century. I mean there's really only so much you can do. I even thought Bush Jr. was really somewhat of a well-meaning guy, just dumb as a box of rocks with a lot of certifiably narcissistic and greedy old pigs working for him. I don't know, I know a lot of you guys are the original hippies and all, but I really wonder what my generation may have to face soon. I hope it doesn't happen until I'm 35 ;)
Whenever I see his books in stores, I always, ALWAYS, since I despise his vile propaganda, soooooo much, I turn his book upside down on the shelf, and facing inward. He enrages me. Just to look at his book pisses me off. He's a detriment to humanity. I'd love to have seen him fall off the stage and break his body into bits. The man is a manure pile.
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