Virginia Is For Wackos! Now They Want To Create Their Own Currency

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Stories like this one aren't going to help the Republicans much with their so-called "rebranding' effort: Virginia is for lovers of their own currency:

Virginia sure has been a hotbed of activity on issues with national implications, hasn't it? Republicans in the commonwealth pushed a scheme to rig the electoral college (which failed soon after), launched an ugly redistricting scheme (which now appears doomed), and crafted absurd voter-ID bill (which seems likely to become law).

And while all of those are clearly important, this is the one that amazes me.

Virginia Del. Robert G. Marshall fears that a financial apocalypse is coming and only one thing can save the Commonwealth: its own currency.

The idea that Virginia should consider issuing its own money was dismissed as just another quixotic quest by one of the most conservative members of the state legislature when Marshall introduced it three years ago. But it has since gained traction not only in Virginia, but also in states across the country as Americans have grown increasingly suspicious of the institutions entrusted with safeguarding the economy.

Marshall's proposal sailed through the House of Delegates this week, passing by a two-to-one majority.

No, seriously.

And why, pray tell, does Marshall see the need for Virginia to have its own currency? Because he and other stark-raving-mad lawmakers fear the wholesale collapse of American civilization, as precipitated by the Federal Reserve. The Washington Post noted that Bob Marshall believes it's possible the U.S. could look like "the Weimar Republic of Germany after World War I: a worthless currency, skyrocketing inflation and a crumbling government."

Of course, Sideshow Bob also believes in "death panels," equated the Recovery Act with slavery, and is convinced that women who have abortions subsequently have disabled kids because God is punishing them.

This is the man who wants to shape monetary policy in Virginia. Read on...

And from Blue Virginia: Help Virginia Design Its Own Currency!:

Please don't view the new House of Delegates-passed bill for Virginia to study creating its own currency as a sign that this state is governed by ignorant, wacko, redneck, conspiracy theory-driven morons who just crawled out of some godforsaken Hillbilly Hell.

No -- view it as an opportunity. Because what could be more fun than designing your own money?

In the spirit -- as always -- of aiming to assist our Republican overlords, I am initiating this brainstorming session on what our new Commonwealth Cash should look like. Come on and add your own ideas. The only rule is that this currency must be limited to right-wing figures and themes, since Democrats of course lack the wisdom and foresight to protect us from UN conspiracies and stuff. So, here goes:

- The Ken Cuccinelli $397 bill: Because round numbers are a liberal conspiracy. The front of the bill would depict His Cucciness on a throne holding a scepter while scientists around him are being whipped and beaten. The back would depict the goddess Virtus -- whose left breast Cuccinelli ordered covered up as one of his first acts as Attorney General. This time, she'd be wearing a chador.

- The Bob McDonnell's hair $100: Have we ever had a governor with such newscaster-worthy hair? The front of the bill would pay tribute to Gov. Bob's hair. The back would be devoted to depicting all of the governor's accomplishments during his term. It would be blank. Read on...

We've got more on Marshall here and here as well.

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