March 25, 2009 10:30 AM
Chuck Norris writes columns....
... and World Nut Daily prints them...
And the question that keeps coming back to my mind is: How is it that we can militarily overthrow a tyrant like Saddam Hussein in Iraq, yet we can't keep illegals from crossing our borders? As Mike Huckabee says, "If the government can't track illegals, then let's outsource the job to UPS or Fed Ex." It's true. If they can track a lost package anywhere in the world within minutes, they can certainly track down and keep track of illegals.
Will Fed Ex scan each illegal or what? Whiskey Fire has more of his lunacy.
Don't most packages come with RFID chips anywhoo?
And how are you going to collect the illegals to chip them, if you can't collect them in the first place? And if you could why release them?
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Does this mean that Chuck Norris is the Anti-Christ and UPS will be the ones inforcing the Mark of the Beast?
Don't tell me you didn't know that already!
That's common knowledge! };p>
Poor clueless shoeless.
snark!
Mine eyez have been opened.
If they can track a lost package anywhere in the world within minutes, they can certainly track down and keep track of illegals.
It's like they're brain damaged. If they weren't actually serious...it would be funny.
At least Chuck has an excuse...been hit in the head once too many times, but what's the deal with Huckabee? Did his mother drop him when he was a baby?
"Anyone that makes less than $150K in this country, has no business voting Republican."
I think anyone who believes in the crazy and hateful crap they do has to have something mentally wrong with them.
IMHO, the religious fervor that Chuckles the Ninja and others experience involves fully subordinating their critical reasoning to the Word of God.
Of course, God opposes evil. Therefore, that which I consider evil must therefore be an offense to God. When the Bible says we should oppose evil, clearly, who am I to contradict the literal Word of God?
It's a mish-mash of circular reasoning and haphazard thought.
has been influenced by that horrid "Blackberry Police State" commercial, where an errant student is hunted down and thrown into detention. He'd probably be thrilled at the suggestion that everyone receive a bar-code & chip implant at birth, along with the Social Security number.
we can't keep them out because we haven't the will to do so.
because U.S. corporations want them here.
They can pay them below market scale wages and not cover any benefits.
Corporations know that if those workers get hurt...hospitals and doctors are ethically required to treat them.
Costs are passed on the public in the form of increased deductibles and higher insurance rates.
Am I going to fast for you?
"Anyone that makes less than $150K in this country, has no business voting Republican."
You forgot the part that the corps can have no work safety standards as the illegals can not complain about it to any authority without getting themselves a ticket into one of those fancy shmancy concentration camps.
I think they're "here" because it sucks worse to be "there". I'm not sure many are carrying Blackberries in order to receive their corporate marching orders.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
I'm not sure many are carrying Blackberries in order to receive their corporate marching orders.
No. Corporations put "plants" in small towns, flood small towns with flyers, and use mercs to drive the trucks that drive these people over the border. What..you think it's good samaritans driving those trucks for free?
Puleeease...this is the REAL world. No one does anything for free...when there's money to be made. Especially under the table tax free money.
"Anyone that makes less than $150K in this country, has no business voting Republican."
when they're doing all the work we're unwilling to do? Have you ever picked strawberries for $2 an hour?
There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits
outsource this to the Oceanographers. they can tag each Mexican baby and release them into the wild.
That was great! Well done.
"Anyone that makes less than $150K in this country, has no business voting Republican."
Outsource this job to the illegal aliens! Wouldn't this just be another job that Americans wouldn't do!?
..workers will unionize with a secret ballot that FedEx management can't control and then refuse to scan illegal immigrants. Hmm...
Mickey: "It was an epiphany. Do you know what an epipany is?"
Keoni: "NOT NOW MICKEY!"
I had no idea who chuck norris was until huckabee hooked up with him. I don't know which surprises me most, that he would write anything that would be published or that anyone would bother to read it. His thinking and Beck's thinking are way too close together. Toss in Huck and you do have a bitter soup.
Oh, I got my dog chipped a couple of weeks ago. He's a Yorkshire Terrier but he was born in this country so I think he's safe from Chuck and Huck.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
Hey, what's with that?
Sounds like they're clearing their throats.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
It's about as smart as the idea that the gov't can track a cow anywhere in the world so all illegals should be given a cow when they enter the country. I can't remember which comedian said that but it was right after the whole beef scare about mad cow.
Both the Fed Ex and the USPS working together recently lost one of my packages. And my ups guy left a package at the gate at work so it got crushed when someone came through instead of ringing down that he was here with a package.
Maybe we need a registry of idiots instead of illegals - I mean considering illegals usually pay into a system they don't draw from and rethuglican idiots take and take and take it seems we're infinitely better off with border crossers than people like Chuck Norris or Tucker Carlson.
that could get messy...perhaps adding in a "fragile" stamp?
UPS got some flack a few years ago when video surfaced of some employees playing basketball with the packages. So I guess if we gave them the INS's job, the illegals would end up...in the NBA?
Well, it makes about as much sense as what Chuck's spouting!
There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits
I always new Chuck Norris was a knucklehead but I had no idea how deep the knuckles went!
This is what happens when you whack a guy in the head too many times.
There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits
Good ole Chuck has been kicked in the head to many times!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE&fe...
Trust me Chuck, no one who hasn't had a lobotomy gives a shit what you think. I blame your incoherent right wing blatherings on the late great Bruce Lee for kicking you in your skull so many times.
P.S. My sister sent back that shitty ab machine you, that tax cheat Snipes and some dumb bitch pimp in the middle of the night. Like you, it's a fraud...mother fucker.
We can tag non-Americans and non-white people in the US!!!! I'm sure I will love being tracked being non-white and all.
Whiskey Fire has more of his lunacy. The
Mickey: "It was an epiphany. Do you know what an epipany is?"
Keoni: "NOT NOW MICKEY!"
That always seemed to me somewhat beyond his skill set.
Grunting and kicking, and sweating...and looking menacing: yep, unbeatable...
But actual intellectual activity?
Look behind those eyes.
EMPTINESS, vast and ineffable...
It was a ghost writer that Chuckie paid. I think his name is Gung Fu Karma. He was also the stunt double in that awful TV show (can't think of the name now) that Chuckie did in the 90's.
"Let's talk dirty to the animals"
That last line at Whiskey Fire is funny. Ask Chuck how much a fart weighs and keep him busy with paper and a pencil for a while.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in redemption through Christ. He just kicks the hell out of you.
This is my favorite...so far...until I find a funnier one.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
It's that discourse that permits Chuck Norris and his ilk--Loud Obbs, the Savage/Weiner, etc--to get away with saying the shit they spew.
Calling migrant workers "illegals" marginalizes, 'em, dehumanizes 'em, makes it possible to shoot, or beat, or rape 'em. If they're just 'illegals,' why should anybody care about what happens to 'em? They broke the law. Everything that follows from that is their own fault?
That's just bullshit...
Agreed. No human being should ever be called an "illegal".
Unauthorized perhaps, but never illegal.
I think "illegals" applies very aptly to pretty much every member of the Bush administartion! Can't deny that now can you? But as far as the workers who come up here from south of the border to work and help keep food on Americans families tables, etc. I agree with you 100% that the term is seriously misused.
We just have to have every non U.S. citizen get a bar code printed on their forehead. I'm sure they won't mind, after all they aren't Americans, they don't have any rights.
I will write this slowly so that you can follow it Chuck, May I call you Chuck? You have been hit hard in the head and you know that not only me, but all those doctor's of yours all mention it to you when they see you?
Illegal aliens do your work for you Chuck. The army does the work for the gop. You are not high enough yet in the gop to get army service for your personal tasks. Illegal aliens don't earn as much as a war. Didn't your doctor explain this to you as well? I thought so. Try to remember, okay?
... that I'm less worried about an illegal immigrant coming here for a minimum wage job than I am wacklaoon adherents to Chuckles the Ninja and his Travelling Jesus Freak Medicine Show.
you got THAT right.
Way back we had migrant workers and they were all sorts of people, black, white and poor. They were treated horribly. When word got out about how they were treated laws were made to protect them and force their employers to treat them humanely. I don't know what became of those people but I see a pattern here. The people who are doing what those migrants used to do are here illegally and therefore they can't complain if they are treated horribly. I'm guessing they are probably making less than the migrants were.
A great book about the migrant people and how they were treated is "Angle City" by Patrick Smith. It is heartbreaking.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
John Steinbeck - Cannery Row, Grapes of Wrath, etc. show some of it too.
Patrick Smith's book always sticks in my mind because I got to meet him once. He's such a good writer. When you drive, especially through the middle of Florida, you see where imagrants lived in horrid little houses. Now someone else lives in those groups of little houses and they are just as horrid.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81k_34ouQhM
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
I wonder if Norris's madness can be linked to his Christian fundamentalism- I skimmed through his Bible thumping book book, and he seems to think all Americans must be made to see Jesus as the only path to freedom...His hatred of Latinos is typical of the American radical Christians,where faith in Jesus IS preaching hatred.
Quite a paradox, given Jesus preached peace and tolerance.
to christianity, somewhere.
Cuz when you're right, and you're the only one who is, then the rest are just going to hell anyway, so who gives a fuck about 'em...
Also a paradox given that most Latinos are much more devote Christians then the fundie wackos.
But aren't the bulk of them Roman Catholic?
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
I don't know if his 'conversion' happened before or during his stint as Walker: Texas Ranger, but his religious beliefs began surfacing in the program, including an episode dealing with the sons of a slain minister, and another about 'the power of prayer to combat racism' (a trio of ministers pray and a flaming cross is extinguished by the wind).
There was an attempt to spin the ministers' sons off into their own show, either the episode or the show was called The Sons of Thunder.
No, not Thunaer!
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Shadowgm writes: "I don't know if his 'conversion' happened before or during his stint as Walker: Texas Ranger, but his religious beliefs began surfacing in the program, including an episode dealing with the sons of a slain minister, and another about 'the power of prayer to combat racism' (a trio of ministers pray and a flaming cross is extinguished by the wind)."
I actually liked his series many years ago when I was taking martial-arts lessons; the sifu of my school had competed with Norris on the martial-arts contest circuit, and said Norris was known as "the gentleman" because he was always so polite and respectful of others. In the early part of his series he included episodes about, for example, a darling little Tibetan boy with spiritual power, and many episodes included an older Native American mentor who said wise things that were more pagan than Christian. Norris is part Native American himself, so his change to fundamentalist Christianity really disappointed me.
was a better show. Grasshopper did not need to shoot guns like "walker, Texas Stalker" did.
"Let's talk dirty to the animals"
You're right; I loved that show. It would have been really cool if Norris had played a Texas Ranger who never fired his gun, but only used negotiation and his martial art to defeat the bad guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g0yf6_KEWI&fe...
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqFCTofqh1o
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
would be much easier if it wasn't illegal for them to work and live in the US. Then there wouldn't be an incentive to stay hidden from the government.
Then the only 'undocumented' immigrants would be criminals.
But then we couldn't scream about the brown people.
It's not written in his column but he certainly makes the point that he's an absolute loon.
is intended to be a factual statement
Great idea, Chuck! And the FIRST thing we need to do is round 'em all up and tattoo a number on their arm! Oops...wait a minute....
... if we only barcode illegal immigrants, then there's still nothing to make an illegal immigrant submit to being barcoded.
You have to barcode the legal citizens and use that barcode for a much more far-reaching and intrusive means of identification. Healthcare, any type of civic aid or interaction, paying your bills, whatever - you get scanned and your number checked.
(Even then, someone's going to come up with a way to fake the barcodes.)
ohmigosh did you see "Idiocracy"? Barcodes haha
And make them wear some sort of distinctive marking on their clothing....Why is everybody looking at me like that.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Go back to your little evangelical church and talk "god" to your following of loons.
Honest to God, is this all they have? huckabee, fred lazy-boy-thompson, joe-the"wanna-be" plumber, etc, etc??
Following their logic is so pathetic...and yet so many of this nation are just dumb enough to swallow their shit with a grin on their stupid faces.
Hey, if the Conservatives can raise Joe the Plumber up as a spokesperson, then I guess Norris has his due place too.
Norris asks in his article, "Do you ever wonder how we can conquer the middle east...."
Have we conquered the middle east? Is it our plans to do so?
I never liked Chuck Norris, and my distaste for him has grown exponentially ever since he campaigned with Huckabee and writes stupid articles like he did.
to parody yourself is a rare gift. Chuck has it in spades.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
my great grandparents came here - just after the turn of the 20th century - from France, from Ireland, from England, from Italy - they came here *illegally*
as did many many many other citizens' grandparents and great grandparents.
they did not respectfully request that the King of Europe grant them the right to emigrate. they came here illegally, stuck in horrible living conditions in the bowels of some merchant ship.
many of my ancestors co-passengers became involved in organized crime. most of them, however, bought some cheap land and started farming. and paying taxes. and honoring laws. thats what my great grandparents did.
its incredibly hypocritical for all these crackers to be talking all this trash about "illegal" Hispanic immigrants, when so many of them could very well be descended from illegal aliens themselves.
...people of darker skin, and like it or not, that is and will continue to be a BIG factor!!
This country has so many double standards and hypocritical foundations.
chuckie is just one more idiot to deal with. he thinks he is "special" of course...which he is.
if you go to antique stores, you'll sometimes stumble across these "ironic" items from .. well, from when my grandparents came over here.
HELP WANTED - NO IRISH
this sort of thing:
http://tigger.uic.edu/~rjensen/nina.jpg
so, like I say, it really is hypocritical. tons and tons of Germans emigrated to America just after WW2. possibly even Mr. Norris's family? do you think they got permission from Walter Ulbricht or Wilhelm Pieck (the dudes who took over after Hitler killed himself) to come to America? cuz the way I heard it in Junior High, they had to escape to here under cover of night so they could taste America's freedoms, then when they first got here everybody called them a bunch of nazis and commies.
so like I say, ya, its pretty hypocritical.
There was no "King of Europe," but multiple Kings of States. Since 1172 the Kings of England also were Kings of Ireland, and the two were officially merged from about 1801-1920's.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
sorry I don't have my Eurotrash history memorized on the back of my hand. I had to actually google whoever the hell it was that took over after Hitler killed himself.
what I do remember, though, was the fact that this really nice Bavarian couple ducked past the Berlin wall and came here illegally. raised a couple of kids. opened up a nice restaurant. all "illegally", if you were to take Mr. Norris's opinion on the whole thing.
They probably had sponsors in this country. That's always been legal.
Bela Lugosi was an illegal alien, but the Hungarian community in New York arranged for his sponsorship. Of course he was also a political refugee, despite being an injured WWI hero (he was on the ski patrol in the Carpathian Mountains for the Austro-Hungarian side), but he was on Mihael Horthy's death list, along with other Hungarian artists, because they supported his predecessor Bela Kuhn. If Bela Lugosi returned to his home town in Transylvania, he would've been shot on sight.
An interesting quirk of history is Lugosi received his injuries that got him out of the war 5 miles from Voivode Vladislaus Dracula's un-redisovered castle Poenari. It wouldn't be rediscovered until about 1972.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
...instead of putting his money where his big mouth and his overly whitened teeth are and signing up with the Border Patrol to actually confront the very real border problems of drug and firearms smuggling.
He'll probably grab all of those guns he has on his ranch in Texas and go on a shooting spree.
the sentiment but the only thing more frightening than Chuckie with a gun is Chuckie with a gun and a badge. Then we'll all have to respect his authoritah!
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Well first, we'd have to cut off the legs of most Mexicans. Then they'd be more like UPS packages. Then we'd have to drive them everywhere in brown trucks. We can also use Minute Men to track them on their home computers. Personally, I'd like to track someone named Jesus.
Chuck Norris needs to stick to marital arts. he sucks at tv and he sucks at this too. he's like a **** that no one can get rid of!
at one point in his life he may have been a decent Martial Artist, but now, he's kinda sloppy.
But THIS is good stuff..
http://media.photobucket.com/image/chuck%20no...
I always thought he looked clutzy compared to Bruce Lee, with hardly any muscle tone.
But his Dorothy Hamill haircut was reeeall cute.
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
But I caught a few seconds of his travesty , I mean teevee show...and he was totally off...I mean I know it's only a crappy show, but damn Chuck, put some heart into it laddy-buck! At least try to look like it's real...
....just hire Chuck to do the job? He'd give each one a round house kick to the face and send them packing back to Mexico. Chuck is a bad ass...........make no mistake about that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l462aqpaAOY
Diabolus est Deus Inversus
Along with Mike Huckabee and most of the rest of the wingers would fully support tattooing a bar code on illegal immigrants so FedEx and UPS could track them.
Barack Obama: Change we can only imagine
FedEx could scan all illegals and then route them through Memphis regardless of where they need to go...packages, campesinos, los obreros y los, hey...they're all the same, right?
they're very likely to damage the packaging during shipment and let the contents leak out all over the place.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Nobody, I mean nobody could be that stupid, and live!
Alas there's an exception to every rule, in this case many. huckster, shrub, o'liely, murdoch, amazingly long list actually.
Chuck who?
Is he related to Joe the Dumber?
Until you moderate Texans [I know your out there] learn to control your vast legions of bat-shit crazies, y'all are just gonna have to leave the Union, because you're embarassing the rest of us.
It's best for everyone.
Bruce C Johnson
I think Chuck Norris has taken one too many round kicks to the head. His brains have gone soft.
army of Iraq, but for all intents and purposes, and without the intercessions of the clerics, we lost the war. The Iraqis are content to wait us out.
How utterly ignorant is this guy?
Norris may be a tough guy, but the stench of fear is in his every word. It's a condition known as conservatism.
Comments are closed on this entry