Rick Perry Has An Announcement And I Can Hardly Wait!

Rick Perry has announced that he will have “an announcement about his political future on Monday.”

Rick Perry has announced that he will have “an announcement about his political future on Monday.”

Rick Perry has a political future?

Damn. I figured that guy had about the same political future as Newt Gingrich. Hang it up, cowboy, and take your lasso home.

And then I got to thinking. Maybe Rick has other announcements in mind.

Like maybe ….

10. I’m running for Governor of Egypt.

9. We are moving Lubbock to Austin and vice versa. Everybody’s happy. Okay, I’m happy and that’s enough.

8. You know those rumors about me being gay? Not true. I just like show tunes. Nakkid. With other men.

7. I have enrolled in Miss Mavis’ Memory School. We’re up to three.

6. Yeah, David Dewhurst gets on my nerves, too.

5. I am officially changing my title from Governor to Cowboy Coyote King.

4. You know that whole barefoot and pregnant thing? Well, we’ve decided to change that. You can wear shoes.

3. Guns! Guns! Guns! No announcement. I just like saying it.

2. Do the people of Egypt admire a good head of hair? Because I can do that. I’ve already got an Indiana Jones outfit. And I can walk like an Egyptian.

1. Secede / Succeed — I keep getting those two mixed up. That’s why I’ve done neither.

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