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Thought You Hated Rick Perry To The Max? Hell, You’re Not Even Close.

What's a little taxpayers' money between friends, anyway?
Thought You Hated Rick Perry To The Max? Hell, You’re Not Even Close.

Get a large load of this poop.

The Republican [Perry] doled out tens of thousands of dollars in bonuses for top aides in his last weeks in office, including $137,205 on a single day the month before leaving – more than he gave in the previous four years combined, and more than almost any other outgoing American governor gave in 2014, records show. The aides all left with Perry, and soon after, one joined a political group promoting his 2016 bid.

But there is plenty of poop to spread around.

Texas officials increasingly are taking advantage of loose rules to hand out big bonuses just before leaving office, or to well-paid aides who themselves are on the way out, even though the money is supposed to be used in part to retain staff, a Houston Chronicle examination has found.

State officials have spent nearly $50 million over the past decade on bonuses for departing employees and often have not justified the gifts as required by law, the review found.

Do you want to know why I quoted all that instead of just telling you? Because you wouldn’t the hell have believed me.

He gave 16 in December 2014, his last month in office, including $12,700 for his budget director, Kate McGrath, who had gotten a $7,000 one-time gift nine months earlier; $8,900 for his legislative director, Ken Armbrister, who made a $180,000 annual salary; and $13,500 for his chief of staff, Kathy Walt, who had a $270,000 salary and later joined the political group promoting his campaign, RickPAC.

That’s MY money, you damn nincompoop.

But what snaps my velcro is that he wasn’t the only state Republican “conservative” doing it.

Overall, the state spent $355 million on bonuses between September 2005 and September 2015, including $259 million on so-called “one-time merit payments” that are subject to almost no rules and are not audited.

Damn, y’all.

Not one penny of that money went to the people who earned it at the bottom of the pay scale. It all went to people making six figures to begin with.

So, that happened today.

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