August 17, 2013


There’s been a story sizzling along the intertubes about CNN reporting an incident during a tour of the University of Texas Medical School in Houston, where, after Democratic Senator Wendy Davis rebuked Texas Republican Governor Rick Perry saying he knows nothing about human reproduction or women’s vaginas, Perry was alleged to have responded, “You don’t have to own an SUV to know where to pump the gas.” Perry then stepped over to the medical school’s anatomically-correct “female” doll on an examining table, pointed at the labi majora, and said, “I’m not stupid. Those are the vagina right there.”

Over the explosion of laughter, Senator Davis could be heard repeating, “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?” Senator Davis, who filibustered the first attempt to pass the abortion bill, said, “He just compared women’s bodies to his Chevy Suburban,” and condemned the Governor’s remarks as, “scary, scary stupid.”

Perry signed into law House Bill 2 banning abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy and setting restrictive conditions that will shut down the majority of the state’s women’s health clinics in Texas. Those clinics that will remain in business are owned by United Surgical Partners, a company marketed by Perry’s sister, Milla Perry Jones, who is also a shareholder. This part is fact. Sadly.

Unfortunately, the incident at the University of Texas Medical School is fiction, published by The Lapine, a Canadian satirical website. But it seems it wasn’t quite satirical enough as the story gained traction on numerous Facebook pages, as well as a number of other websites taken in by it. As one of them noted, “Sadly, it’s now impossible to separate fact from fiction with today’s Republican Party.”

The story might have been a spoof, but Rick Perry is enough of a bad joke for it to be all too believable. So today’s challenge, Gentle Readers, is to come up with equally horrifying, yet oh-so-plausible spoofs regarding the stupidity that personifies the right wing these days.

C’mon, it’ll be easy – it’s the Republican Party.

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