Former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay will participate in the upcoming season of “Dancing with the Stars,” facing off against pop singer Aaron Carter, actress Melissa Joan Hart, and former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin. According to DeLay spokesperson Shannon Flaherty, “Anyone who’s seen him on the dance floor at convention parties or weddings knows he’s going to surprise a lot of people — and in a good way. This is going to be a fun campaign, and at least we know he’ll make it as far as Tucker Carlson.” (Carlson was the first contestant eliminated in the 2006 season.)
ZOMG! Apparently this is step one of the Delay Reputation Recovery tour so that he can someday have as much gravitas in the national arena as his similarly scandal-ridden cohort in the House, Newt Gingrich. I'm sure that next will be a Very Special Episode of 24, in which Delay saves the world with Jack Bauer.
I have actually never watched this show and this *guaran-damn-tees* I never will.