Lock the doors. Pull down the shades. Bring in the exorcist, stat.

As I write this, my humble abode is being transformed into a puppet-occupied den of anti-democratic sin. Yes, my kids are watching the Muppets, with some newly-discovered zeal since the theatrical release of the film by the same name.

That is only part of the agenda, of course. Upon finishing and chowing down on some premium Borscht and Beluga, the plan is a mixture of Marxian performance art, Che Guevara hat fitting & then the coupe de grace (that's right, I used the language of the land of non-freedom fries!), finger painting images of Fidel Castro throughout the house in cigar-ash.

I know, I exaggerate. Slightly. But as the supremely hypocritical again begin what seems like a yearly ritual of complaining that kids' movies or tv shows are detrimental to their emotional or physical health (think of the children!), it is hard to respond with much other than contempt.

This time it is the right-wing Media Research Center going for the gold, with their Vice President For Business And Culture (redundant, judging by his belief system) Dan Gainor, making television appearances just freaking out about how "Hollywood, the left, the media, they hate the oil industry. They hate corporate America."

Gainor also throws Cars 2 (released recently) into the witch's brew of corporate-hating cacophony endangering our children, and then somehow moves onto railing about Syriana and There Will Be Blood--which presumably he screens for his kids just before the good stuff starts on Cinemax after midnight.

What is rather unfortunate about Mr. Gainor's argument--besides almost everything--is that Cars II and The Muppets were both released by The Disney Company.

See that word company, as in corporation, or in The Media Research Center's world, "an organization that enjoys all the benefits of being a person but none of the liabilities?" Yup, that kind of makes it hard for them to "hate corporate America." But, hey, let's not let facts get in the way of a good story.

This sentiment is consistent, however, with a long line of cultural and political hypocrisy served up by those on the Right. Whether it was the Late Reverend Jerry Falwell's cruelly criticizing that innocent and lovable Teletubby, Tinky Winky. Or Dr. James Dobson's crusade against that yellow sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, for not openly and loudly declaring his lust for Sandy Cheeks or another of her gender.

The key thing to keep in mind, however, is that its the very same people who constantly bellyache about how kids might be brainwashed by making an oil baron not so cuddly in a movie, who through vocal support or their vote, deprive children of health care. It is these same pearl-clutchers who deny financial aid to the 15 million children living in poverty, or just keep the environment in which they live buried in a Miss-Piggy-sized stew of toxins.

Because, you know, while your kid is gasping for air and looking for a sawdust snack, it's definitely the Swedish Chef you want to watch out for. My God, that Scandinavian culinary maestro must be a Socialist!

This is not to say our culture hasn't become a mess--it sure has. And that parents such as myself are not concerned about some of the things we see on television. We are.

But it is not movies like The Muppets that those of us in the reason-based community fear, but the values of selfish, rampant consumerism and corporatism pushed by organizations, like say, the Media Research Center. Groups that try and teach our children that there is no value in respect and virtue for its own sake. That everything is to be judged by its dollar value, and not its contribution to society.

This is what endangers our children, as it has increasingly, since the economic counterrevolution back in the 1980s. Ironically enough, conservatives used to get this. It might be why none other than Herbert Hoover once said "The only trouble with capitalism is capitalists - they are too damn greedy."

While even I wouldn't go that far, too-big-to-fail corporations and their hand maidens in Congress (and the conservative echo chamber) most certainly pose a far greater danger to our children than a green frog-like puppet.

This column was originally published at Al Jazeera English

OH-02: Culture of Corruption and Jean Schmidt

Bob Brigham flew to Ohio and files this report.

C&L takes the culture of life pledge

Check out my new post at Jesus General: "That god-fearing patriot from Crooks and Liars has come up with a living will for stem cell research. I hope it catches on. Greater love hath no man than he lay down the life of his family for that of a gooey collection of protoplasm."

Stem Cell Research Living Will

Stem Cell Research Living Will

The Culture of Life Pledge

I hereby certify that neither I, nor any member of my family, including but not limited to: children, grandchildren, cats, dogs, etc. and any "after acquired" family will never, ever, under any circumstances (even with my fingers crossed) take or ingest any form of drug treatment or medical breakthroughs that are in any way associated with or connected to Stem Cell research. I am morally opposed to this type of medical malfeasance that our lord and Savior and Dr. Dobson most assuredly rebuke. I declare that I am of sound mind and body (as so it is hence with respect to the aforementioned family members) as we execute this irrevocable document and thusly said, this document shall not be challenged in a court of law. This is so despite the fact that I or said parties, would either now or in the future, be the beneficial recipient of such a repugnant life enhancing treatment . Only the Devil's greatest tool, i.e. "temptation" could lead us into sinful thoughts of partaking of this reprehensible policy.

____________________________
XXXXXXXX

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Rest of Family

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Pets

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Notary Public

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Witness

David Brooks' next book: Congelicals on the Farm

via Jesus General

David Brooks
The New York Times

Dear Mr. Brooks,

As a resident of the Heartland, I'm tired of being denigrated by faithless blue-staters. My festering anger for these elitists finally erupted full force last Thursday when I saw the Frenchman, Alan Colmes, attack culture of life activist Neal Horsley for engaging in a traditional Heartland pastime...read on

Skippy has a little more about Brooks: shorter krugman: david brooks is a big fat weenie liar

The Culture Wars End Today

from ASZ: DOCTOR Bill Frist, Senate Majority Leader, makes a bullshit eighth-hand medical diagnosis for the media, and the TASS-US stenos dutifully lap it up. DOCTOR Howard Dean, newly elected chairman of the DNC, says nothing publicly.

The hypocrisy is stunning. Liz at Blondesense comments this morning:

Bush is changing his plans this weekend to rush to sign emergency legislation that might save Terry Schiavo's life if he can get federal judges to rule on this case. This from a man who had no problem signing a law to allow hospitals to pull life support from patients whose bennies had run out, were probably less sick than Schiavo and of course were of the brown skinned persuasion. This from the culture of life man who signed more execution orders than any other governor. This from the man who started a goddamned war in Iraq dragging young men and women from America to fight for his whimsy, get killed or mutilated and then shaft them...

The most absurd thing is that this is no longer about Terri Schiavo. You know it and I know it. It's about unbridled abuse of power. It's one of the final shots in the culture war for the collective soul of America.

And we lost.

Don't just take my word for it, either. Here's a learned legal opinion:

...Look, there is no other way to put it: this is the most blatant and egregious power-grab by one branch over another in my lifetime. Congress is intruding so far into the power of the judiciary, on behalf of a single family, that it is breathtaking.

The New face of the Moral Majority!

And I Say It Began In The Garden Of Eden...Our New Issue from Hullabaloo

This could be the one, folks, where we prove our bona fides to the red states:

A suburban American school board found itself in court Monday after it tried to placate Christian fundamentalist parents by placing a sticker on its science textbooks saying evolution was "a theory, not a fact."

Atlanta's Cobb County School Board, the second largest board in Georgia, added the sticker two years ago after a 2,300-strong petition attacked the presentation of "Darwinism unchallenged." Some parents wanted creationism -- the theory that God created humans as related in the Bible -- to be taught alongside evolution. The board says the stickers were motivated by a desire to establish a greater understanding of different viewpoints. "They improve the curriculum, while also promoting an attitude of tolerance for those with different religious beliefs," said Linwood Gunn, a lawyer for Cobb County schools.

The controversy began when the school board's textbook selection committee ordered $8 million worth of the science books in March 2002. Marjorie Rogers, a parent who does not believe in evolution, protested and petitioned the board to add a sticker and an insert setting out other explanations for the origins of life. "It is unconstitutional to teach only evolution," she said. "The school board must allow the teaching of both theories of origin."

Liberals bi-coastal elites once again show that they don't have proper respect for middle America by insisting that science and religion are two different subjects. Until we learn to stop condescending and quit showing this kind of contempt for heartland beliefs we will lose.

Again, I say this should be OUR issue. Let's run on a national pro-creationism ticket in 2006. Then maybe they will let us back into America. So what else is new? We are dealing with an absolutist culture that demands total capitulation or nothing. Compromise will not work and it certainly will not work on these "values" issues. (Indeed, I think it's part of what makes us look weak to some other factions who might be willing to vote for us.) This is the same old shit over and over and over again. We backed off on the death penalty, gun control, welfare, affirmative action and here we are with a new slate of issues about gays. Tomorrow it will be creationism. Until we realize that their condition is that we FULLY EMBRACE their cultural dominance in both word and deed, they will not be satisfied.

It is not enough that they be left alone to do what they choose. We must join them and do it thoroughly and with fervor. No amount of tweaking will work. Their real beef is psychological and tribal. Issues are fungible.

We've remarked before on the lack of civility in today's society. Part of it, I suspect, is as it's always been (According to Plato, Socrates famously complained about the disrespect of the youth of his time and warned against the growing indolence of society). Part of it is the ease of anonymity of the internet age allowing you to express your basest self without fear of being known. But we have also become a society where facts matter less than emotion, where self-righteousness and demonization triumphs debate and understanding and too many people assume that you exercising your freedoms mean less for them. It all adds up to a society for which kindness is the least appreciated virtue.

Curiously, according to a recent study, that's actually going against our most successful instincts:

Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, are challenging long-held beliefs that human beings are wired to be selfish. In a wide range of studies, social scientists are amassing a growing body of evidence to show we are evolving to become more compassionate and collaborative in our quest to survive and thrive.

In contrast to "every man for himself" interpretations of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution by natural selection, Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist and author of "Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life," and his fellow social scientists are building the case that humans are successful as a species precisely because of our nurturing, altruistic and compassionate traits.

They call it "survival of the kindest."[..]

While studies show that bonding and making social connections can make for a healthier, more meaningful life, the larger question some UC Berkeley researchers are asking is, "How do these traits ensure our survival and raise our status among our peers?"

One answer, according to UC Berkeley social psychologist and sociologist Robb Willer is that the more generous we are, the more respect and influence we wield. In one recent study, Willer and his team gave participants each a modest amount of cash and directed them to play games of varying complexity that would benefit the "public good." The results, published in the journal American Sociological Review, showed that participants who acted more generously received more gifts, respect and cooperation from their peers and wielded more influence over them.

"The findings suggest that anyone who acts only in his or her narrow self-interest will be shunned, disrespected, even hated," Willer said. "But those who behave generously with others are held in high esteem by their peers and thus rise in status."

I want so deeply in my heart for this to be true...I would love to see us champion the generous over the self-interested more. Think how few Republicans would be celebrated. :)