Ice Station Tango: What Al Gore Does....

Bi-Coastal Ex-Mormon: The best Beatles tribute evah...

Glenn Beck? Are you on meth?

Meth may be the kindest explanation for these Huckabee supporters from Tennessee, bless their hearts.

Thank the good lord you can once again buy sex toys in Texas. Can Alabama be far behind? Maybe if Charles Barkley becomes Governor. Speaking of sex... Suzy, honey? That's just wrong.

Round up today only by Blue Gal, Mike's having internet problems while on tour in Tasmania with Joe Cocker. Special thanks to Shakes and Drifty for showing Blue Gal such a good time in Chicago...We're all Spartacus.

Colorado Springs Gazette:

New Life Church said Tuesday that former pastor Ted Haggard has prematurely ended a "spiritual restoration" process begun when he was fired for sexual misconduct.

Haggard was fired from New Life Church and resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals in November 2006 after a former male prostitute alleged they had a cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine.

Haggard confessed to undisclosed "sexual immorality" and said he bought meth but didn't use it.

New Life said in a written statement that "the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and (New Life) maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry."

They don't say so explicitly, but it sounds like Ted couldn't quite give up "Teh Gay" and gave up being "restored," whatever that means.

(Guest blogged by Logan Murphy)

How much worse can it get for poor, old Ted? As if the embarrassment of getting outed for doing meth with a male hooker wasn't bad enough, now the church he built from the ground up is paying him to leave Colorado Springs altogether. Gotta love those Christian values.

Via Huffington Post:

The Rev. Ted Haggard moved Wednesday from his longtime home in Colorado Springs to Phoenix, where the disgraced minister will join the same church that helped fallen televangelist Jim Baker.
Haggard, 50, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals last year, after a former male prostitute alleged a three-year cash-for-sex relationship. The man also said he saw Haggard use methamphetamine. Haggard confessed to undisclosed "sexual immorality" and said he bought meth but never used it.

As part of his severance package from New Life Church, a 14,000-member congregation he started in his basement, Haggard agreed to leave Colorado Springs, a city he helped make an evangelical center.

"When he moved out of town today, there was a kind of relief on the part of the church that life can get back to normal," said the Rev. H.B. London, one of three ministers overseeing what has been called Haggard's "restoration." "For the Haggards, it is the beginning of a huge new chapter. It's a brand new start for them, the beginning of a new beginning." Read more...

ABC: Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent. Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

Download | play -WMP Download | play -QT

"I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away. I was buying it for me but I never used it,"

This is really about hypocrisy after all. Like Digby, watching this I interview I kinda feel sorry for him, but them I see one of his "hatred for the gay" sermons and I'm glad he was caught and exposed as a fraud.

It's The Whizzinater

Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test with Fake Penis

Actor Tom Sizemore has been jailed for violating his probation by failing a drug test after he was caught trying to use a prosthetic penis to fake the results, a Los Angeles County prosecutor said on Friday.

Word has it that the prosthetic penis is none other than the one Mark Walhberg used in Booge Nights.

According to prosecutors, Sizemore had been caught once before trying to use a similar device, sold over the Internet under the brand name the Whizzinator, and had failed drug tests on at least five occasions.

I'm sure Tom read all 9 testimonials

During Thursday's proceedings, prosecutors told Judge Baretto that Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days, the first after he was caught using a fake penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack. ...Sizemore had methamphetamine in his system

The problem as I see it is the intructions are way too complicated if you are hyped up on meth

But Baretto told Sizemore that his drug use was "out of control," adding, "I had hoped and wanted to see a positive performance."

So did Sizemore.

Carney said the ruse was revealed when the temperature of the sample proved too cool to have come from Sizemore's body, and he was asked to remove his pants.

NOTE: Our supplier highly recommend the use of a urine heating device which will ensure that the urine is delivered at the proper temperature. Temperature of the urine specimen is routinely checked and a cold specimen is grounds for a retest.

Sizemore's lawyer told the court that his client was destitute, living in a garage in Whittier, California, and that he was an expectant father, Carney told Reuters.

Price for Whizzinator=$150.00. Dehydrated urine=$12.00 Heat packs $1.00 FedX overnight $27.50 total=$190.00 We are figuring since the temperature was off, Tom didn't use enough heating pads. That would seem to be enough to get a room for a couple of nights.hydrated Urine

No report on the status of Sizemore's refund.