Wisconsin Republicans never fail to disappoint when it comes to bizarre, authoritarian, ultra-conservative behavior. Here's their latest, via ThinkProgress:

Example of a transvaginal ultrasound procedureAt the Wisconsin Right to Life Legislative Conference this week, the state’s top Republican lawmakersassured attendees that they will do everything in their power to enact a forced ultrasound bill, which would mandate an invasive transvaginal probefor some women seeking first-trimester abortions. “This bill is a priority,” Wisconsin Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald (R) said. “It is long overdue.”

At the same conference, the executive director of Wisconsin Right to Life, Barbara Lyons, claimed that the “Woman’s Right to Know her Unborn Child Act” doesn’t actually intend to mandate a transvaginal ultrasound.

Yeah, sure it doesn't. It doesn't intend to mandate it, but I'm sure it mandates it regardless of intent because Republicans really, truly believe they're the party of small government and forcible penetration of a woman's vagina with a plastic probe.

For the children, of course.

As the gender gap threatened to undermine their crusade for a one-term Obama, the GOP turned to Twitter to un-sink the Titanic. Don’t worry your pretty little heads about our party’s mandated transvaginal rapes and birth control bans, a host of Republicans shrieked. It is President Obama who is waging the war against women by sentencing two of them to life…on the Supreme Court.

FullofMitt: There’s no war on women coming from me. I’m so committed to protecting equality that I promise to lock Lilly Ledbetter in an airtight kennel. #TheDogLovedThat

JohnMcMaverick: War, you say? Well, we must bomb Womanistan before they force us to swallow their nuclear pill. #AlsoBombSyria #AndIran #AndCanada

ReinceStag: Who cares what the marketplace pays women? I need my wife to stay home to wage war on all these damn caterpillars clogging up my tax loopholes. #1%TopRateForThe1%

GovNikki: Women don’t care about birth control. They care about the rising cost of a decent mani-pedi & a vacuum that doesn’t lose suction.

Limpbaugh: Quit having so much sex! Or else send me your sex tapes. See, we stand for choice even more than them. #SoMuchViagraSoLittleCatholicBabePorn

GreatStateOfArizany: You can get the pill from your doctor only if you obtain permission from your boss. Also be sure to ask your boss whether your lunchtime BLT offends his faith.

FullofMitt: Contraceptions are people, my friends.

VomiSantorium: We’ll get the sluts next time. #Theocracy2016

MrsMitt: It’s grueling work managing five kids, five houses, a herd of dressage horses…not to mention all those nannies, undocumented gardeners & accounts in the Caymans.

FullofMitt: But Moms without $100 million IRAs must learn the dignity of minimum wage work. Also, let’s get rid of the minimum wage. #AndPlannedParenthood

VirginiaGOP: If a woman is pregnant, she’s ipso facto been penetrated before. So why would she object if the state shoves this transvaginal stick up in there too? #DoesntSheLoveHerHomeState?

GovofPenn: If a woman doesn’t want to look at the ultrasound screen, she can just close her eyes. It’s worked for my wife in our bedroom for nearly 40 years.

Dubya: The people of the United States will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with IUDs. #HeMustHaveHidThemInASecretWomb!

UndisclosedDick: The vaginas will treat us as liberators.

I'm surprised that Mr. Albo didn't respond to this situation by introducing a bill that revoked women's suffrage:

State Del. David Albo (R-Fairfax Station) was addressing the House of Delegates Friday when he described his failed seduction of his wife Tuesday night. Albo had driven home from Richmond following debate on the bill, which would have required women to have a transvaginal ultrasound procedure before receiving an abortion. (Gov. Bob McDonnell (R) announced this week that he and Republican lawmakers reached a deal to make the transvaginal procedure optional instead of mandated.)

Albo's remarks -- which he delivered with laughter -- were aimed in particular at that TV-talking colleague, Del. David Englin (D-Alexandria), a leading opponent of the bill.

"Boy's in bed, wife's here, TV, poured some red wine," Albo said of how he began the night.

Albo then attempted to play some "mood music" for his fellow lawmakers to help explain how he tried to entice his wife. House members were laughing as Albo received assistance from another lawmaker in putting on the music.

The next step in his seduction plan: He went to turn on the Redskins Channel to help put his wife in the mood for love. Apparently, his wife loves the Washington football team.

On the way to his Redskins seduction, Albo found a news channel that mentioned his name in the context of the ultrasound bill. On Rachel Maddow's show on MSNBC, Englin was discussing the ultrasound bill.

Unfortunately for Albo, he and his wife stopped to watch the show -- and his warm bed turned into a cold shower.

"The show's over, and she looks at me and says, 'I have to go to bed,'" Albo recounted to further laughter.