January 28, 2016

Carly Fiorina was laser-focused on Hillary Clinton during tonight's undercard debate. It's like watching Mean Girls, acted by aging CEOs.

It begins with Martha Meanie MacCallum reprising Carly's previous debate remarks about "loving to spend time with her husband."

Yes, there's a question that has a direct impact on policy. And Fiorina pounced on it, being as sexist as any man in the Republican field.

"But back in September, you stated that you would stick to the record -- your record versus Hillary Clinton's record, and never resort to personal attacks," MacCallum began. "So what changed?"

Fiorina was nonplussed, saying it wasn't a personal attack at all.

"I was pointing out the fact that Hillary Clinton will do anything to gain and hang onto power," she snarked.

"Listen, if my husband did what Bill Clinton did, I would have left him a long time ago."

This is the classic sexist trope applied to Hillary Clinton. All those "family values" are just so much air in the Republican atmosphere. When it comes to actually toughing out the hard parts, they'd just walk away. And Clinton didn't, because she needed a man to be qualified to run for office.

"Hillary Clinton has been climbing the ladder to try and get power and here now she is trying for the White House. She is probably more qualified for the big house, honestly."

Going for the classy approach, Fiorina tossed in this laugh line. "She has escaped prosecution more times than El Chapo, perhaps Sean Penn should interview her."

"She continues to lie to the American people. It's called the Clinton way. Both Bill and Hillary practice it, the Clinton way. Say whatever you have to say, do whatever you have to say. Lie as long as you can get away with it. Hillary Clinton cannot be the president of these United States," Fiorina concluded.

Fiorina cannot be president of these United States. There, I fixed it for her.

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