Drew Hammill, spokesman for Speaker Nancy Pelosi, issued this statement after last night's vicious attack:

“Earlier this morning, Paul Pelosi was attacked at home by an assailant who acted with force, and threatened his life while demanding to see the Speaker.

“Mr. Pelosi was admitted to Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital where he underwent successful surgery to repair a skull fracture and serious injuries to his right arm and hands. His doctors expect a full recovery.

“The Speaker and her family are thankful for the outpouring of support and prayers from friends, constituents and people around the country. The Pelosi family is immensely grateful to Mr. Pelosi’s entire medical team and the law enforcement officers who responded to the assault. The family appreciates respect for their privacy during this time.”

The Russia Republicans have tied themselves in knots, implying that the assassination attempt was 1) a false flag 2) a hookup gone wrong or 3) a drunken accident. Aren't they sweet?