From this Monday's The Colbert Report, Stephen took the so-called "tea party" group, FreedomWorks to task for their latest campaign to try to get young people to burn their "Obamacare cards." Just one problem though. There is no such thing as an "Obamacare card.
Nation, I hope you're ready, because you have to lock your lungs and batten down your colon, because Obamacare is coming. The individual mandate takes effect on New Year's Day, which means when the Times Square ball drops, it will immediately be checked for lumps.
Worse, folks, worse, this bloated bureaucratic program that will never work has started working. [...]
And Obamacare is being implemented despite the best efforts of House Republicans, who have voted to symbolically repeal it 39 times. I don't know why it's not working. Maybe they need to load more emptiness into their gestures.
Now the key to implementing Obamacare is the so-called individual mandate, because to keep premium costs down, officials say "they must register 2.7 million healthy people between the ages of 18 and 35 in order to counteract the costs of ensuring seniors and people with health problems."
Well, don't fall for it, young people! You don't need insurance! You're going to be young and healthy forever! I mean, just look at me, I'm 19! I mean, look at this awesome skateboard move! [...]
Now fortunately, the godfather of the Tea Party movement, FreedomWorks, recently announced a "Burn Your Obamacare Card" campaign. That's right, younglings. Protest this government overreach by lighting your insurance card on fire. But be careful, because if you burn yourself, you don't have health insurance.
Now, there's only one small problem with this "Burn Your Obamacare Card" plan. There are no such things as Obamacare cards. But FreedomWorks isn't letting a little thing like not existing get in its way, as their Vice President of Public Policy Dean Clancy explained:
DEAN CLANCY: FreedomWorks is going to design the Obamacare card ourselves. We're going to put that online, we're going to share it with people in the hopes that they will burn it, tear it up, mark on it.
Yes, burn it, tear it, mark it, but first, print it, cut it, and laminate it. FreedomWorks is opening up a whole new world of fighting symbols of injustice that don't exist. You know what? They should rent a bus, order themselves to sit at the back of the bus, then refuse to sit at the back of their own bus! Fight the power! Read on...