jokes | Crooks and Liars

General Mattis Rails On Trump: 'I Earned My Spurs On Battlefield'

"I earned my spurs on the battlefield," quipped General Mattis, "Donald Trump earned his at the doctor."

Elizabeth Warren: 'St. Patrick Drove Snakes Out Of Ireland...to Wall Street'

The newest Massachusetts senator jokes around during annual South Boston St. Patrick's Day Breakfast.

SATIRE WINS 5/4!: Let's Go Supreme Courting! Pun Intended. Absurdity Today With Julianna Forlano

Alternative titles for this week's episode: "Mexico: It's Not Just the Water That Will Make You Crap Your Pants." "Debby Does Florida and Rick Scott Undoes it." ENJOY! And leave a comment!!!

Schwarzenegger Mocks Rush Limbaugh, Mel Gibson

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger made a few jokes at the expense of Rush Limbaugh and Mel Gibson Wednesday. Speaking to the National Associati

Palinpalooza: Live Mic Left On, Reporters Call Palin "Dumb"

Another day, another fiasco for Sarah Palin. Technicians and reporters give a critique of her speech which is caught live. Sarah Jones at Politics

Open Thread

Amato and Cheney in a secret love nest?!? Mister Amato rebuffed attempts to question the 'experienced State Department Deputy' at his front door wit

More Than A Supportive Spouse, NBC Investigation Of Todd Palin's E-Mails Show Deep Involvement In Gubernatorial Decisions

When he was elected in 1992, Bill Clinton openly admitted that Hillary Rodham Clinton would be an active and engaged member of his inner team, with

Mike's Blog Round Up

Beggars Can Be Choosers: Vitter? Family Values? Yep. Post Tenebras Lux: A cheap holiday in other people's misery. Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes: B

What A Grand Irish Wake It Was! Friends And Family Remember Teddy

I rarely watch over-hyped television events, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Teddy Kennedy's wonderful Irish wake last night. Since I grew up

Todd Akin Jokes About Activists Lynching His Democratic Colleagues

From FiredUpMissouri: At a town hall meeting yesterday, Todd Akin mentioned that some of his Democratic colleagues in Congress "almost got lynched" w

Latest

Does Ambassador Taylor Sound Like Walter Cronkite?

Ambassador Taylor's spoke, and Twitter heard Walter Cronkite, the CBS News anchor so many of us remember from our childhood. (open thread)

Nov 13, 2019

By Frances Langum

C&L's Late Nite Music Club With Gino And The Goons

Dirty and broke, some goons still got rock-n-roll swagger.

Nov 13, 2019

By Dale Merrill

BURN: Jim Jordan Gets Completely Owned By Peter Welch In Epic Clapback

Jim Jordan continued to hammer home the frustration at not being allowed to question the whistleblower, but when he made the misstep about wanting to speak to the person who was the origin of the case, and his clapback was epic.

Nov 13, 2019

By Red Painter

As Supreme Court Considers DACA, 6 Essential Reads

The future remains uncertain for a group of young people who were brought from other countries to the U.S. as children without legal authorization.

Nov 13, 2019

By The Conversation

Rep. Tom Reed Needs A Constitution Refresher: Impeachment IS There

Rep. Tom Reed needs a civics class and Chuck Todd needs to be a bit quicker on his feet.

Nov 13, 2019

By Karoli Kuns

Latest from CLTV

Rep. Peter Welch Absolutely PWNS Gym Jordan

In an epic comeback, the Democratic Rep from Vermont threw Rep. Jordan back on his heels after he spent his time whining about the whistleblower.

Nov 13, 2019

By Aliza Worthington

GOP Rep Makes Ridiculous Assertion That Impeachment Isn't Congressional Oversight

Republican Rep. Tom Reed makes the ridiculous assertion that impeachment is not Congressional oversight because it may end up removing a president from office with little to no push back from "It's Not My Job To Fact-Check" Chuck Todd.

Nov 13, 2019

By Heather

Rep. Val Demmings Gets To Heart Of Impeachable Offense

During today's hearings with Amb. Taylor and Asst. Sec. of State Kent, Rep. Demmings zeroed right in on the reason Trump needs to be impeached.

Nov 13, 2019

By Aliza Worthington

Chris Wallace Reacts To Impeachment Hearing Openings: 'Very Damaging To The President'

Fox's Chris Wallace reacts to the opening remarks by Bill Taylor and George Kent during the first open impeachment hearing in the House.

Nov 13, 2019

By Heather

Bill Taylor Clashes With Jim Jordan For Calling Him A 'Star Witness' For The Democrats

Ukraine diplomat Bill Taylor shot back at Jim Jordan after he called him a "star witness" for the Democrats during the first round of impeachment hearings in the House.

Nov 13, 2019

By Heather

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