Crazy Eyes Bachmann Wants Central American Children Put In Indoctrination Camps (UPDATED)

Crazy Eyes Bachmann Wants Central American Children Put In Indoctrination Camps (UPDATED)

(UPDATE: It appears we were duped and this story is from a satire site. We apologize for the error.)

Leave it to Michele Bachmann to come up with loony tunes ideas for how best to handle the influx of children fleeing conditions in Central America.

Minnesota's KCTV7 reports on an interview Bachmann did last week:

Bachmann’s plan? Send those children to labor camps, which she warmly refers to as “Americanization Facilities,” with the goal of having them pay off their past, present, and future care expenses, while assimilating them into American culture. And in exchange for that labor, the children would be fast-tracked on a path to citizenship.

During an interview with Minnesota’s Twin Cities News Talk, Bachmann revealed her plan while addressing the border crisis. “I’m calling on all of us, Obama and Congress and everyone, to chip in and build special new facilities… `Americanization’ facilities, if you will. And we’d send these kids to these facilities, in Arizona and Texas and wherever else. And we’d get private sector business leaders to locate to those facilities and give these children low-risk jobs to do. And they’d learn about the American way of life, earn their keep, and everyone wins in the end.”

Conservative radio host Jason Lewis asked Bachmann about the camps, and what life might be like for the children sent to them. “Well, we’d of course want these facilities to be ideal, you know, for the children to work and learn. They’d spend half of their day working, and the other half learning what every child should learn, and that’s English, you know, English and American history. And as soon as they learn English with some degree of fluency, they can attend local schools, maybe with a voucher program, or something like that. And then they could work when they aren’t in school.”

“I think this is a great way to bring businesses into the Texas and Arizona areas, and maybe other states struggling with low employment opportunities, thanks mostly to Obama’s policies,” Bachmann continued. “Once these kids grow up, they’d leave a big gap of new job opportunities, and that’s what this is all about. It’s about opportunity, not just for these kids but for the American people. It helps the businesses, and if we can raise fifty-thousand God-fearing, English-speaking Americans, who understand real American values, then I’d say it’s a job well done.”


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So let me see if I have this right. They're sent to "Americanization camps" which I would call indoctrination facilities. Those little 4 and 5 year old kids are expected to work to earn their keep because businesses could pay them nothing. And as an added bonus, we'll cook 50,000 or so little God-fearing Republicans in the process!

With compassion like that, who needs beatings?

Karoli's endnote: Yeah, I got pwned. How sad is it that it was just this side of realistic enough to believe in the first place. When you have a reputation for making outrageous and ridiculous comments, it becomes easier and easier to believe something that should have been dismissed out of hand.

Live and learn.

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