The Confederate Yankee Theory of Employment, Interest and Money
Howdy, everyone! My name's Brad Reed and I'm comin' over here from Sadly, No! where I spent many a glorious year making fun of jerks. At any rate, I thought I'd introduce myself to y'all by bringing you the novel economic theories of one of my favoritest conservative bloggers ever, Bob "Confederate Yankee" Owens.
Last week, Bob discussed his novel theory on unemployment. Now, there are several reasons why unemployment is so high in America right now. One is that we had a decade of economic growth that was based on an $8 trillion housing bubble that saw the vast amounts of capital invested in houses that no one wants to buy. Another is that the housing bubble left in its wake more than 2 million construction workers who now face long-term structural unemployment since the housing boom is unlikely to return anytime soon. And then there's the problem that there's inadequate aggregate demand needed to boost overall consumption that would lead more businesses to hire and... OK, so you get the picture.
But Owens doesn't have any use for none of that fancy-pants economics talk. When he sees that there's 10% unemployment, his gut tells him what the real problem is:
THEY'S JES' LAZY!
By stopping unemployment benefits, the Senate will force those lazy Americans enjoying "funemployment" to get off their backsides and get back to work.
This is pretty awesome. I mean, you'd expect seasoned political operatives such as Mr. Yankee to do the smart thing and blame unemployment entirely on Obama's $700 billion stimulus check made out to ACORN. But instead of doing the politically savvy thing, he goes Full Metal St00pid and blames the unemployed.
Next he'll deliver a weaselly qualifier to show us that he's not, you know, a little bit empathetic to people who have lost their jobs...
I know that many long-term unemployed people have made a sincere effort to return to work...
...before reverting back to form:
...but I know for a fact that many haven't.
Given the weight of the charges that Mr. Yankee has leveled here -- i.e., that everyone who has lost their job over the past two years is nothing more than a shameless drifter living off government largess -- you'd think he'd provide some solid evidence to back it up. And indeed, he comes to the table with some of the strongest type of evidence known to man: namely, the anecdotal kind:
As everyone like anecdotes, I can mention the stories of one of my brother and my two brothers-in-law. My brother was in construction management, one of my brothers-in-law is in auto body shop management, and the other brother-in-law is a mid-level manager.
All three lost jobs within the past two years due to their companies facing economic woes. My brother immediately sent out resumes and spoke with industry contacts in his area, and was re-employed—working longer hours at less pay—within a month. With his work ethic, I suspect he be promoted once an opportunity becomes available.
My brother-in-law the body shop manager has gone through a string of layoffs in south Florida, but never was out of work for long because he was willing to compromise and take less than he thought he was worth to support his family. He even moved from Florida to North Carolina in pursuit of work opportunities, and seems to be making a good impression at his new shop.
My brother-in-law the middle-manager has been under-employed over a year. He works a part-time job and collects unemployment.
When he does get interviews, he torpedoes them. He recently told a perspective employer that what they were offering salary-wise wasn't good enough.
These anecdotes run true almost everywhere.
Similarly, I have a brother-in-law who was spent his whole life working as a first-class surgeon and when he was laid off from his hospital after it was taken over by Obamacare he could only get a job offer as a Wal-Mart greeter. And do you know how he repaid Wal-Mart for offering them this fine, prestigious position? Why he pulled down his pants and done peed right on that thar floor!
This goes to prove that all highly-paid surgeons enjoy spraying their bodily fluids in public places, or something like that. Much like Confederate Yankee, I've forgotten what this useless anecdote was supposed to prove.
Consigning 999 families to a life of poverty, homeless shelters and health-insurance-less early, preventable deaths, is worth it to stick it to that 1,000th unemployment freeloader who's a hippie who's "finding himself" while on the dole.
we are a lively bunch,as you know.the best blog just got better.
....the fools do not realize,a population that can ,..... not paticipate .............in the 'economy'...,can not keep it viable!..........."we are listening,.......and we're not blind.,......this is your life....this is your time."
welcome
________________
common sense matters as much as truth
As a newbie you can probably get away with asking the powers that be around here why we caint mention the truth about you-know-when
or the thing on the neck of what's-her-name.
Lots of us regulars are real curious but they ignore us in bold type.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
The thing on the neck of what's-her-name?
That's John Edwards!
I'm here all week folks. The 9 o'clock show is completely different from the 7 o'clock...
that that particular conservatard is an @$$H0LE.
________________
common sense matters as much as truth
when he finds out there's an article about him HERE, he'll give it linky love, and his arsehole army will be over a-trollin' for feuds.
me-oww!
I gots to go to the bank and use my state issued debit card to cash my unemployment electronic transfer.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
I gotta brush my toof, with my state-issued toofbrush.
me-oww!
That government cheese on the breath puts off the interviewers right from the git go.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
Maybe, but usually they don't stray to far out of their bubble. Spending to much time a feudin here might mess up their story line. Most of them would just rather not know.
Welcome Brad. I'm familiar with your stuff. Love it. Glad to have you on my favorite blog.
n'all is management. None of them workers. A REAL progressive paradigm involves an archive of ancedotes about workers being screwed by relatives just like these. As for the surgeon, he was probably confused because the nurse didn't come scrub him first.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
Now that I knows what the problem is, we can get to work kicking some unemployed butts! America, f*ck yeah!
A former award-winning journalist and lifelong class warrior, keeping a jaundiced eye on the Washington elite.
sisters all married below their station.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
They all wanted to marry Colonel Lingus
Colonel Angus around here for years."
me-oww!
Col Lingus is Col Angus' yankee counterpart. He couldn't find work and is now collecting unemployment.
I suggest we all take up a collection to pay TIDOS Wankee's employer to introduce him to the joys of "funemployment." Give what I know of this whackjob he couldn't even get a job as a Wal-Mart greeter.
got laid off was a brain surgeon if he was applying for a job at Wal Mart. Of course they are laying off all surgeons, right and left. There just isn't any demand for brain surgeons anymore.
now that they got that Viagra stuff.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
because most Americans don't have brains.
n/t
collapsing inward.
It's like a bacon sandwich which uses bacon instead of the bread.
Although often they cut the bread in little cubes and include it so it doesn't go to waste.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
.
taste my carrot. And I haven't the nerve to ask about the other salad vegans.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
Brad made this "fun" and you just made it "funner". Guess that story about you, the carrot and my dog will live on forever even after the flavor is gone.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
and that carrot will be chewy when the moment is right.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
pulls some strange facts from somewheres. An orifice? Or is it an oracle? Oracle just shitcanned a load of future lazy arses of America I just read, BTW. But they were Sun people, so that's ok, I guess.
me-oww!
fannie mae has a new policy for "strategic defaulters"
http://www.housingwire.com/2010/06/25/fannie-...
so do the banks
http://www.housingwatch.com/2010/06/18/lender...
of course they decide who is a "strategic defaulter"
plenty of jobs in the military though, empire has it's needs; perhaps these unemployed could go to work for our peace prize president.
still and all, none of these problems will be solved long term until our economy is reformed. we can extend unemployment indefinitely, but once more, until we start taking raw materials and do old fashioned measurable work, in order to produce objects of classic utility value, we are spinning our wheels. what the dems need to be bringing up is nationalization of industries in the extreme, and at the least punitive taxes and tariffs for products not produced here. oh yeah, i have heard all the "global village" and "free trade" crap, how is that working out for us? these necesarry reforms will never be brought up for discussion, not by "bloody barack", not by ms. pelosi, not by any elected official, because it would displease their corporate masters.
You're suggesting that Americans actually MAKE useful things? We are so past that.
Having done the jobless shuffle in past recessions, I'll bet that many of the help wanted ads are for telemarketing or sales with commission pay. Find people to throw their energy into pitching some bullshit product or scheme and they'll work at it until they find they can't make enough money to survive, unless one is a natural born liar. There's always work for crooks.
Republican strategy 101. Which me wonder: which of the 5 applicants for every job out there do Republicans think is lazy?
Let's all remember we wouldn't have high unemployment if anti-American corporations didn't send all the work overseas. Now China's talking about starting a social security system and we're talking about why we have to gut ours.
Supporters of corporate conservatism should be the only ones unemployed.
It's the sixth. And he probably wouldn't fit in with his co-workers due to his overqualification anyway and we can't count on him staying on the job until the next round of layoffs in the first place.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
No, No ricky! 10% of Americans are lazy asses. At least! Hell 50% of the gold bricks didn't even pay any taxes. It's all on the backs of Confederate Yankee and his friends and they are getting darned tired of carrying everybody else!
Oh yes, they are also very humble people.
A "perspective employer"?
Is this someone who hires you to look at things, or is it someone who helps you to put being unemployed into, ummmmm.....perspective?
I have been a fan of you and SadlyNo for awhile.
As a follower of Mr. Yankee, what was he saying back in ought eight
when Phil Gramm PhD. was saying all this economic whining was just in our heads. Did he write about how well all his brothersn'them was doing?
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
Hell, the unemployed deserve the money more than most of the employed in DC. At least the unemployed are looking for work as opposed to the members of congress who just pretend they are actually at work.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
... there's a disparity between someone asking for an extension on a benefit that grants barely minimum-wage earnings and corporate whores who remain on the taxpayer dole for decades.
Pretty much the only way to stay on the government dole for decades anymore is through disability. Remember welfare reform. What ever good it did do it didn't stop the self righteous from ranting on like it never happened.
... then how is it that executives are entitled to six-figure bonuses and stock options? Wouldn't it make sense that the more you offer, that you'll attract even more worthless and lazy sorts?
For that matter, why do you believe you're entitled to a paycheck at all? Clearly, doing without is a great motivator! Imagine the heights to which America could rise if we paid everyone nothing! (We can start with Congress, IMHO.)
great motivator?
A person who has never felt the pangs of hunger.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
... "low food security" as a term instead of hunger.
who suggested it through a transparent processor.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
Look at poor Glenn Beck. He's taken a job way below his station in life. I mean just watch a week of his shows and you can plainly see that instead of being a verbal rodeo clown he is clearly a prophet of god and would make way more money if God would just hire him on as his right hand man. I hear there have been secret conversations when he visited the Vatican, but as yet nothing has come from those talks.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
http://www.examiner.com/x-11326-Liberal-Exami...
Yep, I saw it on Colbert's show when it happened and laughed like crazy.
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
"By stopping unemployment benefits, the Senate will force those lazy Americans enjoying "funemployment" to get off their backsides and get back to work."
B-b-but I thought the other side of their argument has been that the $700 billion Obama/Dem stimulus bill "didn't work" and "didn't create any jobs".
How can it be that people whose unemployment benefits are cut will find jobs that haven't been created?
hmmm. Me think "Confederate Yankee" and his side speak with forked tongue.
I think confederate yankee makes sum great points. His B-I-Laws are forced to work for less pay and have to suck up to their employers with the hopes that someday a little pennance will be thrown their way. That's how the elites want it to be. They want us groveling at their knees and not making a stink about anything at our jobs while working for less than adequate wages while they live high on the hog. It's the concept of a 2-class society; a few rich elites with lavish riches and the rest of us fighting over scraps of bread.
Penance: Actions undertaken to earn forgiveness.
Pittance: A measly amount. The essence of Reagan's trickle-down economy.
CY proves the erosion of the middle class and the wage deflation. It has been flat, now if you want a job, expect negative wage growth. Even with that, one moved from a Republican run state to a Democratic run state to get work and the other relies on the government to fight wage deflation.
Great anecdotes!
And penance is fine. He must do penance to the employer for having previously considered himself an uppity working class. Once he can show he will never think that again, the employer may safely reward him with a new title and more duties without a pay increase.
Say, have we won the race to the bottom yet?
we see debtors prisons. I shudder even thinking about it. But I am sure it will not be far off.
for ending slavery was economic. If the PTB's decide it is desirable again, well at least this time it might be color blind.
Be as you wish to seem
So on target ep3! How long since work or hiring or advancement was based on merit? Certainly it may be a factor but much more of a factor is figuring out a way to pay you less.
I imagine it's a blast to sit at home and worry about losing your home, losing your insurance and wondering how you are going to pay for what your kids need for school. Talk about a vacation, this has to be a real get-away. Plus the fun of the whole family gathering around and praying that the postman isn't late bringing that unemployment check each week or month. Yeah, who wouldn't want to live like that, Mr. Yankee? Ever done it? Let me tell you from the memories of my childhood, it's hell!
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.
Instead of "Confederate Yankee," How about "Plagiarizing Red Neck Mofo?" Or his Indian name, "He Who Erroneously Fancies Himself Clever and Wise."
Most states let big banks disperse unemployment benefits through debit cards for a fee. And the longer the money remains untapped they get to count it as an asset on their books for the purpose of packaging delicious derivative sandwiches.
“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder
It's the "handouts", of course.
That's what will break the back of the USA.
The circular logic used by these idiots is truly amazing. So, unemployment is well into double digits, but people are just lazy.
FWIW, I was out of work for 10 months. I was making 65K as a sys admin. You're goddamned right I didn't take a lower paying shit IT job just to get back to work. 15 bucks an hour? Then what? How am I supposed to get back to doing what I am really paid to do?
Other than those couple instances, I spent just about every waking hour trying to get a fucking job. So fuck him.
Now, we all should have to work until we're 70 (jobs or not), so we can keep our various wars going. Apparently, justly taxing the rich has never occurred to Orangeman.
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
Hunter S. Thompson
As long as they include mention that SOME unemployed people are "sincerely trying" (that's YOU and the people you know, not all those lazy people out there that are ruining everything for you), they can even appeal to the audience they're directly exploiting. People love to be told that they are right, and to be told to do what they're already doing.
Everyone knows SOMEONE they don't think is working hard enough to find work, and everyone intuitively knows that if their employer goes bankrupt or skips town, everyone loses, so a narrative that blames a "lazy majority" can easily gain traction, because it's literally the least you can do. You may not have the power to make legislative changes, or even, through community action, negotiate (and possibly fail) against exploitative employers, but it's incredibly easy to sit back and judge your peers.
... reality-tv mentality we've developed.
We're ALL on someone's list: too lazy, too rich, too short, too good-looking, not good-looking enough, too far right, too far left, wrong skin color.
But we don't get to vote people off the island in real life.
I hope we don't get to that point though.
If almost everyone on unemployment was lazy and not really looking for work, then wouldn't the few sincere employment searchers have their choice of jobs?
and wages would have to go up to fill the positions. Not what is happening.
...I think every Lib website could use a little Sadly, No!
Welcome Brad!
:D
If BP can't destroy the environment with impunity, how can any of us be free?
you would think if there was so many jobs available they would offer higher wages and benefits competing for the high qualified unemployed.
this is capitalism doing its thing.
if it did not do its thing the universe would not have laws.
if we understand the evils of capitalism we would rejoyce at the self destruction of capitalism.
did anyone really think that an economic system based on human greed and profits over people would not self destruct?
wall street is a classic example of this human greed and the hands off approach to capitalism will have on the wealth of a nation.
to say nothing of the suffering capitalism will have on other nations as capitalism does its thing with imperialism and its wars for profits.
it is the system, it is the system, it is the system,
naw keep blaming the glen becks of the world and dont look at your beloved system called capitalism.
americans love affair with capitalism will end but not before we are well on our way to third world status.
best kept secret in the world: communism, socialism, and capitalism must self destruct the universe demands it.
ever hear of a social democracy? thought not.
... so, what is this 'social democracy'?
So far, all I've seen is classic rants against capitalism, how we're all blind, and how you're blessed with the Light of the True Answer.
True. The purer the capitalism the more true the phrase "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer". 10% have 85% of the wealth already. Once they get to 100% it's game over. Better create some more money quick!
Shadowgm. I won't say I have the light of the true answer but I think we do need to do better. We need to talk about it.
We have technology taking over. It is inevitable. That is not all bad. We have the ability to produce abundantly. The only thing that stops us is planned obsolescence,scarcity as price control and demand for continued and ever rising profits.
I could go on but there is something to ponder.
I think Doofus set up a pretty tricky straw man there with his argument that we should just suck it up and take lesser jobs. The two guys that did that worked in respectively construction and auto repair. There are jobs available for people who know how to use a hammer to take apart a tranny if willing. But the third guy? All he said was that he was middle-management. What the heck does that encompass? And what kind of job is now available to him in this economy? He totally sets up a false-equivalency of available work and available jobs. Not fair.
And from what I've read, a fairly good one. I've always felt satire was the best instrument for eviscerating stupidity. Welcome.
Hasa Diga Eebowai
The only thing a confederate deserves in America is death.
Traitorous filth.
I'm guessing the one lazy SOB brother was a liberal.
First, seems a bit hasty to say that nobody wants to buy those houses. A lot of people would love to buy them (I mean little guys seeking to fulfill their dreams, not speculators). But they're out of work.
Second, why do persons who are being attacked as lazy, shiftless, etc. take this kind of crap? Why isn't someone organizing them? Where's the equivalent of the veterans' march on Washington (stopped by MacArthur at the head of federal troops)?
Oh. I forgot. They have no 24/7 TV and radio saturation. Quite the contrary. As heard here, they are attacked by hate-talk TV and radio. In fact, they're seldom defended and encouraged by Palin's "lamestream" media. And they have no equivalent of FreedomWorks to fund them from behind the curtains.
These attacks are so cruel and so … well, enough.
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