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Watching Glenn Beck descend into yet another of his bizarre chalkboard rants earlier this week, it occurred to me I had heard a similar theory once: Miss Anne Elk's Theory on Brontosauruses.

The Wikipedia entry observes:

The skit coined the concept of "Elk Theories" to describe scientific observations that are not theories but merely minimal accounts.

I've also heard the term "Elk Theories" used to describe hypotheses that mean nothing and prove nothing.

Which, you know, is what Beck's bizarre "six degrees" guilt-by-association "theory" comes down to. One can play this game with anyone. It wouldn't take six degrees to connect Glenn Beck to Adolf Hitler or Osama bin Laden or Timoth McVeigh, if he wants to play that game. But it wouldn't prove anything, would it?

Except, of course, that Glenn Beck is becoming so detached from reality that his programs are now unintentional comedy skits. And no, Glenn, we're not laughing with you. We're laughing at you.

Enjoy the mashup.

For the Python fans who find it sacrilegious to run the "Miss Anne Elk" skit alongside Glenn Beck, here's the original version from Monty Python's Flying Circus, Episode 31 (1972):

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And for the true aficionados, here's the audio file of the original version of the skit, which first appeared on Monty Python's Previous Record (1972). It's actually much, much funnier:

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94 Comments

No such thing as a brontosaurus. The animal is known as Apatosaurus.

Also, a little known fact, the head that was placed on the original brontosaurus/apatosaurus was wrong. The depiction of the apatosaur that we all grew up with, really small head and really huge body was incorrect.


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

Artist formerly known as gempei's picture

Then who wrote Jane Eyresaurus?

Cute. Not clever...but cute. ; o )


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

i'm giving it clever as well as cute.

the original fossil skeleton was found in an area that actually contained three heads. when the mount was made they simply chose the one that 'fit' best. the new mount corrected that error as well as the dragging tail.

Ferrofluid's picture

they fitted the head at the wrong end...

Eric.Arthur.Blair's picture

The bronto/apato debate remained the province of back room discussions and obscure paleontology journals until the mid-'70s or so, after Monty Python whote the "Anne Elk" sketch.

Besides, I saw on TV that Fred Flintstone eats "Bronto Burgers", so it must be true!

Are Beck's meds not covered under his employer medical plan?


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

Wasting Time's picture

I laughed my buttosaurus off when he sort of sing-songed "...along came a spider..."

Now that's funny!

Glenn Beck is a escaped mental patient.

taller ghost walt's picture

It would prove a lot connecting Glenn Beck to bin Laden, McVeigh or especially Hitler.

It would prove Beck as much a waste to society as those other three.

Bainbridge22's picture

Connect him to Warren Jeffs.

That Mick Piobr's picture

ain't right.

ronnie dobbs's picture

jesus.

ricky's picture

who will repeatedly refer to something as Elk theory. I wish them and their elk ill.


“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder

Evet's picture

Beckywingnutville

mudshark's picture

That I've ever seen.
Hell He could have picked anyone to start that rant off with. Attila the Hun, Napoleon,John Wayne, The Queen of England. Anybody.

I gotta agree with Mick up there. The guy ain't right.
No really, the guy is out to lunch, and it's breakfast time.
How does this bozo stay on tv? I know the fux thing. But really. How did this guy get a job on tv? He's delusional.
I think the tv stations owe the country a little more responsibility for what they put on their shows.
Yeah,yeah I know.
need more coffee.


What is your conceptual, continuity?

while trying to fall asleep. I really have no idea WTF he was trying to illustrate. Turned the channel after about 60 seconds. Amazing that people watch a full half-hour of this shit every night.

And they say that rock or rap music is bad for ya..


"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."

---Southwest Airlines

mudshark's picture

That I watched most(almost all of it) of one of these clips about Beckistan.
The clown really has slipped further into mental illness.
As other people have stated, the scary part is he has a following.
A cult like following. Someone down thread said "This will end badly."

I couldn't agree more. And he'll take people with him.


What is your conceptual, continuity?

ctalk's picture

These clowns, wingnuts, and pundits have become a freak sideshow in the age of Obama. Presented for your amusement on blogs everywhere.


Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. Albert Einstein

Evet's picture

. .

Obama and Chairman Mao. Makes perfect sense to me. And so obvious I'm surprised anyone had to point it out.

mudshark's picture

Why not use Stalin? To obvious?
I'm surprised he didn't use Nikita Khrushchev. I wanna see the Prez go to the UN and start pounding the podium with his shoe.
Then throw it at Beckistan.


What is your conceptual, continuity?

fastfeat's picture

"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."

---Southwest Airlines

I’m 56 of age, in my live time I would say the most deprived person that lived at same time as me time on this planted is Kissinger. He fired bomb children and women just for the feel of ultimate power; He was no different then Stalin or Hitler. There are so many atrocities he was a part of, but to see his smiling face as he shook hands with Chairman Mao, the same Mao who helped kill 150,000 US military men, many that where drafted in Vietnam makes me just sick. Any agreements?

I know the gut reaction is to laugh about this... but this is not funny. There comes a tipping point that should have been reached some time ago. Glenn Beck is accusing the president (during wartime and an economic crisis, might I add) of being a Communist and a Mao supporter using evidence that any journalist or judge would laugh at. You know what this would have been 200 years ago? A man shouting in the center of town every week about how the president is a traitor. And that's what it comes down to, and people are watching, and they need to remove that "NEWS" logo from the screen.

Evet's picture

Big Money isn't that what Capitalism is all about?

where government acts like our Daddy?

"Nanny State" is Codeword BS. It's just an idiot Talking Point that is there only to rally resistance to Regulation.

The so-called "Nanny State" Glass/Steagall was replace by the Non Regulation Gramm/Leach/Bliley... and the economic situation were in now is the result.


~albabe (The Writer/Artist Formally Known As Al Gordon)

http://www.comicon.com/gordon/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Gordon

Handypants's picture
OMG

"A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad."

Bob Edwards


"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that!
" ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )

Frank Zappa

Handypants's picture
...

"Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not."

Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)


"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that!
" ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )

Urgent message to the Becker: "They're coming to take you away, hahah!"


ljmel

fastfeat's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXZMZ-XvvzI

Really should be beckerhead's theme music...


"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."

---Southwest Airlines

Is Beck going to have his invisible friend on during sweeps week?


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

Ferrofluid's picture

he is there in the background.

Beck is sinking deeper and deeper into paranoia. When his television audience begins to vanish, and it will eventually, he is going to crash badly. This guy thrives on the adoration of an audience and without that he won't be able to keep it together. His life is not going to end well.

theWalrus's picture

is imagining Beck's loyal viewers watching and nodding in approval.

He has created little monsters everywhere.

The disturbing part is he actually sees his audience sitting in front of him.


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

bonsai pajamas's picture

Glenn Beck works for Roger Ailes.
Roger Ailes is an executive of a network that enjoyed routine access to and received talking points from the George W. Bush administration.
George W. Bush is the grandson of Prescott Bush who was known to have made business deals with Adolph Hitler.
Hence, Beck is a Nazi sympathizer. That explains why he hates America and wants her to lose.

Turn the Bluegrass Blue's picture

...he may be looking for any diversion that would delay the investigation into the rape and murder of a girl in 1990. I have a special direct hotline to Glenn Beck in my home should he finally feel compelled to confess his crime. But, of course, he's yet to address it, which obviously means...

Excelsior's picture

It's a glaring giveaway that Beck still refuses to deal with this question. I'm not saying he's a perverted, bloodthirsty criminal or anything, but his refusal to deny these charges does force one to wonder: what is he hiding?


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

wild magnolia's picture

are far less tenuous than glen's. if there was world enough and time, i would wish to see someone do this rant of beck's with the above mentioned characters. i mean really break it down and do it word for word.

malmarti's picture

he's a fucking moron. i can't believe anyone takes that wanker seriously. it's absurd.

rockybelt's picture

I love Monty Python but I cannot stand to look at nor can I stand to listen to that baby faced idiot that calls himself Glenn Beck.

What is his real name and where does he really come from?

I think his name is Insanity from the planet Stoooopid?

(just guessing here)


"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that!
" ~ Tom Lehrer (1928 - )

pissed off patricia's picture

Okay, correct or not, I did laugh my skinny ass off during this particular show. When he tried to do the little spider song, it showed just how unraveled he has become. But my favorite part now is the guy he makes sit by the red phone waiting for the white house to call on beck's "speecial" number. I don't know how much answer guy gets paid but it must be a whole lot. His sitting there like that is a perfect representation of beck's show. Sitting by the phone waiting for someone from the white house to call. As if.


Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.

I think Olberman should call.


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

pissed off patricia's picture

He can't because it's a "special number" for the phone and only the white house and beck have the "special number".

It's pathetic in a funny sort of way.


Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.

Turn the Bluegrass Blue's picture

More than likely, it's not even plugged in.

Ohhh...like it actually being plugged in would matter. I'm sure Beck takes calls on that phone all day.


Vote GOP and move forward to the 18th Century.

Do you think Commissioner Gordon calls him?

The guys in the white suits call to check on his progress, although progress in Becks case would have to be subjective.


'Talk to the hand'

fastfeat's picture

.


"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."

---Southwest Airlines

This is the first clip I've watched of Beck. I really don't care what he thinks, but something made me click on the button. Now, I'm sorry I did. THIS is the level to which his viewers have sunk? What a disturbing thought for the future of this country, that there are enough ignorant people out there to make this fool popular.

Unlike sex, the more you do it (listen to beck), the worse you feel and the more child-like you become...


"Parachutes are allowed in checked or carry-on baggage, but may not be worn in flight."

---Southwest Airlines

ricky's picture

that includes neither adulthood, elk, brontosauri, or Glenn Beck.


“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder

Excelsior's picture

There have always been more willfully ignorant, barely educated cloth-eating morons in this country than we'd like to admit. It's just that the advent of 24-hour news channels and the internet have now made their numbers generally known, whereas before they were hidden due to lack of communication. Believe it, bro - this has never been a country with a majority of sane people in it.


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

MGA1619's picture

but wasn't Richard Nixon a Republican? Who knows what exactly Henry Kissinger (shudder) is. I seem to remember a time way back in the dark ages, somewhere around 1972, that a certain president of the United States, namely Richard Nixon, got all warm and toasty with Chairman Mao. Since then pretty well every president since has had a hard on for the totalitarian paradise of China. How come Beck didn't put Nixon or Bush or Reagan up instead of Obama? Another case of IOKIFYAR? Just wondering is all.

trying to get up a game of Pong. Pester Russkies. Tear Down that Wall. Obama is trying to find a place for his picture of Hugo Chavez.


“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder

Excelsior's picture

of Six Degrees. It's easy to cherry-pick the connections that support your argument and ignore the ones that demolish it. That's why any sane person understands that, while it's fun, it's basically a useless, meaningless exercise.


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

Charles Wilton's picture

Good analogy, except that Anne Elk's theory is actually true, if obvious. Beck's theory is so laden with fallacy and falsehood, well, let's just say that I want some of what he is smoking.

without the spider part.


“Why would anyone with a functioning brain believe this guy?”
Some guy with an eating disorder

pissed off patricia's picture

He did have a hardship as his little show and tell signs and pictures kept sliding down the board upon which he was explaing his theory.


Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean.

Yeah, it was the flaw in my ointment. Watching him announce his "theory," though, I just couldn't resist.

Excelsior's picture

the fly in my ointment. Without the whole image, the metaphor kinda breaks down, there.


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

I feel for the people that monitor Beck and thank them for keeping us informed of his bullshit. Its only a matter of time before one of the simpleton that believe his rants kills someone, thinking it will start the new revolution. I have heard him before, after five minutes he makes me feel sick. The truth is I’d rather clean public toilets then have to listen to one full radio show of his, either way I would feel like I need a shower when finished. He only in it for the money!

Mutton Jeff's picture

At least Ann Elk's "theory", minimal as it was, was based on factual and correct observation. It was just obvious. Beck, on the other hand, is just making shit up, without any basis in reality, in an attempt to smear the White House.

General Jack D. Ripper's picture

Thanks to a very painful broken rib, I've been able to avoid people like Beck the past 2 or 3 weeks.

Now that I've seen this Beck clip, I wish I could get another broken rib!

Monty Python was great, however! Love the Pythons!

3 of them were on Keith's show last night....they mentioned that even today, it appears that they are most effective with 11 year old boys....that's about the time I think I started watching them!

It's the Monty Python 40th anniversary coming up.....IFC has a special on them beginning this coming Sunday evening. Can't wait!

Rascalcat's picture

You can say just about any damn thing and they think it is real, factual news.

Glenn Blecht, self-appointed leader of the Stoopids.

what exactly is he talking about? really. it is this; beck has some refrigerator magnets with pictures on them, and by placing them in proximity to each other it reveals a relationship between the people picutured.

fretboard's picture

And he makes that fact more apparant each and every day.

http://www.glennbeckisanidiot.com

weslen1's picture

A SPIDER! AND a DEADLY SPIDER AT THAT! Now we need a bumper sticker covered with spider bodies with Glenn Beck and other Rethuglican FACES and use the movie title, with permission of course, KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS!

ronhohn's picture

.. kind of ironic, what became evident during the teabagger parties, as they professed they have 'learned' from Hannity, Beck and Limbaugh, that they hold them in high esteem?

The first is a 3-time drop out from school, the second never went, the third dropped out the first year.


If you need funds to pay for essentials, you have a revenue problem
If you need funds to pay for frivolity, you have a spending problem

Excelsior's picture
No

Irony gets its humor from an unexpected connection. Did you really find that information unexpected?


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

futt the wuck's picture

I think this about covers where this guy is coming from.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXZMZ-XvvzI

Robt's picture

This Beck episode can cause an atheist to say, " What in God's name"?

Does Beck's viewers understand what he talks about about?

ALEJCARO's picture

Amazing!!. And this passes as journalism over at FOX REPUBLICAN NEWS.
BBC HISTORY MAGAZINE has a similar game titled 6 degrees of Francis Bacon in each issue, and they can tie just about everyone in the past to Francis Bacon through ludicrous connections, but the magazine knows that, and plays it that way, and it is kind of funny.

Glenn Beck, however, doesn't know that he's an idiot. Professionals say that the first step to recovery from mental instability is to acknowledge that one has a problem. Glenn Beck needs counseling, and as good Samaritans, we should help him acknowledge that he's an idiot.


ALEJCARO

Old Billy's picture

Barney Frank had it right. "I'd rather have a conversation with a dining room table..."

PS This is why Obama shouldn't have catapulted Van Jones. If the guy was a good appointment, stick with him. It only lends respectability to these idiots when concessions are made.

How can one compromise with this? "Let's meet half way, I want Israelis to stop building illegal settlements; you want the Venusians to wear blue jerseys when they take on the Communists in your imaginary Rumpusbowl extravaganza."

After all, didn't that '7 degrees of seperation' game start with Kevin Bacon?

Excelsior's picture

The name comes from the play Six Degrees of Separation, which got made into a film starring Will Smith, Donald Sutherland, and Stockard Channing. (Brilliant film, highly recommend it.)

It was only after the film came out that the game featuring Kevin Bacon eventually became popular.


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

ysbaddaden's picture
)O(

I liked the movie, but not the ending.

It was like oh well there's some tragedy, but at least our shallow yuppie lifestyle has been justified.


Diabolus est Deus Inversus

Do they keep the joker to make everyone else looks more professional?

Beck's ramblings are as incoherant as the things shouted by the urine soaked street corner preachers, who mutter to themselves, and declare (via bullhorn) that those who don't worship Jesus would burn in Hell.....

I thought for a time this was all an act, but Beck might seriously be crazy...

miss_kitty's picture

even juxtaposed with the fabulous Monty Python sketch...he's just too goddamned lyingly hyperbolic and still doing the infantile morning zoo shit.

Excelsior's picture

I can't even stomach looking at a picture of him. Whenever one pops up anywhere on the net, I Adblock it instantly.


There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby. - Tom Waits

TomR's picture

Except, of course, that Glenn Beck is becoming so detached from reality that his programs are now unintentional comedy skits.

Let me ask you, have you ever heard of the "War on Terror"? This frame is actually permanently welded into your brain by now, even though it's an absurd false framing of reality. You cannot remove it from your brain, a war against a tactic used to justify anything and everything the Bush administration wanted to do.

So, anytime Beck creates false narratives linking various people together and repeats it often enough to his audience, those false structures get implanted into those brains, regardless if they are consciously aware of it or not.

Read The Political Mind by Dr. George Lakoff. We must take very seriously every instance of false framing that gets shot daily through a fire hose at millions of Fox News viewers and conservative talk radio listeners.

This is how we get our Timothy McVeigh's of the world.

- Tom

Kim C's picture

Have you got a good solution to the problem? Can we stop this propaganda machine?
We tried getting his advertisers to quit. They did, many of them, but he's still on. Can we do that until the conservatives are broke? They have most of the money so it would take a while....

dawgbalz's picture

I would expect that a sixth grader making that his oral presentation would be graded poorly for unsupported assertions and an overall poor effort. Yet a "news" channel is allowing this guy to embarrass them every day. Is there an editor to answer to? How does that mess get by? A teaching assistant grading this as a college paper would be writing in red pen "how do you support this argument?".

Sadly, most of the dunderheads in his audience are susceptible to this silly nonsense because the already hate non-conservatives. In other words they WANT to believe it. Just when you thought our political discourse couldn't devolve further-Glen Beck has a show. So, let fox become more of a joke and let the independents laugh at the right as their power leaches away.

ysbaddaden's picture
)O(

I've been having that same problem with clearing my voice for days now.

And it was Dallas PBS that sprung Monty Python on an unsuspecting America.


Diabolus est Deus Inversus

fil hussein oaks's picture

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.gif

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

Arrrrrgh!

May you be touched by His noodliy appendage.

jmmartin's picture

You have to remember, Beck took Rush too seriously when the latter told his audiences he would debate anyone with one half of his brain tied behind his back. Beck volunteered for lobotomy and this is what we get. My feeling is that he has permanent nourishment neurosis as a result of becoming infatuated with his mother's nursing, then suddenly withdrawn, perhaps bottle-fed, such that he has separation anxiety. I think Roger should get him some Zanax, then stage a publicity bust like Limbaugh's -- for Oxycontin. Ought to boost the ratings.


"Respect for the rights of others is peace." --Benito Juarez

"They keep separating him until they find someone you will tolerate"
Happily Glenn,the protector of the one true America won't tolerate anyone to the Left of Nixon.

BTW,does Lonesome sound a tad constipated to anyone else?
That growl in his "comedic" delivery sounds like he's pinching a loaf in his shorts.


"To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And,
at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in between,
plus some things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing."
This is truth, to me. "

-Jack Handy

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