George Bush offered first post-presidential job
By SilentPatriot Saturday Feb 07, 2009 9:00am
Too funny to pass up.
Many may be familiar with the Wal-Mart greeter; the kind smiling individual standing at the opening of one of those mega-stores, ready to say hello. But DFW residents who know their nuts and bolts also know Elliott's Hardware's greeting force, who're often the perfect sage to ask, "Where can I find a plunger?" as you walk into the store in pants wet up to your ankles.
Now Elliott's has their sights set on a very specific candidate for adding to their greeting group: Former President George W Bush.
Sounds like a joke, right? "We are offering the position to Mr. Bush in all sincerity," said Kyle Walters, Elliott's president and CEO. "We think it would be a great fit for him as he settles back into life in Dallas."
Something tells me he would find some way to screw this one up. Kinda like every other job he's ever held in his life.
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Do you really think he would fail at this too? No need to answer.
He's too full of himself to succeed.
Customer- "Where's the Draino?"
Bush- "Aisle 2."
Nearby cashier- "Hey new guy. It's on Aisle 14."
Bush- "Who asked you? I'm the decider and I decided it's on 2."
can definitely see that happening. Also, I wouldn't leave Dumbya around the bubble wrap. That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to say though, it would be a perfect job for him.
Chimpy had a quality control job at the M&Ms factory when he was younger. He got fired for throwing out all the W s.
W. takes the job, store is closed due to Home Depot opening nearby, W. gets laid off and files for unemployment.
Hardware.... NUTS & DOLTS.
doesn't he at least have to show up? Where was he 1/3 of the time for his last job?
....but I think he raped this country of our prestige, our economy, our future for the next 50+ years....I think he'll probably just hide out and die of natural causes trying to pass stool on the throne.
Such a disgusting idiot. I would spit in his face if I passed through the doors and saw him in person!
you really think he'd show up?
There you go again, selling a completely phony meme just because it sounds good.
Bush and his crew were not incompetent. They got nearly everything they wished for.
Just because they didn't have YOUR agenda in mind, or that you cannot realize what they were really doing, does not make them incompetent.
Those 46% that voted repuke last year, still haven't rapped their mind around the fact that the people they vote to run their government, have nothing but malevolent intentions for them.
It's obvious, the signs are everywhere, yet they still refuse to see.
Just because they didn't have YOUR agenda in mind, or that you cannot realize what they were really doing, does not make them incompetent.
No it make them criminal, liars, sorry low life scum without a conscience.
The people that voted for them are the incompetent ones!
in the words of seth meyer, bush broke the world... aren't people suffering enough for you to accept the truth...?... or is YOUR agenda to spur on the end times...?..
A real job?? Gimme a break.
It's either that or being the human sign holder on the street corner. Those are the jobs they usually give to special people with 47 chromosomes.
I did hear that Crawford had to cutback. Laid off the town drunk and the village idiot. Small wonder Chimpy McFuckup is looking for work then.
Will prince georgie be put in charge of toilets?
You know, the throne room.
Or just wear a sign saying, kick me.
Wouldn't he have to fill out his application and include that he was a war criminal?
Selling pooper scoopers would be the perfect job for Bush.
"Looking to clean up all that shit that's been left behind? Get the new and improved G. Dub pooper scooper! And if you purchase one within the next 7 days, you will also reiceve the "big Dick" Cheney turd spearing stick at no extra cost!"
Would be much more appropriate.
I recently wrote a letter to the editors at The Dallas Morning News, when they and a lot of their letter writers were extolling that boosh was moving back to Dallas. I wrote, "I have a location in Texas for Bush, Huntsville." They never printed the letter.
About a month later it came out that it'll cost our city $1,000,000.00 a year to protect boosh and his new home. This is at a time when library and pool hours are being cut back, because of short-falls in the city budget.
But could you imagine shrub head telling you the virtues of neoprene and wax rings over purely wax rings then trying to sell you new circuit breakers instead.
As evidenced by the last few years of Republicon action, this is how most of those jerk-hoffs think and express themselves. I can't take those folks much longer. My brain can't either!
you just know bush would fuck up the job of customer door greeter. the boy just ought to move to Paraguay.
I'd like to know who was screening resumes.
agreed, now the store owner has to be so careful, because idiot boy will find a way to screw that up as well. that's his legacy, he touches it, it's destroyed. i used to think that bush was actually shrewd and he only used lack of intelligence as ploy. i've changed my thinking on that, he was and is just plain dumb.
If they would keep a box of old shoes by the door?
At least he could keep in practice dodging shoes the way he dodged doing anything good, right, or virtuous his entire life!
I think he should be the poster child for Abortion.
Think how much better off the world would be if barb had aborted him!
One week out and GW has job options worth considering! What about Alberto? Surely he could fit in as well as GW.
The store manager is Brilliant! The whole world now knows of this hardware store! Best, cheapest advertising possible! I may have to offer Karl Rove a job at my shop, business has been slow. Second thought, nope, I'd have to talk to him.
Remember that he said his number one priority after leaving office would be to "replenish the coffers." I don't this this job will do that for him.
My guess is that he's busily retrieving much of the U.S. treasure that went "missing" during his administration.
I suspect an IRS tax audit of the man in 2010 would be quite revealing.
Bush would stand there and say, "good-bye" and "so long" to everyone who walked in. Then his supporters would call it a "bold" new approach to greeting.
Just don't ask him where to look for the oil or weapons of mass destruction.
Aisle five, where the puddle of baby puke on the floor is.
He's a natural for the duct tape and plastic sheeting section.
"Well they seemed like stand-up guys, y'know? So when they asked me where the RDX was, heck, that's m'job, right? Then th' one fellah in the robes -- reminded me of Uncle Bandar -- he wanted to know where the polyiso... polyosa... well the point is he wanted to know where it was, y'unnerstan'? So I took him over and then his buddy wanted to know if we had mechanical alarm clocks and electrical wire...
Nobody coulda anticipated that they's gonna blow sumpin' up! In other words, nobody coulda anticipated that they was makin' a bomb, see? 'Sides, Mom says them buildin's was sub-standerd, heh, an them folks is lots happier livin' in th'hospital where they're stayin'..."
Bush First Week On Job As Greeter For Elliott's Hardware
By Lex – February 7, 2009
WASHINGTON (AP) — As Greeter at Elliott's Hardware, ex President George W. Bush's first day of work on Monday was hectic as a tornado struck the parking lot destroying 37 cars and breaking every window in the store. On Tuesday 98% of shoppers at Elliott's Hardware returned home to find out they just lost their jobs due to the current financial downturn. Today as we were leaving the store we noticed cloudes of black smoke billowing out form the back of the store.
It's really nice of Elliott Hardware to hire the challenged kids for jobs even though their capacities are often a little less than other employees.
How long before Bush greets someone coming in the door and gets punched in the face? I'd guess about 14 minutes - depending on how busy it is and how much publicity he has.
Sorry hardware store, but Bush,Cheney,Rove,Rumsfelt,Rice,Libby will be busy spending their stolen 85 billion dollars of tax payer money defending themselves in courts for high treason. It is necessary for Holder(great last name) to "hold" and keep these treasonous bastards (and their pundits) busy so Mr. Obama can work on cleaning up the catastrophe's the Bush League administration created to this country and it's citizens.
Plumber Joe
as a barrier for all the FLYING SHOES from the customers.
The only "job" that Putz deserves is mopping the floors in his cell block.
Bush was offered the job of being a greeter at McCrotchet's Funeral Parlor in downtown Austin.
Right behind was an offer, now withdrawn, by the McDonald's Corporation to feature Mr. Bush as a short-order cook with a specialty in hamburgers. He would have appeared in many commercials dressed as Georgie McDonald, the lovable clown, had he been judged fully capable of fulfilling the necessary tasks.
According to the Associated Press, Mr. Bush has decided to accept the position of men's room attendant at a local airport. He will also sell cigarettes and candy.
"Hey there, Stretch! G'dday, miss Sosa. Greetings, terrists! He he he."
Ow yeah, Dubya should really get in touch with the folks, mingle with the people, ya know. He definitely wants to do that, he calls the elite his base. I'd give it about 5 mins before he gets some soft or hardware to the head.
I keep seeing Bush with the big red nose and those big floppy shoes on.
I'm sure with Bush's
recessiondepression on the way, Elliott's probably won't have the money for a greeter.Login or Register to post comments.