Colbert Says Goodbye To "Hating McCain"

Stephen finally warms up to (read: begrudgingly accepts with the help of a pint of Ben and Jerry's and some Jameson's) the reality that John McCain is the GOP nominee, and once and for all, with a hand from his "true conservative" friends, says goodbye to hating McCain.

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He’s uh, you know, he’s dependable, you know? He’s been in the Senate for 20 years, you know? We both hate terrorists, you know? I mean, that’s something we have in common. I mean, I bet…I bet he’s the kind of solid guy who… who takes out the garbage and puts down the toilet seat and stays in Iraq for 100 years. I mean, sure, sure he doesn’t have a lot of money, he’s not young, and he’s not dynamic, and he’s not a great speaker and he’s got a bad temper, and he’s…he’s from a dry climate. And he has a reptilian air that reminds me of the albino alligator at the Miami Parrot Jungle…(groans) Oh God. Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, everybody calm down. It’s going to be ok. He’s turning it around, he’s turning it around! News is he’s getting advice now from sexy new friends: Karl Rove. Oh, he is dreamy. I guess I can see me and McCain together, you know, I…what I’m saying, John McCain, is that if you ask, I’ll say yes. Sure it won’t be a passionate embrace, but that doesn’t last long anyway. So John, sweetheart, I guess I could learn to love you. But first it’s time for me and my fellow true conservatives to say goodbye…to hating you.


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