March 8, 2017

Who is dancing over the Republican Health"care" bill? the Grim Reaper!

COLBERT: Meanwhile, Democrats are unhappy because experts estimate this will cover 20 MILLION FEWER AMERICANS THAN OBAMACARE.....Pretty rough. 20 million fewer than Obama? That sounds like Trump's inauguration.

The Parks Department released those highly coveted photos that Trump requested. Before we were only seeing part of the photo, we weren't seeing everything from the Capitol to the Washington Monument. The photos came out today and it's worse than Trump feared. Jim, Can we put it up next to Obama's? Here's Obama and here's Trump.

inauguration_comparison
Obama 2009 vs. Trump 2017

That--that really looks like the before-and-after photos in an ad for Orkin. The point is, 20 MILLION is a LOT OF PEOPLE without health insurance. I don't know anyone who'd be happy about that, except maybe this guy,

The Grim Reaper...a popular character from his days at the Colbert Report, emerges on stage and they disco dance.

Stephen does find the most galling aspect of the 67-page bill.

Seven of those pages are about denying Medicaid to Lottery Winners! Over 10% of it is just about denying Medicaid to lottery winners, which is shocking. If anything, Trump should empathize with people who were handed a bunch of money they didn't earn.

Here's a sad attempt to justify this hideous GOP bill from a GOP House member.

Oregon (R) Congressman, Greg Walden: 'We're like the ambulance crew that showed up at the scene of the wreck. We're here to clean up the mess and heal the patients.'

STEPHEN COLBERT: That's not quite it. It's more like an ambulance crew that hates the previous ambulance crew so much that they rip the patients out of that ambulance and put them in their own ambulance, which they are still building.

After ripping Jason Chaffetz a new one for his assertion that Americans must now choose between an iPhone or having healthcare, he unpacked Sean Spicer's lame effort to compliment this Trumpcare/Trumpkills plan based on its number of pages.

SPICER: These over 974 pages that were passed, and then we were told we had to READ them. Our plan, in far fewer pages, 123 much smaller, much bigger. Look at the size. This is the Democrats and this is the Democrats. This is us, I mean you can't get any clearer in terms of THIS IS government. THIS IS NOT!

spicer_compares
Ours is better because it's shorter. Who reads these things, anyway?

COLBERT: When it comes to writing anything down, shorter is ALWAYS better. That's why "Moby Dick" is much, much worse than the instruction book that comes with your rice cooker.

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