June 10, 2018

Once again requesting combat pay for having to watch and write about a Fox News segment. I swear to god, these creatures are as transparent and substantive as rice noodles. Anyhow, "Judge" Jeanine Pirro had Mike Huckadoodle on to talk about how awful liberals were for pointing out the truth.

1. She serves up Jeffrey Toobin of CNN, who pointed out dear leader loved to fight with Black people, citing the NFL, UCLA players, etc. ParrotPirro and Huckster laugh that off - after all, Black people LOVE Trumpy Bear! Just look at Dennis Rodman, Kanye West and, as Pirro called him, "The Rapper Chance!" (psssst. Jeanine, honey. It's "Chance The Rapper." Just for next time.) They love him!

2. She takes aim at Time magazine for their cover of president crybaby looking in the mirror and seeing a king. The good gubner makes a lame attempt to be clever by saying the magazine is so irrelevant it should be called "Timed Out." Oh, ho, ho... Mike. You're a laugh-riot. Mark Twain had nothing on you.

He goes on, nearly bursting with pride that the guy who lost the popular vote to Hillary Clinton just told the rest of the G7 to go to hell. That's why everyone loves him, amirite??? Pirro agrees, saying, "Why wouldn't they cheer for a man fighting for US? He's not beholding to anyone but US!" (pssssst. Jeanine. Sweetie. It's "BEHOLDEN." Not "beholding." I promise. Trust me.)

3. Finally, the dynamic duo go after Nicolle Wallace, because there is nothing worse than being outshone by a smarter, more experienced political analyst than themselves. Earlier in the week, Wallace had wondered how Melania and Ivanka Trump coped with Daddy-O's misogynistic and vile comments about women, and Stormy Daniels in particular. Pirro and Huckles had this to say:

PIRRO: Dead inside. Paid off. What happened to these people? What is wrong with them?

HUCKABEE: The peacock network has become the turkey network. They need to rename it BSNBC. I just don't even know what happened to Nicolle Wallace. They must have done a liberal lobotomy on her, because I have never seen anybody have such a personality change and the insulting kind of condescension, having the condescension to say that Melania and Ivanka and all the women of the White House, which, I guess, would include my daughter...

PIRRO: I was just gonna say, your daughter is certainly not dead inside, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

HUCKABEE: No, she certainly is not. But neither is Ivanka or Melania, who is an extraordinary, classy lady. I think they are just jealous that people don't agree with their liberal nonsense. You can be a woman in America as long as you are liberal, but god help you if you might be a conservative, because that just doesn't work with these people.

Ooooooo. Good one. "Liberal lobotomy." Except, here's the thing. Nicolle Wallace is one of the few Republicans who are able and willing to speak the truth about what has happened to today's Republican Party and what a grotesque caricature of greed and evil it has become. So, if she's had a liberal lobotomy, I wonder if there is a way to perform more of these on some of the slavish asswipes talking heads over at Fox News. Maybe there would be more hope for the people who watch it to take the next step in their deprogramming -- reading a newspaper.

Can you help us out?

For nearly 20 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.