"If Oliver Wendell Douglas Could Buy Green Acres, then why can’t I buy Greenland?”

Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 20, 2019

….The Prime Minister was able to save a great deal of expense and effort for both the United States and Denmark by being so direct. I thank her for that and look forward to rescheduling sometime in the future!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 20, 2019

Our Stable Genius was being serious, as it turns out, about wanting to buy the world’s largest island. But now that it is out of the question, Prznint McDeals is calling off his visit to Denmark (and puns and references to Hamhock, Price of Denmark are hence off-limits).

The upside? Maybe foreign leaders can keep the Orange Menace away by proclaiming that they are not for sale, either. Just a thought.

Editor's update (Frances Langum): Is it because he doesn't want to stand next to a smarter, saner, thinner woman leader?