October 11, 2022

Republicans don't have much to recommend them in the mid-terms, so naturally they resort to fake theology to break things.

Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, who attended a private Episcopal boarding school, is the new pope who announced last night that the famously Catholic Nancy Pelosi -- isn't.

First he said her support for vaccine requirements proves she doesn't believe in "my body, my choice."

Then he accused her of supporting violence against political opponents and showed a clip of a reporter asking her about attacks on anti-abortion centers.

“There have been a number of attacks on churches and pregnancy centers,” the reporter said, referring to fake abortion clinics. “Republicans are going after Democrats for not saying anything and they’re saying that your rhetoric is contributing to these attacks.”

“A woman has a right to choose,” Pelosi said.

“It’s up to her, her doctor, her family, her husband, her significant other, and her God. I’m a very Catholic person and I believe in every woman’s right to make her own decisions.”

“First of all, you’re not a Catholic," Pope Tucker pronounced.

"I mean, this is ridiculous! Let’s stop pretending. Second, you don’t believe at all on the right to choose. You applauded as nurses got fired because they didn’t want to take the mandatory vax because they didn’t want to hurt their own fertility. They wanted to have children maybe someday. And you thought that was great. So it wasn’t their body and their choice. You’re a liar and a fraud. You’re not a Christian. Be quiet!”

Pope Tucker doesn't seem to understand he doesn't get to decide he's a Catholic. No less an authority than Pope Francis (who is the ACTUAL head of the Catholic church) said a politician's stand on abortion should not be used to deny them communion.

But Tucker's Fox TV ratings have made him into a little tin god, at least in his own mind. So he speaks from on high.

We know there is NO evidence that vaccines affect fertility. The only place you would find such misinformation is in the right-wing information silo, pushed by people like Tucker.

And Tucker probably knows as well as we do that that the "attacks" on fake abortion centers have been staged.

If he actually did know anything about Catholicism, he'd know he has to confess his sins -- and the priest would tell him to "go, and sin no more."

But without his sins, Tucker wouldn't be making all that money and he wouldn't wield so much power. So we're not going to see that, are we?

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