Late Night's Seth Meyers took apart the embarrassingly small CPAC crowd, Trump calling DeSantis “Tiny D,” and the ridiculous culture war issues being pushed by Republicans and Fox during his 'Closer Look' segment this Monday.
March 7, 2023

Late Night's Seth Meyers took apart the embarrassingly small CPAC crowd, Trump calling DeSantis “Tiny D,” and the ridiculous culture was issues being pushed by Republicans and Fox during his Closer Look segment this Monday.

As Meyers discussed, there was one major Republican politician who wasn't in attendance at CPAC this year, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.

There is of course one name looming over all of republican politics right now, and that's Ron DeSantis, the Florida governor who's expected to launch his 2024 bid soon. Now, DeSantis' main focus as governor has been using the power of the government to fight so-called "wokeism," which, as far as I can tell, he can't even define it just seems to mean anything that's bothering conservatives and wealthy old comedians.

It's basically just a collection of petty grievances about meaningless culture war issues like gender-neutral Potato Head dolls -- or M&Ms not wearing sexy clothes anymore... a thing they on purpose say out loud all the time. If you accidentally said you thought the green M&M was hot in fourth grade, you'd be teased about it until you graduated high school. […]

DeSantis chose to skip the conservative political action conference and give a speech at the Ronald Reagan library over the weekend, where he once again complained about “wokeism.”

After mocking DeSantis for calling “wokeism” a “mind virus,” Meyers asked:

Let me ask you, which of these sounds more like a mind virus to you? The side that wants to teach accurate history, provide gender-affirming care to children, protect people from gun violence, and safeguard reproductive rights? Or the side that whines about not wanting to bang M&Ms anymore, bans books from middle school libraries, and watches Fox news all day, getting angry about gas stoves and Lego sets?

As Meyers noted, “the modern GOP doesn't actually care about using government to help people, it only cares about the culture wars,” and DeSantis has “weaponized government to use it as a tool in those culture wars he's been engaged in with a spree of censorship laws that ban content conservatives don't like, all the way from elementary school to college” and now, as we've discussed here as well, going after bloggers who write anything they don't like about DeSantis or his fellow Florida Republicans.

Meyers wrapped things up discussing the tiny crowds and Trump's godawful speech at CPAC, along with Trump working on new nicknames for DeSantis.

Whoa. That looks less like an audience, and more like the tour group at a spoon museum on a Tuesday morning. I've seen middle school dance recitals with a bigger audience. He looks like he's doing an off-Broadway one-man show called, "The Real Cocaine Bear." "Hey, could somebody tell CSPAN to stop cutting to the [ bleep ] audience?"

The point is, CPAC was a window into the unhinged nature of the modern conservative world view they're all in a little echo chamber screaming to half-empty conference rooms about made up bull [ bleep ] most normal people don't care about in fact, to show you how disconnected they are from the average American voter, they actually invited the pillow guy, Mike Lindell, to speak on stage about his repeatedly debunked election lies.

Meyers compared Trump's speech to “watching an HGTV home makeover show where the host has a massive head wound” and whacked Trump for surrounding himself with nothing but “other old weirdos or waitstaff who are required to tell you all your ideas are awesome” before noting that in the end, there's not a lot of difference between “the big D” Trump and “tiny D” Desantis and where both of them want to take “the unhinged modern GOP.”

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