March 21, 2023

Former President Donald Trump called in to 'Pastors for Trump National Prayer Call' Monday night before his possible indictment today.

Things got awkward when the host asked the one-term President to name a specific prayer he wanted to request. Suddenly, Trump had technical difficulties with his phone. Or possibly, and I'm just going out on a limb here, Trump is in foreign territory regarding the Christian faith.

When Trump's line was clear, he blamed the "radical left."

"OK, I guess we have some phone miscommunication," Bloaty McBatshit said. "And I think what happened was that the radical left was working on the phone. There is no question about it."

According to The Daily Beast, Trump said, “Uhhh,” just before being disconnected from the call. The outlet obtained audio from the original call, which was later edited out when posted to YouTube by the group. Hey, that edit doesn't sound very Christian-y.

In a phone interview with The Daily Beast on Monday night, Pastors for Trump founder Jackson Lahmeyer said that “trolls” might have been behind the snafu—flooding into the backstage virtual call room.

“Our backstage got flooded with people and trolls, just commenting all types of stuff,” he said. Lahmeyer additionally said it could have been a “hack,” or their phone system’s back end being overloaded with viewers.

Sure thing, buddy:

Or it could be that Trump is full of icky shit:

I'm trying to visualize their prayers for Donald: Dear heavenly father, the twice-impeached one-term porn star fucking adulterous President needs your help. He's about to be held accountable after he was caught criming around again. Lord, please stop those that want to see justice. Thank you, God. Amen.

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