Donald Poopy Pants's rally in the Bronx on Thursday did about as well as you'd expect in an area that voted heavily for Biden in 2020. Featured at the rally were two gentlemen, Sleepy Hallow and Sheff G, who were indicted last May along with 30 other gang members on a 140-count criminal indictment, including for murder and a fuckton of shootings.

But wait, there's more. Then he asked the crowd if he was "hotter" before becoming President or after. And when one of his supporters needed water while waiting for medical assistance, Lumpy pulled out a bottle of water, and drank it himself.

And now we're at the part of his rally where he brags about putting on his pants all by himself every morning. I'm only surprised the business execs he's talking about weren't described as big guys with tears in their eyes.

"Some of the greatest days of my business career were in the toughest times, but I enjoyed waking up every single morning and going to battle," Trump said. "A lot of people say to me today, the toughest business people. People that you know about, could I ask you a question?"

"How do you do it?" Trump recalled being asked. "I say, do what? How do you get up in the morning and put your pants on? I put the pants on I'll explain it to you someday."

"How do you do it?" he added. "How do you get up?"

It is a good question. How does that stupid motherfucker even dress himself every morning? And how does he get his pants on over his big boy diapers? At least his crowds are getting smaller. Hundreds attended the Bronx rally in a city of eight million people.

However, on Friday, Trump wrote on Truth Social:

THIS WAS A BIG, IMPORTANT, AND EVEN STARTLING EVENT, AND YET MUCH OF THE LAMESTREAM NETWORK MEDIA REFUSED TO COVER IT. Gee, I wonder why???

Yes, it was startling that he had accused murderers joining him on stage. It's startling when he asks a crowd of his fire-breathing lint-licking supporters if he's hot. And it's startling that he wouldn't give one of his supporters water when they needed medical attention. And if Biden acted like this, the media would be all over his shit. Now, that's startling. This timeline we're stuck in is so messed up.