Oh those family values Republicans: The Scott County court clerk confirms a felony complaint has been filed against former Missouri House Speaker R
December 8, 2009

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Oh those family values Republicans:

The Scott County court clerk confirms a felony complaint has been filed against former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton for an incident that allegedly took place Nov. 15 in Sikeston, Mo.

The complaint alleges Jetton "recklessly caused serious physical injury to ------- by hitting her on the head, and choking her resulting in unconsciousness and the loss of the function of part of her body."

UPDATE, 3:50: The affidavit attached to the probable cause statement alleges Jetton went to the home of the victim Nov. 15, where he and the victim drank wine and watched a football game. The victim claims Jetton hit her on the face and choked her, leaving bruises that the police department photographed.

The affidavit claims the assault occurred during the night and into the morning of Nov. 16. It says Jetton and the victim agreed on a "safe word" "to use as a stop word during intercourse."

The safe word was allegedly "green balloons." The next day, Jetton allegedly told the victim: "You should have said green balloons." Read on...

Brutal. Jetton is the former Missouri House Speaker, but his biggest claim to fame was working as a political adviser to Mitt Romney during his failed presidential campaign in 2008. Known as "jedijetton" on Twitter, Rod tweets about attending CPAC -- and here's a photo of him with everybody's favorite conservative battle axe, Phyillis Schlafly.

Wonkette adds the finishing touches to this story:

Rod Jetton is married with three children and attends Methodist church regularly. He is affiliated with the Republican Party. He is a Real American, the end.

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