Worst. Excuse. Ever.
By Steve Benen Sunday Aug 05, 2007 4:56pmAbout a month ago, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen (R), a co-chairman of John McCain’s presidential campaign in the Sunshine State, ran into a little trouble with the law. He was arrested in a public park after allegedly offering to pay to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer. Not a good career move.
Josh Marshall notes today, however, that ol’ state Rep. Allen can explain everything.
[I]t turns out that Allen revealed the true reason for the alleged park-john-offer in a tape recorded statement he made just after his arrest.
“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” said Allen, according to this article in the Orlando Sentinel. Allen went on to say he was afraid of becoming a “statistic.”
OK, let me get this straight. Allen was in a public park, late at night. For some reason, he’s afraid of black people. As a result of this irrational fear, he wanders into a bathroom, where he offers another man $20 to perform oral sex.
In other words, Allen thought he might be attacked by some “stocky” black men, and this is his first instinct? Josh added, “I guess this raises the question of whether if you thought you were about to get mugged by a group of stocky black guys, your first plan of escape would be to try to give one of them a blowjob.”
Login or Register to post comments.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh yeah, frist
FRIST!
If only Richard Pryor still walked among us. Jeezuz, can you imagine the laughs he could milk from this alibi?
It gets better, as he was being loaded (literally have you seen this guy?) into the back of the cop car he asks if it would help if he said he was a state legislator.
Somehow this reminds me of that white guy up on Boston who was so afraid of black guys that he killed his wife and children and blamed it on a scary black guy. Turns out the police did not buy it.
What a putz. Is there something in the water in Florida or is it just general republican stupidity?
The old "suck a pecker" escape.
Yes, well renowned in cetain circles.
Oh yeah, I saw this movie! It's by Hot Desert Knights...hehe
"3 Black Guys and a Republican"
Oh, yeah- that totally makes sense. I mean, whenever I'm afraid a bunch of guys might kick my ass, I suggest one of them service me orally. Uh-huh.
Doubtless the Republican Congressman was just reflecting his political training that has probably kept him in good standing to date: when confronted by anything that looks like power go down on your knees and assume the position. I wonder if he told the electorate how far he would go and how quickly he would submit to the program of the Neo Cons. MIght be an idea to run a poll in the House of Representatives, ask the Republican members if they will also instantly assume the position to help a fascist government tyrannize over the popuation. We already know many of them will do nothing else.
If he was so afraid for his life why would he ask to be compensated $20?
the chickenhawk conservative way out of a fight. "please don't punch me!!! i'll suck your cock and give you $20 bucks"
His dog ate his reason.
Thanks I needed a good laugh.
Scott D:
To be fair, lately that sounds a lot more like the Dems in power...
Sad but true.
these repubs play the eugenics card when they get on the sex offender list
LOL! I've missed C&L. That is too funny, yet so sad, LOL! (can't stop laughing) Worst case scenario, these sadly, horribly, emotionally and sexually repressed people will just die off in time..
I get it. He just wanted to suck the guy off until he could plot his escape. It's an old trick that only republics know.
Republicans do care about black issues, ie financial independence, quality of life and so on. You don't see any damn dems steppin up to the plate like ol' Bobber Allen now, do you?
what a wussy. what's he going to use for cash when in jail lock-up in a tank cell full of many races? if he was soooooooooo afraid, then why was he in a public park so late at night? stupid stupid man, trying to blame his asshole behavior on anyone black.
Any excuse, no matter how farfetched, is obviously easiser than admitting that he is gay. However, it looks like another closet case Republican "blew" his cover. Man, is his mom going to be pissed......
Well at least he didn't offer to build him a bridge or give him a defense contract - I honestly didn't think Republican congressman would touch sums less then 5 digits; he must be a fiscal conservative.
if he was a "true compassionate conservative" wouldn't he have offeded at least $100,
just too cheap.
All that Republican bravado and Allen is a "bottom."
I invite many of you to read this sentence very carefully:
" He was arrested in a public park after allegedly offering to pay to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer."
I shouldn't judge anyone, I suppose, unless he takes office and attempt to legislate against that very behavior and is later busted trying to find a prozzie in a men's tearoom. Talk about the essence of hypocrisy, eh?
This is like a bad SNL skit.
He can't just admit that he digs black cock, what a puss.
Dr. Matt @ 27:
Give it 5 days.
[Deleted. Blogwhoring]
That's kind of weird, though. I would think that if he wanted to pick up a prostitute he wouldn't have just ambled into a random toilet and hoped that one would be around. I mean, I know these people are not stunningly intelligent but this is just slow.
This is all Bill Clinton's fault.
No probs.
Jesus has already forgiven him.
LOL! What a kinky porno movie! LOL! (Still can't stop laughing) I can see it, The pasty neocon on his knees in the park sucking off black men... 'cmon bitch, suck it!' LOLOLOL!
It's kinda sad that after sitting around trying to come up with an excuse, the best he can do is "I'm not gay, I'm racist!" Like he expects people to say "Well, he hates black people, but at least he had the presence of mind to start trying to suck somebody's dick."
I wonder how many other Republicans have been turned gay by their racism.
Is he saying the new way to defend yourself from becoming a statistic is to offer a guy blowjob? I really don't understand his reasoning here!
Now we know why Monica Lewinsky went down on Bill Clinton - there were a bunch of "first black Presidents" wandering around on the White House lawn, and she was afraid of them. So, her first instinct was to pull out Bill's penis and start sucking it.
Hell! Why didn't she just say so?
Bill wasn't having sex with her - he was just protecting her!
"Please don't kill me! I'll be your bitch!"
LOL, what a putz. If he feels that way he should just check in to his nearest state prison.
the officer said, "do you want just [oral sex]?" and Allen replied, "I was thinking you would want one."
Sounds like he was wanting to do it.
He was just following the Christian ideal, that it is better to give than to receive; the cash might have been an offering.
The world's problems can be traced down to one hormone and one gender.
Quick Thinking! #2
THIS is the kind of decision maker we need in the White House, to follow The Decider!
If he had been our Decider after 9-11, Osama or some other lucky Saudi member of Al Qaeda would have gotten a smile on his face... or been sent on the short weekend trip to Paradise, instead of suicide bombing and having to put up with those 17 virgins...
Anyone else remeber the scene from Brain Candy, the Kids In The Hall film?
Somethin' like:
Well, Officer, ya see, his pants were around his ankles and I thought he'd slip. That's why my hand was on his buttock, to keep him from slippin'.
Or somethin' to that effect....
Is it the air, or water, or both that Florida attracts so many damned freaks?
[Deleted. Off topic]
Seems reasonable to me. He was trying to do his part to help the poor by offering this black man $20 and a job.
LOL! "Your Daddy's Little Freak Boy, Ain't Ya?" ROTL!
Dr. Matt @ 44:
I dunno, Doc, but this sure seems to come from the pages of a Carl Hiassen book.
this guys so fucked up he'd have been better off had they killed him.
Ah yes, the "blowjob gambit." Makes sense...in a Republican kinda way.
And after his trousers are around his ankles, then you show that ruffian the error of his ways!
myiq2xu @ 46:
I wish someone would offer ME a "getting blowjobs for pay" job.
It kinda runs counter to the typical Republican attitude towards welfare, though, doesn't it?
Oh yeah. That's the first thing I think of doing when I feel scared or threatened: Ask someone to let me blow them and I'll give them 20 bucks on top of it. Sure, that would make my fear go away in a heart beat. Sheesh.
Fear of a black p*nis.
GOP=ruled by fear.
-GSD
Andy K @ 48:
If Florida was a blue state, O'Really would be blaming 'secular progressives" for the State's widespread perversions.
Send this man to Iraq with a fistfull of $20's. He may break the back of the insurgency. Or at least knead their balls.
-GSD
If I am reading this story correctly, this guy Allen offered the undercover cop money so that he could suck the cops's dick?
McCain must be really serious about going after minority votes.
"Vote McCain - We'll give you $20 and a hummer!"
Quick Thinking #4:
Now we know why Mark Foley propositioned congressional pages - he was surrounded by them, and the only way out was to offer to suck them off! He was afraid of them, in a racist sort of way, and it was his way of fending off the fear - by putting something in his mouth...
GOP
Gobble On Penis
Talk about voter outreach, that is voter reach-around. Kind of a new twist on a chicken in every pot. A choked chicken in every pot.
-GSD
Haven't you guys ever heard of the 'fight or blow' response?!
If you can't deal with Black cock, how can you deal with al Qaeda?
It is sad that the unyeilding conservative ideology won't let this dude -- and how many others? -- come out of the closet and suck a cock every once in a while in peace.
Man.
If that's how the gays do it in Florida, I'm gonna get me a shitload of Viagra and start a new career.
GSD @ 55:
Yep, this could work!
So, he was surrounded by the types of men who terrorize him, just by their proximity, is that right? Sounds like a plan to me!
Let's just send him as our peace emissary to Iraq, where he can put those $20 bills to best use. It has to be cheaper than sending Bremer's men with plane-loads of cash that went down some rabbit hole. $20 a pop? It is better than any plan out there.
If they do early withdrawal, does it count? Does the guy get his full $20?
Do Iraqis rate up there with black guys, that may be the real question... Maybe they will do it for $12 or $15?
Can you imagine what Jon Stewart is going to come up with tonight?
Ha fucking ha!
But he will have to have some excellent writers to top some of the posts here...
I bow to the posters here - figuratively speaking, of course...
Dr. Matt @ 54:
O’Reilly is always up for a little sex story. I wonder if this is good enough for his show….. Oh wait. It’s not a negligee thing or a girl on girl thing or a falafel thing. And it is a Republican scandal. Forget it. He won’t have it. Turd.
My theory seems to hold true....Scratch a republican and you'll find a pervert underneath every time.
mmmmmmmandingo...............I wonder if he takes it in the you know where?
58 dadams Says:
GOP
Gobble On Penis
OMG! I haven't laughed over a blog comment this hard in a LONG time!!!!!
THANK YOU!!
Things You Did Not Know
This is really funny. You may not know this but most black muggest and would be gang banger become less aggressive when they are getting their Dicks sucked. It's tricky though you may need to kick in a little cash to make sure you can avoid a ass whipping. This fact is known by most Republican park walkers.
Joseph
[...] Maverick” a hard-on? from this article by Craig Bailey of the Orlando Sentinel via “Worst. Excuse. Ever” at Crooks and Liars photo credit: uncited photographer for the Orlando [...]
No prob. He can go to that well-known gay rehab for the cure. But what he's going to do about the racism is a different story.
BTW, why aren't we seeing this story on TV? They don't have any problem discussing the sexual escapades of starlets no one's ever heard of.
Jukesgrrl @ 71:
Maybe Keith will have room for it tonight.
dadams @ 58:
Yes way to make a homophobic joke.
Without knowing the facts of the case I'm not going to make any judgements, but if you read the article in the Orlando Sentinel you would see that his excuse is not quite what C&L and John Marshall are trying to portray it as. He claims that he was approached and felt like the under cover police man was trying to get a blow job. He went along with it because he felt that if he didn't he would be hurt. Whether or not this is accurate or truthful is unclear and a police investigation and possibly a trial will sort it out.
Didn't George Michael use the same excuse?
Democrats are just like the American car makers. Once upon a time the Ford, GM, and others had a HUGE share of the car market. Then along came a choice for the American people. Pretty soon Americans were choosing imports in significant numbers. So American car makers stick their head in the sand, roll out some awful products, expel a lot of hot air about "Big" and "Tough" and of course "American" and now they have less than 50% of the market. They don't get the basic message, what foreign car makers are doing is working and what domestic car makers are doing is not working.
So here we have the Democrats, after a HUGE win this past November, they begin hearings because the Preznit's popularity is approaching zero, they begin to pass legislation for every American and force GOPers to look like idiots in voting against children's health care.
Then here comes the FISA amendment which is central to the Preznit breaking the law and all and can be considered an impeachable offense against the Constitution and the American people, and what do Democrats do? They volunteer to loose market share, they say don't vote for us again because we're as bad for you and the Constitution as the other guy. They go out of their way to make themselves untrustworthy.
If they collectively could not see this coming, then they are really stupid. If they assumed this would somehow turn out differently, then they are in dire need of new leadership in both houses. If this is truly what they stand for then i'm in need of a third party.
“Gimme your wallet or I’ll blow your brains out!”
Shit, I’ve always handed over my money. NOW I get it.
Mr. Allen has announced, for whatever reason, that he gives really bad blowjobs. So bad, In fact, that not only is it necessary to monitarily compensate his recipients for their discomfort and inconvenience, if threatened, he can fellate an attacker to safeguard his person. And on Aug. 2nd he proved that he will not hesitate to do just that. Exactly how he
camewas made aware that bad oral sex techniques could be applied as a means of self-defense is not known.The caption for this article is too funny.
Allen's explanation is just insane.
Oh well, while the country disintegrates, we need to keep laughing.
Captain Kangaroo @ 66:
See, that's why Carl Hiassen is so successful, he has endless great material to work with.
After you stop laughing, you just have to spontaneously start up again. What can a person seriously comment on this?
But if Keenan Ivory Wayans ever does a Living Color reunion I know one skit that better be in there -- with Anton. I'm pretty sure Homey don't play that.
The sad part is the 29%ers will lap it right up.
It didn't happen "late at night"--it happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT.
Look at the actual police report--it begins, "On 11 July 2007 at approximately 1533 hours..." Unless law enforcement's way of telling time differs from that of the military, that's 3:30 in the AFTERNOON, isn't it? Well, if burglars are willing to work during the day, why not cruisers?
Hahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahaahahah That's about all I can muster hahahahahahahah I might be laughing about this lame-o excuse this time next hear if I give it any further thought... Yep. Food for thought for anyone in a jam... Yep, just offer a blow job the next time you feel like your cornered... by stocky blacks, skinny white guys or militant looking transvestites... cops, robbers, politicians.... the checkout guy at the supermarket, pretty much anyone threatening looking..
I mean heck, apparently it worked for this genious... I mean he didn't get mugged now did he... hahahhaahahahahahahaahahah JD
David E @ 73:
re:"...He claims that he was approached and felt like the under cover police man was trying to get a blow job...."
He claimed NOTHING OF THE SORT! He NEVER said that he felt that the undercover officer wanted anything from him. You are a sad excuse for a troll and an embarassment to all those who have troll'd before you.
What was this doofus' explanation for being in the park in the first place? If he wasn't there for cock then he was there for crack.
So apparently Al Qaeda should just threaten Republicans and they'll get blowjobs.
Weaklings!
-GSD
what? that's the excuse I always use....
If the undercover officer is Black I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that his fellow conservatives unquestioningly believe the story!
rocknation @ 82:
hahahaha, thanks for the police report rocknation, it's hilarious, everyone should read it.
Somewhere, David Vitter is on his knees, shouting "Thank you, Jesus!"
Is that why he looked over the stocky black guy's partition (twice) and then went into his john saying "hi there." ??
Okay, I found out what really happened. Allen is a good Christian and was just following Jesus teachings.
Luke 6:27-36:
"When a man takes your coat, let him have your shirt as well."
So, if a man asks you for $20, suck his cock too!
I'm gonna start going to church again.
He must really suck at sucking if he has to PAY someone to suck. Don't whores usually charge? He'll be that "statistic" in no time at this rate.
Can't help it, here's an excerpt from the report. This is the arresting officer's version of events:
"I talked with the other officers again and the entered the washroom again and began washing my hands. Allen entered the restroom behind me and proceeded into the first stall. I realized that there were no paper towels to dry my hands so I walked in to the handicapped stall to dry my hands."
"As I stood in the stall drying my hands I observed Allen look over the door of my stall and make eye contact with me. Allen then stepped away and then came back to the door of my stall and looked in, making eye contact with me again. I said "Hey buddy" and Allen said "Hi" and then stepped away again. About 5 seconds later, Allen pushed open the door to my stall and then stepped inside. I was standing against the far wall of the stall. Allen closed the door behind him and stood against it. I said "What's up?" and Allen again said "Hi". Allen then said "this is kind of a public place isn't it?" I said "do you have somewhere else we can go?" Allen said "How about the bridge, it's quiet over there."
"Allen engaged me in a conversation in which it was agreed that he would pay me 20$ in order to perform a "blow-job" on me. Allen stated that he wanted me to ride with him across the river before he performed the act and gave me the money. Before entering Allen's vehicle I identified myself as a police officer and detained him."
So....Allen implies that he was afraid for his life so that's why he offered to perform oral sex on the police officer (and pay him for the privilege) yet at every step of the way he's the one initiating the encounter all on his own.
He peeks at the officer in his stall, he steps into the stall without being prompted, he chooses a more private location, he even takes the officer to his car to go for a ride.
Mmm, yeah, that's really the typical behavior of someone scared out of his mind.
Why didn't I ever think of that tactic? But, what if the husky black guy (I'll bet he was ripped) turned out to be a Homophobe instead of a cop? Wouldn't Allen (R-closet queen) take the chance of ending up crucified on a barbed wire fence or something?
But, I suspect Allen will walk away from this charge. He wasn't a prostitute, because he wasn't asking to be paid. And, he wasn't a "John" because he was not paying for a blowjob for himself. Are there really people that twisted?
He found himself in a black neighborhood and figured it was like being in prison - you either have to kick somebody's ass or be somebody's bitch. Fuck or fight, and he chose fuck.
"Your Honor, that scary negro made me so afraid I walked into his bathroom stall and offered his $20 to slob his big throbbing knob."
3rd worst person in the world. Nice mug shot too
I'd get myself arrested if I knew I could spend 5 minutes in the same holding pen with this (literal) cocksucker. What a racist, perverted, REPUBLICAN POS. And who thinks for a SECOND that this guy will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life?
[...] Worst. Excuse. Ever. [...]
I say perverted because he does it in public. I don't care what people so sexually in their own homes.
Bob "Cocksman" Allen been seeing way too many prison movies.
But, you gotta' feel sorry for a guy who doessn't appear to know about porn store gloryholes.
myiq2xu at #89
ROTFLMAO!!
apparently, he's into watersports. http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Representatives/details.aspx?MemberId=4204
eeewwwwwwww!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .......thud. Laughing my head off. What can you say?
xoites defends Constitution @ 5:
Actually they did buy it. It resulted in many arrests and raids in the black community. Eventually the investigation of a news reporter led to the truth and the "white guy" killed himself before they arrested him.
See? Clinton knew how to get a B***job, without getting into trouble.
Oh wait ... he DID get into trouble, but NOT for being kinky.
Newsflash
The man known as the Kneeling Vigilante was apprehended attempting to break up a gang in Florida. The Kneeling Vigilante, known to lurk in public parks and restrooms, has been the scourge of gang activity, but while gangs have decreased in the area, residents feared for their lives and did not allow their children to play in parks or use public restroom facilities until he was apprehended. He had previously eluded capture by dressing in an ordinary business suit and tie. His victims had previously been left under bridges exhausted with their clothes disheveled, but with bus fare home.
Did anyone else check out his profile at the state house website?
Recreational Interest: Water sports.
Udon Nomee @ 84:
I'm a troll... Ok but I guess I'm a liberal troll, since I support Bill Richardson for president and my second choice would be Obama. Now if you read the original Orlando Sentinal article (really read it) he says that he was not looking for sex, but instead was trying to do what ever he thought would get him out of the situation. Frankly I don't buy that excuse, but there is an important difference between what is C&L (which I find to be a very good site) and Marshall are claiming and what he is claiming. If you can't see the difference then you're just looking for any reason to laugh at the GOP. Also many remarks in these responses are borderline homophobic or at least very childish.
Lol, the guy is just pleading to be in a confined space full of stocky (well endowed) black men or at a pinch well hung white guys;)
Tony Snow @ 31:
This continuous onslaught of right wing theocratic girly/boyz, homosexual/pedophilic, alcohol induced, perverted aggression has been going on for ages
Seven years ago the sexual escapades of Matt Glavin came to light. Glavin was head of the extreme right wing “Southeastern Legal Foundation”. They were an anti Bill Clinton operation working with a budget of several million dollars a year.
They fought any legislation that wasn’t pro-God fearing white old men. Their main success was blocking a proposal WJC tried to implement to open housing availability to all races back when he was Governor of Arkansas.
During the Clinton Impeachment fiasco Glavin appeared on several “NEWS” programs wailing about the damage Clinton was doing to America, the sanctity of marriage, and morality of the USofA. Glavin had a wife and a couple of children.
Glavin had been awarded the highest rating by the Christian Coalition based on his great Christian values history.
Then, in May of 2000 Glavin was arrested for whipping out his winkie and masturbating in public at the Chattahoochee National Recreation Area in Atlanta GA - with a bottle of booze in the hand he wasn’t whacking off with. He staggered up to a plain clothed, undercover, male police office and begged the officer to “orally engage” with him.
It turns out that Glavin was arrested at the same park for the same offense as far back as 1996.
What will we tell the children?
Ok, I laughed. Hard. Holy crap lol!
"Hmm... there are some very large men here. And they're black. They might hurt me! ... I know, I'll suck their dicks and pay them for the favor - THAT will ensure my safety!"
Mm... blatant racism and hypocrisy all in one. Could it get any worse?
(I do believe this counts as the "Dead girl or live boy" moment does it not?)
Gekke @ 110:
So what you're saying is, he wants to drop the soap?
(Sorry I couldn't resist (T_T)
JJohnson @ 113:
i guess as soon as he get's some time he'll be dropping bars of soap all the time, its all that he wants you know ;)
So, you mean the Susan Smith defense doesn't work?
damn.
How sad is that? That was literally his best attempt at a defense. "I was so scared of the black man I had to pay to s--- his weenie"
and he still wants to keep his seat in the Florida legislature.
I wonder how much he pays the other legislators?
Idiotland @ 81:
The question is ... "Will the GOP (goofy ole' pedophiles) spit or swallow?"
This is the best excuse he can come up with? What happened to the standard alcohol problem defense? Is that one no longer the preferred excuse for things like this?
ROFL. This is prime republican material.
My apologies to Steve.
I really assumed that the headline of this story was a bit over the top sensationalism. Then I read the story.
Nope. It really is the worst excuse ever.
Not only does wandering into a bathroom and soliciting a blow job do nothing to actually protect you in a dangerous situation, the guy admitted to being racist.
Amazingly stupid. Who votes for these people?
Can we put him into a park late at night without the police around so that he can demonstrate how well this method works for him?
Out Of His F'in Mind!!!!!!
I have to admit, I can't follow his reasoning. I mean, I know wingnuts thought patterns which are different from humans but still. This guy is trying to claim that he was so terrified by the black guys he saw hanging out in the park (late at night mind you) that he ran into a men's room and offered to pay an undercover cop 20 bucks to give him a blowjob (Let's leave aside the fact that only a true, family values kind of Republican offers to pay SOMEBODY ELSE 20 bucks TO GIVE A BLOWJOB) I just don't follow this. It makes absolutely no sense.
So I got this joke..
George Michael and Bob Allen walk into a bathroom and...........
God knows, I love the weather in Florida. And I can't make it through a whole Michigan winter (November-May) without making my yearly pilgramage to the sunshine state, but good God almighty there are some stooooopid people that live there.
What, no "take me, mandingo" reference while he's at it?
Seriously, there is something really fucked up about white fear in America. Susan Smith: a Black guy carjacked me and killed my kids; Runaway Bride: A Hispanic man kidnapped me; Charles Whatshisname in Boston: a Black guy carjacked me and killed my pregnant wife.
This fearmongering and stereotyping bullshit needs to stop.
Interesting... he'd rather be seen as racist than gay.
ROFL ..this is hilarious on so many levels.
This would have been a better excuse:
.
LOL
Allen's bigoted racism got the best of him and turned him into a solicitous homosexual, on the spot?
And I'm the tooth fairy.
LOL
.
Please. Stop. Putting. Periods. After. Every. Word.
Seriously, no one does this anymore and even when it was even remotely popular it was only kids who did it.
concernedmom @ 6:
I'm from florida but it is a little of both, I once meant someone who didn't know what h-a-w-a-i-i-a-n spelled.
Why did he get arrested? This is a non-issue.
Worst. Excuse. Ever.
[...]About a month ago, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen (R), a co-chairman of John McCain?s presidential campaign in the Sunshine State, ran into a little trouble with the law. He was arrested in a public park after allegedly offering to pay to perform or...
Well when attacked, some people respond with Kung Fu like me, and some people respond by attempting to drop $20 to smoke a pickle. It takes all kinds i guess.
Lol. Offer to blow someone because you are afraid of him? Hahahaha. That is the lamest excuse. I wonder what he will do if he sees a rabid dog....
Hey wait, how about a really scary zombie....
or better yet, Godzilla. Yeah, try Godzilla.
I think he is just afraid to get in jail that's why he came up with this lame excuse for an excuse. On the other hand, I wonder if putting him in jail is a mighty good idea. It should be pretty scary there. I bet the convicts will have a ball.
Lol.
You guys have the story all wrong.
From what I heard, Bob Allen ran into the restroom to escape the stocky black men and found someone else hiding in there in the stall who also felt captive in regards to the ruffians outside.
The man mentioned to Allen that he had a gun and a knife that they could use to protect themselves.
Unfortunately for them, both weapons were being hidden in the man's bladder. Allen offered to buy the knife off of him for $20.00. The guy accepted, but mentioned he'd have to retreive the knife in the only way he knew how: to suck it out the urethra.
Before he could begin the lifesaving procedure to procure the knife and establish a successful exit route from the restroom beseiged by stocky black men, he was arrested.
I'm not saying this is the true story.
I'm just saying this is what I heard.
now what the man does in his private time should be his business and no one else's. i don't see how sucking a guy off disqualifies him as a politician.
Metagg is tracking this post
Find out what Social News Sites are discussing this post over at metagg.com
Can you imagine what his time in FL State Penitentiary will be like???
He'll be surrounded by beefy black men in jail. They'll have to give him kneepads and install an ATM in his cell so that he'll always have enough $20s on him at all times to keep himself safe.
ETcallmom @ 123:
...then, in comes...Now believe this, in comes the strongest black undercover cop you've ever seen...
Wonderful! An excellent escape tactic indeed. I was scared so I asked HIM to orally pleasure ME. Again "I" was SCARED.
lol. Go bob!
He pulled a Lindsay Lohan!
Salmineo @ 7:
You spelt 'Cretin' wrong.
Looks like he sponsored this bill on Sexual Solicitation and Abuse - nice.
david @ 135:
Um, maybe when you add rascism, prostitution and lying into that 'private time,' it might well disqualify him for public office. Then again, in light of the current administration, that kind of behavior will often get you a promotion in the Grand Old Party.
[...] www.crooksandliars.com/2007/08/06/worst-excuse-ever/ via digg [...]
Hey, Moms, don't let your sons grow up to be politicians! Please folks, I live in Florida and let's cut the jokes about this great state...hey I gotta take a leak so I'll be right back.
Man there was this scary dude in the next stall so I whipped out my c..., I mean my GOP membership card. Well, shucks if he didn't have a great big c..., card himself. So I just kissed his really big c... and gave him $20 and we became good buddies.
And say hello to Foley for me.
What a country. The only good thing about Bush, Cheney, and the rest of the corrupt Gestapo running our country is that they make Bill look better every day. And now they want to run Guiliani? Can it get any worse?
Indigo # 8, “3 Black Guys and a Republican”
I thought that that was the new Fox reality show.
Sup guyz. Guess whose got 20 bucks.
I think there was a MSN article about a sex offender sentenced to wear a chicken suit (couldn't read it -- i only have QT on this computer). I think this man needs to be sentenced to dreass like a miami prostitute for his remaining days in congress. Thoughts?
concernedmom @ 6:
"Putz" isn't the word for such actions. I too would chalk it up to Republican stupidity and hypocracy!
Login or Register to post comments.