January 26, 2005

Crooks and Liars have finally decided on a quite, attractive pricing plan to see if we can get any of the administration payola money (that we think comes out of the faith based initiative programs) to hire us for hawking your policies Mr. President. Now remember, we cater to a vastly liberal audience, which are free thinkers (not freepers) with the occasional trolls thrown in, but you would be reaching an audience that is often very hostile to your ideology and programs.

Our traffic is running very high in a relatively short time, and you need to latch on to a different conduit of the internets. I mean the right wing bloggers are hitting your Stepford-Like clones already so there is no real dollar value in throwing good cash their way. You are going to need some support from the liberal side if you're going to make your second term work.

1) For a 150.00 bucks we'll use the word "freedom" and "liberty" in every third post and as a bonus we'll slip in the word "tyranny" for free.

2) For 200.00 bucks we'll constantly remind our readers that Alberto Gonzalez is from Latin dissent. Never a mention of those dreaded torture memos. Damn those memos!

3) For a 250.00 bucks we'll agree that lawyers are the cause of rising costs of health care insurance and only show videos of ambulance chasers. As a special feature, we'll show reruns of John Edwards being grilled by Tim Russert right before the election on Monday's.

4) For 300.00 bucks we'll start substituting the word "personal accounts "whenever talking about "privatization" of Social Security. Add another 50 bucks to use the word "crisis" up to ten times in a row on any given day.

5) For 350.00 bucks we'll completely throw Juan Cole under the bus and all his Middle East pessimism about Iraq.

6) For 400.00 bucks we'll start calling Fox News "fair and balanced"

7) For 450.00 bucks we'll jump on board of that "marriage amendment" thing and refute the claim that Ken Melman is gay.

8) For 500.00 bucks we'll promote a bid for Bill O'Reilly' to replace Dan Rather at CBS.

9) For 750.00 bucks we'll announce that Jerry Falwell is a true prophet. We'll show plenty of video to prove it. CGI is a wonderful thing.

and finally

10) For 1000.00 bucks we'll only post videos and stories that promote Donal Rumsfeld and the rest of the neocons as the greatest war planners of our lifetime. (They are extra because that will be a tough sell.)

This is our initiall proposal, but we wanted to get it in fast since we are sure the administration is being deluged with offers at this moment. Further revisions are forthcoming.


Crooks and Liars

P.S. don't worry about the name of the blog.

Can you help us out?

For 18 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.