April 4, 2014

I want to thank Stephen Colbert for taking the time to compile Bill O'Reilly's nonsensical observations about American society. BillO thinks he's found a bone to chew on with income equality, but his analogies are unhinged. If he thinks I'm trying to legislate that the federal government adds almost twenty four inches to my height so I'm equal in stature to Shaq, then he's crazier than I thought.

Colbert rips his arguments to shreds in the only way he knows how: with humor.

O'Reilly: Equality is what is hurting President Obama. the left has seized that word "equality" to push it's progressive agenda. We now have income equality, marriage equality, gender equality..And on and on and on...

Colbert: Yes, income, marriage, gender on and on and on. And yes those last three don't mean anything, but they don't mean anything equally.
And Bill laid out why fighting for equality is pointless.

O'Reilly: Each human being is born with abilities, but they are not equal abilities. I will never have physical equality with my fellow Irishmen Shaquille O'Neal. He's bigger and stronger than I am by nature. I will never be as smart as Einstein As talented as Mozart as kind as Mother Teresa.

Colbert: Oh, Come on, Bill, that list is too modest. You'll never be as fast as Usain Bolt or you'll never be as emotionally mature as a toddler or understand how tides work as a middle schooler. You'll never be as strong as a silver-back gorilla or win as many Oscars as Titanic.

O'Reilly's logic is airtight.

Some people are better at some things then other people are at that hing. so trying to achieve equality is unnatural. Take income inequality. Shaquille O'Neal is taller than Bill O therefore the richest 1% of Americans should control 40% of the nations wealth.

And Bill is not quite as good looking as George Clooney so men should not be allowed to marry. each other The point is Bill O'Reilly is no Einstein and we can all agree he's not. the equality is forever out of our reach

O'Reilly: The truth is there will never be equality in this world, it's impossible. It's an opium laced dream.

Colbert: Yes, I believe that's what Doctor King was talking about in his I have an opium Laced Dream speech.

Can you help us out?

For 18 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.