Read time: 4 minutes

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

For reasons that exceed my pay-grade by several million quatloos, the lords and ladies of American teevee media have collectively decided to observe the 15th anniversary of the attacks of September 11, 2001 by assembling a Jury of the Damned straight out of Devil and Daniel Webster.
Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

"You Were Americans Once" Edition.

For reasons that exceed my pay-grade by several million quatloos, the lords and ladies of American teevee media have collectively decided to observe the 15th anniversary of the attacks of September 11, 2001 by assembling a Jury of the Damned straight out of Devil and Daniel Webster.

If you flick on down the dial at just the right time and in just the right order you will see the following individuals being offered a national media platform from which to speak their mind, because apparently taking an individual dump on every grave in Arlington would be too time consuming:

Andy Card, disgraced former White House chief of staff for George W. Bush.

Mary Matalin, disgraced former counselor to Vice President Dick Cheney and chief editor of Threshold Edition, Simon & Schuster's wingnut division.

Disgraced former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

Weekly Standard editor, ABC employee and disgrace to his species, Bill Kristol.

Disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

Disgraced former corporeal entity, George Will.

Disgrace to users of the English language, Thomas Friedman of The New York Times.

Disgraced former G.W. Bush administration Attorney General, John Ashcroft.

Disgraced former Senator Alfonse D'Amato.

Disgraced Republican strategist Ed Rollins.

Disgraced former journalist Judith Miller.

The disgraceful Jonah Goldberg of the nation's second-most prominent journal of white supremacy, the National Review.

Paul Wolfowitz, the disgraced former deputy secretary of defense for George W. Bush.

David Brooks of The New York Times, who manages to simultaneously disgrace the professionals of journalism and historian every time he picks up his pen.

Peggy Noonan of The Wall Street Journal who, rumor has it, will take off her top and dance a tarantella on Chuck Todd's desk if you feed her enough gin in the green room.

In addition to all of that, Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal has turned a large chunk of it's 9/11 editorial page over to one of the worst and most unrepentant American war criminals and profiteers in modern history, and his blood-drunk beast of a daughter. From the Daily Mail UK:

'No American president has done more to weaken the US': Ex-VP Cheney delivers stinging rebuke to Obama in searing op-ed on 15th anniversary of 9/11

Dick Cheney, the former vice president, accused President Barack Obama of doing more than any of his predecessors to 'aid America's adversaries' and 'hobbling our defenses' against Islamic terrorist groups.

In a stinging Wall Street Journal op-ed co-written with his daughter, Wisconsin congressional candidate Liz Cheney, the former vice president said that Obama's policies have emboldened terrorist organizations and hostile terror-supporting countries.

Dick Cheney is widely regarded as the driving force behind the Bush administration's foreign policy interventions in Afghanistan and Iraq following the attacks of September 11, 2001.

Obama was also faulted by the former vice president and his daughter for what they say is his dangerous downsizing of American armed forces.

'By reducing the size and strength of our forces, he has ensured that future wars will be longer, and put more American lives at risk,' they wrote.

The Cheneys also took Obama to task for cancelling the 'enhanced interrogation program' – the controversial detention and interrogation of suspected Al-Qaeda terrorists.

The op-ed also goes on to accuse Obama of squandering President George W. Bush's achievements in stabilizing Iraq and of kowtowing to Iran.

These were Americans once.

All of them were privileged to have the ear of real power, All of them grossly abused that privilege to the detriment of this country. Out of pride or stupidity or tribal loyalty or a craven desire for professional advancement, in one way or another, all of them sold us out. They have never atoned or even acknowledged their crimes against the welfare of this nation, and yet to this day, for reasons which no one has the courage to step up and explain in plain language, they all continue to profit from their perfidy.

All with the able assistance of their collaborators in the media:


Daniel Webster: A jury of the damned...

Mr. Scratch: Dastards, liars, traitors, knaves. Your suggestion, Mr. Webster - 'the quick or the dead.'

Daniel Webster: This is outrageous, I asked for a fair trial...

Mr. Scratch: Americans, all.

Crossposted at

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