October 5, 2016

Last night Gov. Mike Pence had to pretend that his cohort, Donald Trump, is a viable, sane and responsible choice for POTUS. That comedic opportunity was not lost on Stephen Colbert and he hit the VP nominee hard on areas that, sadly, were missed in the actual debate.

As the saying goes about lawyers, Pence's lips were moving, therefore, lies were flying around the stage like mosquitos over a swamp. Colbert brilliantly capitalized on Pence's obfuscation of actual Trump quotes.

He touched on "Governor Religious Freedom Restoration Act's" early days in radio.

Meanwhile, Mike Pence is the Governor of Indiana, who worked as a local talk radio host and described himself as "Rush Limbaugh on decaf." (Laughter)

That's interesting. I didn't realize caffeine was the active ingredient in Oxycontin.

Unlike the actual debate moderator Elaine Quijano, Colbert wasn't about to allow the Indiana Governor's homophobic past to go unchecked.

As governor, Pence's record was marked by his Religious Freedom Bill (RFRA) that allows businesses to refuse service to gay customers on religious grounds. Because, as Jesus himself said, "Get out of my pizza parlor, you queers!" I'm paraphrasing."

He likened the whole proceedings to watching white bread get pistol whipped by a jar of mayonnaise. Not a lot of flavor, but there was a clear winner. Stephen noticed the moderator's efforts to legitimize Trump and he didn't seem too impressed by Elaine Quijano's performance.

She was not afraid to ask the tough questions! "Governor Pence, let me ask you, you have said Donald Trump is thoughtful, compassionate and steady."

"My question is, Governor, have you met Donald Trump?"

Colbert knew a little something about the recent Trump Foundation controversies, and unlike Quijano, he brought up the bad news surrounding his alleged charitable foundation.

COLBERT: Pence defended the Trump Foundation which has been under fire for some shady business practices.

PENCE: The Trump Foundation is a private family foundation. They give virtually every cent to charitable causes.

COLBERT: It's true, they give virtually every cent to charities. The dollars, however...all go to Donald Trump.

Stephen also noticed Pence's awkward 'Mexican thing' comment.

When Kaine mentioned Trump's insults of Mexicans for the FOURTH time, Pence had the perfect comeback.

PENCE: Senator, you--you--you whipped out that Mexican thing again. (laughter)

That Mexican thing? That Mexican thing? It has a name, Governor, I call it Pedro! And it taught me Spanish. ¡Olé!

It's a shame we can't have Stephen Colbert moderating just one of these debates.

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