January 22, 2017

It is the only measure that Donald Trump understands. It's the sole thing that he craves over all else: the validation of high ratings. That's why our new president Trumplethinskin needed to taunt Arnold Schwarzenegger on Twitter over his ratings for the new season of Celebrity Apprentice.

And just like with the popular vote results, the Cheeto Benito just can't measure up.

The executive producer of The Apprentice was sworn in as the 45th President of the United States on Friday afternoon. Wall-to-wall coverage of the extensive festivities reached an average 30.6 million total viewers across the 12 broadcast and cable networks that went live for much of the day. That's 18 percent down from the nearly 38 million viewers who watched President Obama sworn in as No. 44 in 2009.

Ooh, that had to smart such a wildly insecure man. No wonder he and his flunkies were so testily insistent about the crowd sizes on Saturday. Because he knows that (crowd) size matters.

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