April 5, 2017

Ivanka went on women's television this morning.

Her interview style is a fashion model school A+: keep your chin down, your vowels round and your range low. And never forget, 700 million dollars in the bank and it's all about saving the brand from insane unsupervised tweets like, I dunno, this one:

Oh yeah he sent that during Shabbat. He ALWAYS tweets crazy stuff when she's busy.

Don't hate her because she's beautiful. Hate that she's doing everything she can to keep her Dad in power over clean air, reproductive rights, and tax cuts for millionaires like her.

It's going to be really hard for Cable News to not normalize Ivanka and her husband Jared, because "young, attractive, rich, and well-educated" gets eyeballs. And they HAVE to say something nice about the White House for "balance."

And boy do the Kushners know all of that.

That's what was wonderful about the SNL perfume parody. Stripped that shite right down to the base metal, folks.

Update (Karoli):

I had some words for Ivanka.

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